This week on Top Chef DC, a bunch of people whose names I still don't know cooked a bunch of delicious looking food for a delicious looking man named Sam Kass (who just happens to be the assistant chef at the White House). There were bad puns! There was sabotage! There was drama! And it's all ahead in this week's recap!
[Warning: There are spoilers ahead. And for your viewing pleasure, there are also multiple photos of Sam Kass. Enjoy.]
I Have The Need, The Need For... BUTTER?
The episode opened with the chefs hanging around the house getting to know each other. The boys were doing push-ups, Arnold was applying moisturizer, and Jacqueline was in the kitchen sauteing about 28 sticks of butter in a pan. "I need it! I have a disease," she explained. Andrea retorted, "Any disease that lets you eat that much butter is awesome. How can I get it?" Andrea, I suggest you move to Savannah and start hanging out with the Deens. It's a good start.
For this week's quickfire, the chefs were asked to make a BIPARTISANDWICH. Because they're in DC. And the government is bipartisan. Yep. It was a bad pun. But was it funny? Let's consult Betty White:
Betty has spoken! It was funny!
Joining Padma was assistant White House chef and all around hottie, Sam Kass, who's like Matt Damon's younger, hotter, balder brother. Seriously, if the whole "White House chef" thing doesn't work out for him, he could easily have a career in television or film. Or modeling. Or nude modeling. But I digress.
The chefs were paired into teams of two via a knife pull, and were given 30 minutes to prepare a sandwich for judging. But wait! There's more! They had to do it all while only using one hand and wearing an apron that connected them to their partner. Think of it as an elementary school field day event, with sharp knives. And bigger egos.
Sam and Padma liked Angelo and Tracey's dish the best, and they were given immunity for the upcoming elimination challenge. They made a flounder in fish sauce, with spicy mayo and pickled red onions. As it turns out, Tracey, aside from having a "secret crush" on Angelo, has a mean pair of incisors.
The chefs were divided into teams of four, and were given $130 per team to create a lunch for 50 elementary school students (eat your heart out, Jamie Oliver!) Each teammate was responsible for one item on the menu, and they were to be judged on their individual performances.
While shopping, Tiffany eased into her role as the designated "TIME LEFT SCREAMER." Come on. You know every season has one.
Meanwhile, Jacqueline had a very hard time staying within her extremely limited budget. She went over by $173, probably because she spent $150 of it on butter.
THIS JUST IN FROM CHEF ANNE BURRELL
And now back to your regularly scheduled recap.
The next day at Alice Deal Middle School, the chefs were given one hour to heat up the food they prepped yesterday. The kids really seemed to like all of their dishes, with the exception of Stephen's mushy rice (which one kid referred to as "rice and all that nasty stuff"). The judges, on the other hand, weren't fond of Amanda's sherry chicken or Jacqueline's banana pudding.
Sam Kass needs to be a permanent judge on Top Chef, pronto. The man clearly knows his stuff, and took zero bullshit from the contestants during judging. First, he called team Amanda, Stephen, Tamesha, and Jacqueline out on having enough money to buy sherry (for elementary school kids mind you)... and not good chocolate.
Then, Sam called team Angelo, Kenny, Ed, and Tracey out on not including enough vegetables in their meal. "That's why we put tomato on the burger," Kenny answered back, at which point Sam let him know that tomato is a fruit and not a vegetable. Ooh, burn!
The Best & The Worst
Ultimately, the judges named Kelly the winner of the challenge. They loved her pork tacos because they were nutritious and delicious.
Jacqueline was eliminated because her banana pudding (which she admitted contained a whopping 2 pounds of sugar) was too sweet and starchy. It wasn't nutritious, and was not well executed.
And that brought this week's episode to an end! Did you like the episode? Was the right person sent home?