Girlfriend-On-Vacation Food Pyramid
Girlfriends, this is what your boyfriends eat when you're not around. The Girlfriend-On-Vacation Food Pyramid illustrated by Lunchbreath gives us a peek into the nutritionally decrepit wasteland of boyfriends (or "lonely people who don't know how to turn on a stove") left on their own. I do approve of the impulse pancakes though.
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27 Comments:
Actually us guys eat what we want to eat pretty much all the time, we don't suffer from food guilt.
Fry a steak in bacon grease? Check!
We wouldn't bother eating most of the stuff in that pyramid because it would get in the way of eating more animal flesh.
Kettle Corn? When we could be eating bacon? Surely you jest ...
redfish at 5:44PM on 09/30/09
Yeah, where is the bacon? My husband's pyramid involves bacon, bagels, walnuts, whatever fruit I've left behind in the fridge.
jennywenny at 6:16PM on 09/30/09
Um, no. That's how I (a woman) eat when my husband's not in town. Check your stereotypes -- he's the one who insists on "meals." Except that "bowls of cereal" and "peanut butter graham cracker sandwiches dunked in milk" would need to be on this pyramid for it to accurately reflect me.
mscherryclafouti at 6:41PM on 09/30/09
This is how the boy eats when I'm around, only -- as others have mentioned -- with more bacon + pizza. And less cheese.
piccola at 7:06PM on 09/30/09
@mscherry - I'm in the same boat. The husband insists on actual meals. When he is away I often have Tostitos with guac for dinner.
lexophile at 7:07PM on 09/30/09
Only item I approve is in the lower right, and even there the proportions are a bit off. Hold the root beer, please. Ah, much better!
Chou Peng Qart at 7:24PM on 09/30/09
My bf gets homemade frozen food cooked by me (am I spoiling him too much?).
On the other hand, I lose my motivation to cook when he's out of town, so I end up eating a bowl of rice with something I can find in the fridge/freezer/pantry.
hmw0029 at 9:06PM on 09/30/09
I don't know many guys with that strong a sweet tooth! I think there should be a LOT more frozen pizza, mac & cheese, and meat on the list.
mgnnn at 10:34PM on 09/30/09
I'm entertained by the timing of this post. My boyfriend is currently on a business trip, and the way I've been eating is a total opposite of this. Totally upscale, and all the things he doesn't like. Mussels, one night, roasted veggies, shrimp pad thai... mmm. The fine dining is the only thing I've enjoyed this week, I'm ready for him to come home!
annabanannas at 10:37PM on 09/30/09
The only things that should be on this list are beer, pizza, and breakfast cereal!!
fiveforefun at 10:42PM on 09/30/09
I think I take exception to this one!
Not all men are incompetent buffoons who can't feed themselves, despite what you might see in commercials.
This is how my family would probably eat if I didn't do the cooking.
The only thing I change when I'm out of town, is that I order the shrimp. My wife is allergic, so I only eat it when I'm far, far away.
kevster at 11:21PM on 09/30/09
The last time I left my BF alone to fend for himself for a week he started the week strong - he wrapped prosciutto around chicken breasts and cooked them in his George Foreman grill. However, after he'd eaten those up, he proceeded to order a Philly Cheesesteak pizza from Domino's every night of the week. He'd eat half for dinner and the rest for breakfast. Repeat. Repeat again. Until I came home. Six days later.
Amandarama at 7:29AM on 10/01/09
That was painful to read. Nothing like portraying men as infantile buffoons to get a laugh. When the girlfriend (replacement mother figure) is away the boy will play? Please. Asinine.
jenh718 at 9:49AM on 10/01/09
Why do people believe this nonsense that all men are likely to accidentally microwave the cat if not for the gentle yet exasperated guidance of their highly competent girlfriends/wives?
Every other commercial on TV drives this point home. Every family sit-com is populated by men who are one guffaw away from launching a propane tank through the neighbour's window.
What about my experience: I've had a fair number of female roommates over the years. Few of them were capable of producing much more than a tuna noodle casserole. None of them were capable of cleaning up after themselves or buying toilet paper.
Should I apply this experience to ALL women? What do women wipe themselves with when the men aren't around to make sure there's toilet paper? My experience suggests they'll use paper towels, napkins, rough drafts of their school papers... anything so they don't have to go out to the store and buy toilet paper. Should I make a cartoon about it and put it on the internet?
kevster at 10:31AM on 10/01/09
is it possible that a few of the people who commented are wound up just a wee bit too tight? maybe? i thought the pyramid was amusing.
foodinmouth at 10:43AM on 10/01/09
this is just another example of how food and cooking becomes gendered. it reinforces gender stereotypes. i tend to be a better cook than a lot of the women i know; i just don't think it's funny -- using gender stereotypes for humor is easy and unoriginal at best, and sexist at worst.
arobotar at 11:08AM on 10/01/09
@kevster and @jenh718
It's called a stereotype. A stereotype is a device often used in humor.
Just because some of us find it amusing, doesn't mean we believe it applies to everyone.
timruddell at 11:09AM on 10/01/09
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke
timruddell at 11:10AM on 10/01/09
Some people found the talking Barbie who said "I can't do math" pretty amusing too!
kevster at 11:32AM on 10/01/09
I agree that men are portrayed poorly in popular culture.
But...this is kind of representative of how my fiance eats at home. He doesn't eat junk food because he can't cook. He just likes to eat it. And it drives me nuts because I'd prefer to see him eat more balanced meals, some veggies, and less salt.
And I really *can't* do math. Are we just horrible stereotypes?
Kerosena at 11:49AM on 10/01/09
this made me laugh.. i love the idea. ofcourse mine would have 'crappy pizza, bag of nuts (atleast its fiber!), Doritos sandwiches (yes they do exist), tuna out of a can, mountain dew, coffee, dunkin donuts, beer, more beer and crackers' on it.
if you are a man who doesn't eat like this - more power to you for embracing the inner foodie healthy person but at one point in your life you did. just admit it and laugh at yourself. its a joke people!
muffintops at 12:01PM on 10/01/09
@kevster
They're not at all comparable. This is an example of satire. A mathematically deficient Barbie doll most likely wasn't.
timruddell at 12:06PM on 10/01/09
Anyway: my girlfriend's not home, so I'd best go eat my block of cheese. :)
timruddell at 12:07PM on 10/01/09
Where is the giant bag of chips? Any kind of chips: potato, corn, mixed grain. The guys I know are more into salt than sugar. Or hot! Salsa with a big kick. Siracha sauce on everything. Banana peppers. Dill pickles. Canned tuna with enough mayo to choke a horse. And Mountain Dew till it floods!
But I go through days when I want nothing but tapioca pudding and a cheese sandwich for dinner. Kraft singles and the pudding in a cup!
I was lucky. I was taught to cook by a man, so I know some of them can cook. We all have off days, but I am the one eating the kettle corn, not some guy! And chocolate has always been a girl thing.
queenbleu at 12:47PM on 10/01/09
I probably do more meats and less veggies. Kettle corn, reddi-wip, crackers, oreo's and granola bars???? Who is this F!@#%$& guy?! I certainly have never watched a football game with him. What in God's green earth are reddi-wip crackers anyway? This guy needs an ass whoopin and a beer.
Here's what I like to eat...(If only I was smart enough to cook them for my simple self) Steak and eggs, bacon and eggs, steak and potato, sausage and peppers, mashed potato and some kinda meat, burritos, tacos, Pasta, Red beans and rice, Boudin, stews, chowders... fun stuff that isn't always healthy, but damned good.
So all this time I have been missing out on the glory of reddi-wip crackers, and granola bars?! HA! Pass the ribeye and the remote!
Pavlov at 2:50PM on 10/01/09
well.. some guys like sweets.
I know when my bf and I were in different cities, he'd impulsively buy a whole cake from a grocery store. Granola bars (not chocolate, tho) is still his staple food.
(But he also loves chips and beer. and bacon.)
hmw0029 at 4:51PM on 10/01/09
I found it quite funny! That's how most of my friends eat. But as a 20-something single dude myself, I speak with pride when I say that I home-cook every dinner and even make myself microwaveable dishes of awesomeness for lunch.
FlavorCountry at 7:32PM on 10/01/09