"The thing is, I'm not really fat any more."

A couple of months ago I remember posting about my readjusted weight goals. Feeling confident and almost giddy with delight from all the success I've had in the last year and a half, I proclaimed that I was headed for 200 pounds or less. I still hope to be, but I see that the road to 200 pounds is filled with potholes, which in my case is a combination of pot roast and doughnut holes.

Though there may have been one fluky week when I dipped below 210, my weight has been fluctuating between 211 and 216 for the last four months. It's been kind of discouraging because now I don't know if I will ever get to below 200 pounds. Part of it, I suppose, is that it's hard to lose the last fifteen pounds when you've come as far as I have, from 265 pounds to be exact.

Why exactly is that? I'm not a doctor, but I certainly have my theories.

I think most of this has to do with my body's internal thermostat. My body's been continuously adapting to my weight loss, and now maybe it's telling me that I actually weigh what I should. Could this be true, or is it the ultimate fat guy rationalization?

The thing is, I'm not really fat any more, at least by most people's reckoning. By supermodel standards I'm still fat, but I'm not sure those standards apply to regular people who don't model for a living. My waist is 38, down from 46. I move a hell of a lot faster around the squash court, and I don't get tired climbing up the subway stairs.

But the books and the charts all say I should weigh less than 200 pounds--and those books and charts weigh heavily on me. Maybe it's true. And maybe I have been slipping up and am less vigilant in resisting all the food sitting around the Serious Eats World HQ. I'm not trying to make excuses. I'm just trying to figure out where to go from here.

I think what I'll do is just take it one week at a time. Some weeks I might stay the same, some weeks I might lose a pound, and some weeks I might even gain a pound. I'm going to recalibrate my goals.

I'm going to try to lose two pounds a month. It may take me seven or eight months to reach my under 200 goal but I'm not in a hurry. Hopefully I've given myself the luxury of time with all the weight I've lost.

The Weigh-In

I weighed 216 last week. Psychologically it's really important for me to be able to tell people that I've lost fifty pounds when they ask about my weight loss (which happens four or five times a week). So 215 is that magic fifty-pound weight loss number. I would be thrilled if I got on the scale and Thinner gave me the high sign with a 215 pound reading.

Here goes: 215. Down a pound. I did it. Onward and downward from here, a half pound at a time. Fifty pounds down, time is on my side (I hope).