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No offense to above, or to you Adam, but it is abundantly obvious that neither of you are true menu whisperers. Those of us who are imbued with this extrasensory ability know that it cannot be learned, taught or even explained on the normal planes of human consciousness. If there's one thing I can tell you, it's that you gotta go with what moves you, and don't over-think it. I've said too much!

On the upside, we'll always let you taste what we ordered. We know we're good at it.

I always tend to avoid, if at all possible, any type of 'plain' sounding food--as in garden salad, spinach dip, garlic bread--without any descriptions, if the rest of the menu tends to go into more detail about the entrees. I like to go for more daring combinations, if I can find something vegetarian.

It's annoying when you sit next to a table with really florid, enticing-looking entrees and you're cursing to yourself--why didn't I order that!

Any advice going to Chinese or Indian places--I sometimes just ask a place that is supposed to be good to prepare me something vegetarian.

BTW: I never order 'Buddha's Delight' at a Chinese restaurant, because that will invariably be a boring, watered-down, and virtually sauce-free lump of veggies. Also never order fried rice or any 'Cantonese' dishes.

A few more rules (more personal)-I never order full entrees at a diner, usually only breakfast and lunch-type stuff, usually because it will be just WAY too much food for me, to even lift ;)

I never order ice cream at a restaurant, or brownie sundaes (bad ice cream used to cover up bad brownies).

I almost always go to Chinese restaurants with native Mandarin speaker(s) and make them order :-)
For some reason, being a native Japanese speaker doesn't make things better at Japanese restaurants. sad.

I tend to ask what's the waiter/waitress's favorite- not sure if that helps, though.

I love your post! My girlfriend, who is not into food, invariably gets the better dish when we go out. Its exasperating. (Nikonratm, yes, she does let me have a taste of hers which just makes things worse.) I could follow her lead, but then I would never know...

Okay, here's my take:

1. Order your whole meal from the appetizer section. As a rule much more goes into making these so-called "little" bites interesting and enjoyable than the obligatory filet and potatoes (or salmon etc)

2. READ the menu: imagine eating this dish. Do the ingredients intrigue you? You cook, what do you think? Do the ingredients balance? But don't be afraid to try something which you might not have seen before. (I rarely watch IronChef but the other day they had one where the secret ingredient was fennel and it was eye-popping (taste-bud popping??))
Does it balance with the other dishes you are eating?

3. One light course and one heavy one is my rule. Too much food is too much food and your enjoyment will suffer. You want to walk away from the meal feeling satisfied, not stuffed. Remember, there is always another meal to come. If you don't eat a cream based sauce today, you can tomorrow!

4. You can ask the waiter what other people order but, seriously, are you "other" people??? Ask yourself if you like it!

When asked to list his most memorable meals, one thing my boyfriend always brings up is my meal from Vetri. He can't even remember what he himself ordered.

I cook a lot myself, so I always look for familiar (or at least interesting) ingredients combined in novel ways. I went to Molly Moon's in Seattle (an amazing all-homemade ice-cream shop in Capitol Hill) just recently, and while my friends stuck with strawberry vanilla and salted caramel, both of which were great, I gave their raspberry sage milkshake a try, and was rewarded with a superb and unique-tasting dessert. It mostly comes down to knowing what you like and being willing to try it in a context that's unfamiliar.

Menu Whisperer. I like that. A lot. Can I get it on a T-shirt?
I always wondered if there were others out there like me. Others who are cursed with jealous looks from fellow eaters, constant requests to "try a bite," humiliated for asking the waiter too many questions...
I never realized this until I went to my FAVORITE mexican restaurant, ordered my FAVORITE dish and recommended dishes to others who had never been there. They, of course, ignored my recommendations and ordered other things. None of them liked what they got, but they all tasted mine and longed for it for the rest of the meal.
I generally pick a recurring ingredient on the menu that I adore and eliminate other items withOUT that ingredient, then I choose something exciting from the remaining dishes. ex: gorgonzola.
I secretly wish EVERYONE let me order for them.

Rereading the comments I'm wondering if a lot of this has to do with how much experience we have as cooks. You develop over time an ability to read recipes and imagine how they'll taste and how easy they'll be to execute, and menu reading is sort of recipe reading. (On the other hand, if you're a really good cook it can be a challenge to find a place where they make things as well as you would at home).

I read this post with my husband and he exclaimed, "that is exactly what you do!" Which got me to thinking about my method of ordering. I realized that I order based entirely on wish dish has the best side dish/axillary items with it rather than order based on the protein or how the main component of the dish is prepared. I think that that ends up making my dining experience better.

Clever use of the "secondi" menu image for part 2 Adam!
*pat on back*

Apparently I am a menu whisperer, my ex-girlfriend used to complain that her dishes where never near as good as mine - and I usually agreed. Though I'm actually only good at picking the best dishes at restaurants with American and European cuisine, because I grew up with this food and think because of that, I can spot the interesting stuff. At Asian, Mexican, etc. restaurants, I am horribly inept!

@Robyn: Do you take pictures of all the menus you're exposed to? If so: thats a rockin' hobby!

Many, many years ago, I found myself at a table of people much more food-wise and connected than myself, and at a restaurant in Napa (La Tra Vigne). As clueless as I was about food and ordering, I had the presence of mind to be sufficiently awed and intimidated to order.

The chef (a younger Michael Chiarello, a person I had never heard of), came to our table, owing to the stature of my dining party. He and I somehow made eye contact and he somehow could tell I was a little overwhelmed and intimidated. He sat down next to me and we chatted nervously.

Finally, he said "do you know what you are going to order?" I sort of hemmed and hawed, and finally said "I have no idea. I am totally out of my element and I know I am going to order the wrong thing." After assuring me that I could do no such thing at THIS restaurant, he leaned in conspiratorially and told me the gospel:

"When in doubt, at a restaurant of good repute, always, ALWAYS, order the braised short ribs."

It was the gospel I needed to hear, and ever since, I have followed and spread the divine word.

My husband is a menu whisperer! In fact, when I read the title of Ed's post yesterday I thought he was referring to this ability to have the better order. I am always envious of my husband's plate when we get our food. Thank goodness as part of our marriage contract, he is obliged to share his food with me in restaurants :)

it's quite an insight to know about the 'menu whisperer'. I think I have that uncanny ability. and it can be learned, acquired and mastered. I will do more research on it...

I am the menu whisperer in my family. My secret, anytime i see an item with Goat Cheese, or Mushrooms, I know it will be good. I know it sounds ridiculous but its true. Its not the only thing I order, but they are always the best.

I think I have this skill, but only at restuarants in America. I recently discovered that it wasn't so useful abroad...

Anyhow, people have asked me before, and mostly, I don't have any great answers, but I do have only one rule: if there's a dish named after the place, get it. Even if it's chicken. It will be awesome.