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Get this, my sister does not allow people to order the same dish as her, nor does she share her food. How does that work?

When she's not within earshot I refer to her as the restaurant-nazi.

"For others, sharing food is like sharing gum or toothbrushes." I, uh, have been known to share both of those. Needless to say, I am a food sharer.

Unless we've agreed on family style in the middle of the table, I'd rather just eat my own food. I won't be so mean to deny someone a small sample if they ask, but I won't go out of my way to offer bites of what I've chosen unless it's plentiful French fries or something. I did order my dish for a reason.

Share away. When my family eats together we basically decide our ordering as a group. This puts off some people when they eat with us.

Well, I grew up in an Asian household - all food is eaten family style. But since not all my friends are Asian, I don't expect them to be as into the sharing as I am. But with my close friends, I definitely always cut them a piece of my food and plop in on their plate and they do the same for me. Or we just eat off of each other's plates - we're cool like that. But even when I'm with people who don't share. I STILL never never order a repeat. Because even if I can't eat someone else's food and no one's eating mine, I still want to SEE variety around the table. It makes me happy.

Most of the people I choose to go out with are like me always seeking something new and exciting. So we really don't mind sharing the experiance. I think it makes it more memorable and personal!

I spend about three months each year in Southeast Asia, and often lead teams of Americans on tours of Cambodia and Thailand. As team leader, I get to set the rules -- we always order family style. Each team member gets to order whatever they like off the menu, but they have to be willing to share with everyone else. Trip participants leave having tried dozens -- if not hundreds -- of new dishes. No one likes everything, but everyone finds something they like. This works well in America, too, as long as everyone else is game. I had lunch the other day at an Italian restaurant and instead of being stuck with one plate of food, I had small portions of seven or eight amazing meals. Family style is definitely the way to go.

If it's family style, anything goes, of course. If we are all ordering our own food, I am happy to share, and always feel comfortable offering to share of my food, especially if it's really good!

But I don't want to share forks or anything. You bring your own flatware to my plate.

I don't like my dining companions to order the same dish i do because i want to try as much as possible. This doesn't mean sharing, more like a bite or two. As far as real family style sharing, i'll only do that with fgamily, really close friends/lovers and at family style restaurants. It's a imntimacy thing. Otherwise don't touch my food.

"Know Thyself" was the aphorism written above the oracle at Delphi. Food sharers do it better.

I grew up in a family of friendly vultures. Anything, on any plate, was fair game. By the time I went to college, I had associated sharing food with "hey, I like you". Well, the first day of college my roommate had a box of oreos. I, naturally, snatched a few. She, in a polite way, told me that they were hers. I was crushed! I was completely convinced that she utterly hated me, and couldn't understand why she was being so nice 10 minutes later.
Obviously, I learned that some people are just not sharers.

Yikes! I am really urked when someone asks if I want to try some of their food. It makes me feel obligated to offer a bite of mine and that seems like infringing on personal property...I know it must sound terribly selfish to all you great sharers, but I am just not accustomed to that. I did not know food sharing was so popular.

Sharing is not completely off the table for me, but it has to occur within lines. I know there are people who like to just send their forks into other people's plates. That will end up with someone who is not me losing their hand as well as their fork.

If someone asks, I'll give them some; I'm not a monster. Even still, you've got to be pretty tight with me to even take this sort of risk. But, when I go to a restaurant, I'm not one of those communal plate people. It's sort of gross to me and, as well, if I really wanted what you have, I would have just ordered it.

All of this said, I'm not anti-sharing, but only when it's appropriate like a dinner party, family meal, or something that requires a team effort. Otherwise, I keep my plate to myself.

I hate the no same order's rule. In polite society I feel like ordering different things is something you're supposed to do, but I don't want a bite of your steak, I want my own damn steak. If you also want steak, you best beg for a bite of mine or be alright with the double order. I have no problem with someone bringing up the topic of sharing two different meals, and often I'll happily oblige, but I have no intention of sacrificing a craving for the sake of being polite.

I'm not a pro-sharing zealot. I just encourage y'all to try ordering "family style" a couple of times. You might be surprised at how much you like it...

"I ordered a cheeseburger, not ONE-FOURTH of a cheeseburger."

Haha. Awesome. Yeah, I hate the idea of sharing. However, my germophoebia gets stabbed in the face when I'm with cousins or at a dim sum restaurant. In short, it is never acceptable to share food because those with an incessant fear of mononucleosis should not have to give into their ways.

I like ordering odd stuff off the menu--not to be difficult, but because I love obscure foods and like to reward the places that have them on the menu. So if I'm with a couple of people and I order sweetbreads or skate wing, I'll convince my fellow diners to try a bite. Unless they have some sort of ethical/religious objection or a serious phobia, I'll dump a forkful on their plates. Sometimes that's the only way people ever try new things.

The reverse is usually not the case; no, I'm good without a glop of fettuccine alfredo or plain roasted chicken breast.

My worst food memory is of a friend-of-a-friend who was sitting next to me at dinner, and swooped her fork into my plate uninvited, saying " I've got to taste that - I always try everyone's food!" This was someone I had just met three days before. She didn't even ask me - just the swoop into the plate. Ack!

But I like family-style dining in general for groups, and don't mind sharing with family/friends IF they ask first.

I agree that it definitely depends on the group/person you're with. When I'm out with some friends, we definitely share (it's pretty much expected/assumed). My family definitely shares. But other friends are strictly "don't touch" diners. And that's fine.

My only exception: do NOT touch my dessert unless invited (or we agree to share ahead of time). It's rare I order dessert, so when I do, it's mine, all mine. You can blame my mother, who once nearly stabbed me with her fork once for attempting to share her dessert.

I'm big time anti-sharing. My boyfriends family is very pro-sharing. They always want to order everything and share it all, and then I end up only getting a few bites of what I wanted. If I wanted what they were ordering I would have ordered it myself. What is also really annoying is that I always go home with leftovers - I just can never finish anything, so I always have lunch for the next day - but when everybody's sharing, there's never any leftover and I end up paying for but not eating a whole meal.

that being said, I always share bites with the boyfriend, but never like 1/2 of mine, 1/2 of his type thing.

I'm in culinary school, so I'm in a culture where everybody wants to try everything. But I've realized that not only is it gastronomically more interesting to share dishes, it kicks the fun level up a notch. Suddenly it's interactive!

@Not Yukio

Funny thing about the whole food and sex symposium - I equate food to something like sex, and I just go all out and share all the goodness. I wouldn't dine with people I'm not comfortable with anyway. And if I am dining with strangers, same precautions as STDs :P

I guess I'm a slut.

I love sharing food at a restaurant. Next time I may order what she had and enjoy my meal more. Or the reverse and never order that dish. There is never a reason not to taste, share or sample. I got over the "cootie" thing eons ago.

My favorite sharing anecdote involves a married couple I sat across from. He said he was ordering a hamburger and fries. She asks him if he really wants fries. He says he's really hungry and wants fries. She says she doesn't think she can eat a whole order by herself. He says okay, let's share. The food comes and he's intensely caught up in telling a big chunk of his thriller novel that he had just figured out some tricky plotting that had be vexing him for days. As he's talking, he's eating the fries from the separate plate they came on because the hamburger plates are small and can barely hold the burger. After a few seconds, he notices her staring at him and not too happily. He gives her a look that says "what?" and she tells him "you eat faster than I do so you always end up eating all the fries before I get my share so you have to put your half of the fries on your plate now." (No, I don't think that was really about french fries and yes, they had issues in general.)

I'm a sharer of tastes, I want to try as many things as possible, but order to my appetite so if you want a significant portion of something, order your own serving unless you're giving me an equivalent amount back. hehe That's usually not a problem though because I don't often eat with people I'm not good friends with and so don't have a problem asking about sharing from the start. With most of my family and friends, it's usually assumed that's what will happen. When it comes to dessert, we're more likely to order an extra one than split a single. Ordering sufficient quantities goes a lot way towards preventing sharing resentment.

So, reading this far it seems that there is a group of non- sharers (who others leave pretty much alone), a group of share with permission folks (which is cool as long as everyone is on the same page) and the (seemingly) universally despised "yours is mine and you're uptight if you disagree" folks. If it's family style where you move a portion to your plate, and your neighbor does the same, fine. But once food is on a given persons plate, it is their to decide how consumption shall go. If you agree to share a plate or desert with a companion ahead of time, great. But because someone else's food looks great or interesting or different does not give one carte blanche to invade anothers personal space. Would you grab someone you just met in a sensitive area? If not, you shouldn't grab their food either.

I don't usually switch plates with someone, but exchanging a few bites (especially of dessert, because one person can't order the entire menu and it all looks good) is more than acceptable.

That said, I don't like people who take but who do not share. I'm a strict vegetarian. One time I went out to lunch with coworkers, and they all ordered meat dishes. I couldn't have cared less – until they all started spooning vegetable curry off my plate. Apparently everyone was used to swapping at this restaurant, and although I couldn't eat anything that they had ordered, I was still expected to share my food. I was left with about 1/8th the original serving and had to fill up on rice and tea.

The situation nicely resolved itself, though. Without me saying a word, in fact, with me insisting that they should order what they most want to eat. When I go, at least one other person will order a veg dish so the swapping's not one-sided (luckily, everyone's a fan of the ginger salad with toasted broad beans). It's very sweet of them, and I really appreciate it.

My partner and I rarely, if ever, order the same dish. We always share, unless I'm craving something that she doesn't particularly care for. Sometimes we split it down the middle (if it's something we both wanted to try), other times it's just a bite or two.

With other people, I really have no problem with it, though I rarely offer (unless the other person has something I want to try--I guess I'm selfish!)

I dislike sharing very much and take sharing propensities into account in deciding who I eat with.

If what you ordered looks interesting, I will order it next time I am at the restaurant, I do not need a taste, I am not a five year old child, I am capable of delaying gratification.

If you ask to try my food I will allow you to do so, but I will be bitterly resentful.

Unless it is a family-style kind of meal - like Thai, Indian, whatnot - I am not much for sharing unless it is unusual or special in some way - but not for the reason you think. I don't mind giving up a few bites of what I'm eating, but most of the time, I don't want to disrupt the flavours of what I'm eating with something else. And mostly I only share that way with my husband, unless it's a close friend or family member - but those are really the only people I do fine dining with, so I guess that makes sense. In more casual places, unless it's say a gorgeous plate of fried seafood in Gloucester, MA - there's really no call for it. And please let me serve you a bite, don't stick your fork in my plate.

I'm all for sharing - IF I LIKE YOU. If I don't like you, don't touch.

Family style rocks when it's a group of like-minded friends.

i'm really only into sharing when the dish is meant to be shared, and arrives to be served family-style. i usually don't mind giving someone a small taste of something, if they're a close friend or family member, but what's on my plate is mine, and not up-for-grabs, and they can't just stick their fork or chopsticks in to my plate. if i'm giving up a little taste, i'll plate it for them on their side plate or put it on their main plate.

I love sharing food at restaurants that serve larger portions, especially if I'm with a group of my friends. That said, stay the heck away from my dessert. Seriously. The question "do you want to split ____?" is usually countered with "do you want to get a clue?" Unless I'm bursting-at-the-seams-full-and-can-really-only-manage-one-bite-of-something-sweet, please...spare yourself the pain and months of physical therapy and steer clear of my tiramisu.

I'm fine with sharing, but for the love of god, ASK FIRST! Because seriously, if you swoop in and take that perfectly seasoned roasted potato I am saving for a final good bite to go out on, you might just end up with my fork in the back of your hand.

I actually get secretly mad at fellow diners when they order repeat dishes. I have successfully turned both my best friend and my boyfriend into avid meal sharers. It's SO much better.

When someone asks for a sample of my food I give it to them, but I glare at them so that hopefully they will get the hint and not do it again. When they ask me if I want to sample theirs I just say no thank you.

I'll share everything. Toothbrushes, any food, everything. My father will even eat off your plate if he doesnt know you.

If we're friends, I'll gladly offer you a taste of what I order. I might even ask you for a taste of yours. But come after my plate uninvited, and yes, you will end up with a fork stuck in your hand.

Being raised Japanese style, I never had to share because each of us had our own spread of entree and side dishes. The only time we ever ate family style at home was when my mother made sukiyaki.

I've posted on this before, but growing up we very rarely ate Chinese or communally presented food. The only time we ate Chinese food was at a formal function with those spinning serving platforms in the center.

Imagine my friend's surprise (I was 16, he was ~23) at a Chinese restaurant in SF. I ordered a dish of fried noodles or something similar. My plate was dropped off. I pulled it 2-3" inches toward me and began eating straight from the plate. He had this look of horror on his face. I asked him what was wrong. He told me that I wasn't supposed to eat straight from the plate. I waited for a few minutes. His food arrived, along with two empty plates. I had no intention of sharing my food, and did not. I transferred the noodles to my plate and ate it myself.

With that said, my mother and I always shared portions of our food when we went somewhere new each week. My father and I don't share. I will offer, he always declines.

My husband and I will sometimes switch plates, which confuses the server or makes them feel bad about giving us the wrong plates. At every meal when we dine out, even if it's the same food at the same place we always eat, we share a portion on a small plate or bowl, whatever is on the table. We try to order different stuff, rarely do we order the same item, even sides, unless it's too awesome to not get.

I don't dine with people who take w/o asking, excluding my husband - we take each other's food w/o asking. It's always just a morsel, so I don't see it as a problem. We'll point somewhere to make the other person look elsewhere, and swipe something too.

I don't share drinks with anyone but my husband. Not even my parents.

For the Anti Camp---Put a buffer of an order of fries in the middle of the table that way theres a distraction......

Pro Camp--Lets get together and try some new stuff!

As stated above many times, it totally depends. For example:

One of my family's favorite restaurants is a Vietnamese place. My parents have known the owner since she started 20 years ago. Her daughter (the waitress) practically orders for us... You know, "oh we have this tonight, and this would go good with that, and mom made a special dish that's not on the menu you should try....", etc. Needless to say we always share. First come, first serve. Take what you like, skip what you don't. Like someone said above, its "interactive."

Alternately, tonight we are going to "Pirate's Table", one my favorite local surf-n-turf places. In this scenario, everyone orders what they want. If you want a taste (fyi: a 'taste' = 1 (one) bite), ask and ye shall receive. If you get full, you may offer the rest to someone else. But personally, I never, ever, give away more than one 'taste' of steak. And surf? Don't bother asking.... it's mine, all mine, yarr.

@AnnieNT - Amen!

I haven't seen much from the prepatory side of things but as some one who's worked in a restaurant before it's annoying as HELL for a table of 6 to order one thing from the whole menu.

Especially when they realize they're ordering full meals with sides and not appetizers to which they leave 1/2 to 2/3's full plates. It bogs the kitchen down, is wasteful and defeats the purpose of a large menu.

The point is to get you to come back and try something DIFFERENT again and again if you like our style!

I only share with family members. And vice versa. My son will order something and offer it to me. Sometimes I will try it, sometimes I won't.
I do the same with him. We rarely order the same thing to eat when we go out. Also, I was raised where family style eating wasn't the norm. Later in life I saw the advantages of it and embraced it. But when I am with anyone that isn't family, I pretty much revert back to being very selfish with my food. I don't ask for what they are eating, nor do I share what I am eating with them.

When is it socially acceptable NOT to share food? Assuming everyone's mom taught "sharing is caring", I find it hurtful when people even consider not sharing. You don't share, you don't come to dinners.

Sharing food is beyond tacky. It's something you do as a child, with your family, behind closed doors. The thought of a group of people's dirty cutlery going into my food is enough to make me barf. If you want to try what I'm eating, you should have ordered it. Or better yet, order a different entree next time.

If I'm with a group of people that I know will expect me to share my food, I ask the waitress to split my entree in half and go from there. Otherwise, it's no dice.

Sharing food is alright, it promotes being at ease with the person. If you dont like to share, thats alright I really dont want to fight off a person who acts like a dog anyway.

Sharing is permissible any time people agree to share.

I like family style meals and usually like sharing. The only exception to this is when I go to a tapas restaurant...I always feel like there is not enough food and everything is so tasty but there is just so little of it!! I get too stressed out-I just want to ask the server to bring me the rest of whatever I ordered that little taste is NOT enough.

Sharing is the standard for me and my husband. We almost never order the same dish. Usually upon their arrival we each taste both of the dishes. If one of us strongly prefers the other's dish, we switch. If we both really like both dishes, we each eat about half and then switch plates. If we both like the same dish and both really dislike the other (which is infrequent), my husband insists that I eat the better dish. We didn't concoct this rigid-sounding regime - it has simply evolved over many years of wedded bliss. A perfect system (ok, less perfect for him)!

First of all I think one should never 'steal' off another's plate. Silverware incl chopsticks were originally weapons to defend one's food, so permission should be asked before reaching over, unless permission was firmly previously established.
I have a problem with 'plate envy' so I may choose to order the same thing as another, because why order something else, only to then desire the other's plate more than my own. So right on @ksimmy. I usually interview my table mates before I make a choice, unless I had one of those lucky days where I have a craving that the restaurant can fulfill.
I am happy to have you share, and may put the brakes on if you are eating most of mine, and none of yours (which I don't desire either).
I can't stand all that germ phobic behavior of 'you can have that corner, I didn't touch it'. If you are that phobic you are unsuitable for sharing I think.
I love family style because my preference is usually a little taste of everything. Getting Chinese take-out with my mate is a challenge 'cause he just orders and eats his one or two things and doesn't want any of mine. (He is a reluctant sharer-but has been trainable.) So that's makes for less variety. I solve this issue by ordering 3 dishes for me, me, and me and eating the leftovers for lunch over a few days. Problem solved.
Sharing is nice but what is even nicer is respecting people's eating preferences incl wether they share or not (and not incl. someone forbidding for you to order the same as them).

It seems unnatural for me not to share, but then I grew up in a family where sharing food was the norm. It was very weird one time when I went out with a group of friends to a place I knew had mediocre big portions (I was outvoted on where to go) and asked if anyone wanted to split a dish with me and they all looked at me like I was insane. I shut-up and at the end no one finished their meal.

There are some unspoken rules to polite sharing though. If you ask, make sure you have something to give back. My mom is the queen of breaking this rule, she'll always be like I'm not that hungry I'll just have a bite of yours and of course half the time she's paying so it's not like anyone can say no. It was especially obnoxious when we were in Italy where you're trying to taste as much of everything in the short amount of time you have. I think this stems from when my sister and I were kids and would never finish our meals, but we're not kids anymore.

Another is don't force anyone to order what you want just to share. My littlest sister is famous for doing this and she gets away with it because stepmom wants her to eat. I was amazed at how she dictated what my stepmom and dad would eat and when she turned to me I was just like uh uh I know what I'm getting.

Ask ask ask is the third. There are certain occasions where you don't have to (my sister and I never do when we go out to eat together, but we've been doing that a long time) but always err on the side of asking. It's just good to be polite.

Different occasions call for different types of sharing. Now that I've moved I've got to find new dining companions who like to share.

sharing does not bother me at all...just DON"T eat from my personal dish in front of me...or try to feed me off your fork/chopsticks..I will leave !!!

I'm a sharer. With family and some friends I will share any of mine and try any of theirs, often finishing the left over bits or cleaning up other peoples plates. Sometimes I steal food from others without asking, but knowing that those people won't mind. Sharing goes beyond food, and extends to utensils in my family, I know its not for everyone, but it works out great for us.