If you struggled through the allegories and poetic structure of Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven in class, maybe you'll do better with the milk version. It's actually an Amazon product review for Tuscan Whole Milk that's been floating around the internet for a bit, but we still find it pretty funny. It starts:
Once upon a mid-day sunny, while I savored Nuts 'N Honey,
With my Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 gal, 128 fl. oz., I swore
As I went on with my lapping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at the icebox door.
'Bad condensor, that,' I muttered, 'vibrating the icebox door -
Only this, and nothing more.'
The raven gets replaced by a kitty licking up "the pool so white and silky" o'er the kitchen floor. I really hope Edgar got academic credit for this somehow. Talk about an Amazon review poet laureate. [via Metafilter]