Ed Levine's Serious Diet, Week 81: A Frank Chat with Frank Bruni on Being 'Born Round'
"I was objectively chubby by age four, fat by age six, and was on the Atkins diet for the first time at age eight." —Frank Bruni
For all of the serious eaters who overdosed on the hype surrounding Julie & Julia (hey, the back of my head was in the movie, so if I'm guilty as charged there's a good reason for that), I'm giving you a heads-up that the hoopla accompanying the publication of Born Round, now former New York Times restaurant critic Frank Bruni's memoir, is going to make Julie & Julia seem like it was an under-the-radar phenomenon. The book is in stores today, so let the Bruni media madness begin (it actually began with his appearance on Nightline Wednesday night).
Anyway, I read the book with great interest, but not to learn any juicy restaurant critic gossip (in fact, very little of the book has to do with Bruni's restaurant critic stint.) Instead he reveals that, like me, he has grappled with a weight problem virtually his whole life. Grappling may be an understatement.
Though Frank and I are not close friends, we have broken bread on three or four occasions during his five-year tenure as the Times restaurant critic. We had pizza a couple of months ago, and mid-slice Frank started talking about what the book was about. We realized that he and I had covered a lot of the same ground in dealing with our weight issues. Our discussion touched on everything from immigrant grandmothers who loved cooking massive amounts of food (and egging us grandchildren on to overeat), to the very nature of our complex and complicated relationship to food. I'll save our grandmother exchange for another post.
Frank Bruni at Fairway Cafe on the Upper West Side.
As Frank himself put it in a subsequent email: "The book is ultimately about how to integrate a love of food with a healthy body/lifestyle." So when I interviewed him this week, we focused on that and not on being a restaurant critic.
Ed Levine: When and how did your relationship with food become unhealthy? [Ed. note: I asked him this because I can't remember a time I didn't have an unhealthy relationship with food, until I started my serious diet.]
Frank Bruni: When? Early on, if unhealthy means I couldn't seem to control the sheer amount of it that ingested—and that I wanted to ingest. When I use the phrase Born Round, I'm in part talking about a predisposition to big quantities of food and an accordant destiny of being overweight. Anyway, I was objectively chubby by age four, fat by age six, and was on the Atkins diet for the first time at age eight. And it just got more and more turbulent from there on.
How did it happen? The convergence, I guess, of a big appetite and a set of life circumstances, including a sprawling, loving family in which food was king, that let that appetite roam wide and far.
EL: As this is my Serious Diet post and I am on Martha's Vineyard writing it, I also want to ask about food binging. For Frank, like me, it was a major part of his food life for years. Many of my worst food binges over the last 25 years have taken place on this island. For various and sundry reasons I would get anxious up here and would try to quell my anxiety with a whole Mrs. Blake's pie and a pint of Häagen-Dazs vanilla ice cream.
This week, for example, I am grappling with losing our beloved Brass, which has been very tough to deal with indeed. In the old, pre-Serious Diet days, that would have been enough to send me spinning out of control, diet-wise.
(Now back to the interview)
In the book, you seem to acknowledge that you still go on (at least) mini-binges. What triggers those binges? How do you reverse course when you have already snarfed down a pint of Häagen-Dazs? I've had to pull the plug on binges and compulsive overeating completely. I guess I'm afraid that once I let the genie out of the bottle, I will never be able to put it back in again.
FB: That's interesting, that that's what you've found. I think we're all different, and one of the conclusions I came to in the book, as I try to puzzle out my own story and figure out where the lessons for other overeaters are, is that each of us has to first and foremost get to know himself or herself. What really has worked in the past, what really hasn't, what's reasonably sustainable, what's not. We all have a lot of good sound knowledge about, and advice for, ourselves if we just get brutally honest, brutally realistic.
For me, never allowing a binge becomes like water rising on one side of dam—it's going to rise too high, and lap over. But my binges now aren't like the old binges. The old binges lived up to the true meaning of that word, in that they became uncontrolled. A pint following a pizza leading into cookies and on and on.
Now it's a decided permission to do the whole pint. It's a green light to a whole roasted chicken. And it's once a month, once every three weeks, tops, preceded by, or followed quickly by, a day of really serious exercise. That compromise/bargain seems to work better for me than a dictum of no big crazy moments of food gluttony ever.
EL: So serious eaters, I ask you. Can you indulge yourself with controlled, discrete binges like Frank? Or do you have to go cold turkey when it comes to massive pig-outs, like me?
The Weigh-in
Although I haven't gone on any full-scale pie binges this week, I've had a couple of slices of Mrs. Blake's pie and some fried clams that I hope have been offset by all of my tennis-playing. Here we go: 214. Up a pound from last week. I should have played one more set of singles, I guess. But all in all, I did pretty well, I think.
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21 Comments:
i go with the binge eating on the weekends, followed by some basketball the following day. it's funny going to the gym on a monday after work, it's always packed. no one works out on friday night though!
foodinmouth at 9:17AM on 08/21/09
I have to go cold turkey for awhile to completely change my behaviour. Then I can introduce small amounts of treating myself. It also depends on the amount of exercise I'm getting at the time. If I'm getting enough I have no desire to be unhealthy. If not, it's easy to go down hill.
Phylum at 9:24AM on 08/21/09
.... one pint is too many .... and a million - not enough!
pooch at 9:37AM on 08/21/09
Eh...I to do many "punishment workouts." I don't go too overboard (whole pizza, followed by ice cream, etc.), but when I know I have eaten more than I should, I feel guilty almost immediately. Binges come in many forms, and unfortunately, balance is the hardest part of life :/
pastry262 at 9:55AM on 08/21/09
I am still in the binge stage as I am new to being 'thin'. I have found that my favorite food, cheese, is going to have to come off the table completely.
I also don't exercise as much as is considered healthy. That, I hope will change. And I have to remember that food, for me, is a substitute for another addiction I have. That said, I have been working on getting to the weight I am now at for 20 years. And I still have miles to go before I sleep.
queenbleu at 10:05AM on 08/21/09
I do binge sometimes (last one was 10 cheese ravioli, a 4 inch section of baguette w/ PB+J and 3oz cheese with crackers). I feel horrible for days after. Mad at myself, guilty for sabotaging my efforts, and ashamed. I don't think I'm capable of a controlled binge schedule.
Kerosena at 10:33AM on 08/21/09
I find that when I binge these days, I'm more likely to feel poorly afterward - usually lethargic, sometimes with acid reflux. That's generally enough to keep me from doing it. However, I'm only human. I'm not going to beat myself up when it does happen. I'll simply exercise more and get back on the "healthy lifestyle" horse.
Amandarama at 11:34AM on 08/21/09
I have mild gastroparesis, so eating too much—of ANYTHING—makes me feel really, really sick. The last time I seriously overate was back in March when my boyfriend took me out for fondue for my birthday. We were sharing and we only ate half our entree, but even so, I felt so terrible the next day that I now approach the very idea of fondue with some measure of trepidation. So if the definition of binging is eating too much, for me it's right out.
On the other hand, if you define binging as eating too many calories, I definitely have those days. The other night I was in the middle of eating a clam roll when I realized that I had been up a couple of pounds and really should have picked a healthier dinner. But the clam roll was ordered and sitting in front of me, so I merrily proceeded and just watched my calories especially carefully the next day. Some days... you just have to eat the clam roll. So to speak.
gwenkern at 11:57AM on 08/21/09
I used to do Atkins, and with that kind of diet, where so much of your loss is just water, if you binge over the weekend, you will not be able to button your pants come Monday.
Recently, I've been restricting calories and losing weight slowly, but steadily, dropping from 12 to 8 or 6 in pants size depending on the style. Losing weight slowly has involved new habits and lifestyle changes. I sometimes binge on the weekends or when there's free food at work, and go right back to my regular new eating patterns without damage.
Trilby at 12:06PM on 08/21/09
I don't really binge so much as I sometimes allow myself to eat not as healthy at a meal -- say having two slices of cheese pizza instead of one slice of veggie pizza and a large salad. I also allow myself a small treat everyday -- like a handful of potato chips, a soy latte or a small dessert, like a piece of dark chocolate. I've found it helps me keep my sanity when it comes to food and helps me keep controlled the rest of the time.
Lorena at 12:32PM on 08/21/09
I used to binge on junk throughout my teenage years and into my twenties and I can now realise it was down to low self-esteem and rebellion against the environment around me where the obsession with being thin and dieting was seen as the norm.
Since I got out of that and realised there were other places and people who didn't particularly rate thinness as a virtue, I began to incorporate exercise into my life and I developed a passion for good, healthful food. That doesn't mean I'm holier than thou...far from it but I will naturally choose to eat healthily 8 or 9 out of 10 times which doesn't lead me to wanting to binge. Once in a while, I will overindulge (especially when it comes to Indian food or the occasional cake) but I don't allow myself to get to the stage where I'll feel guilty afterwards. Been there, done that and it's not worth it.
HappyMuncher at 12:54PM on 08/21/09
When I visit my friend Marc's apartment to watch Top Chef, I inevitably consume about 1/2 a Family Size bag of plain M&Ms. The walk home to the subway is a gaseous and guilty one. We even joke that I have a Pavlovian response to his apartment--I can't walk in without suddenly craving a bucket of sugary chocolate.
Sigh.
Wayward Daughter at 2:26PM on 08/21/09
I've gained (and lost, and gained) a lot of weight without much of what most anybody would think of as binging, I think. My only real difficulty controlling my eating is potato chips. If I buy an 11 oz bag (and I do) the chances are good it's not going to be here the next day. Otherwise, I eat more than I should of things like tuna salad. Nonetheless, eating more than I should of lots of things sure does add up. Ten pounds a year is just 100 extra calories a day. And a lot of years have gone by.
lemonfair at 3:13PM on 08/21/09
while this is slightly off topic, i must say that sir bruni is quite a babe.
laurbelle2 at 4:37PM on 08/21/09
About the Bruni hype. While I'm sure he is great interest to New Yorkers he in no way had the widespread influence that Julia did. I hope you keep that in mind when you decide how many stories you devote to him and his book.
jackiecat at 8:03PM on 08/21/09
ab exercises prevents me from binging like crazy. when my abs are sore from a workout, the slight tingly pain reminds me of my hard work and prevents me from eating that second half-slice of cake. instead of the post binge exercise, i do preemptive workouts. i'll do some cardio and pilates before eating out, then i'll binge a little. if not, i won't remember to work it off later and it kinda screws up my diet.
Shr1mpch1p at 10:28PM on 08/21/09
@gwenkern-->I love that you introduced the idea of binges based on caloric value rather than food quantity. Thinking about the idea of binging (at least in a dieter's world), every high-calorie food (that I LOVE to make) comes to mind. What torture! (Plus, reflecting on the idea of a binge based on food quantity, I'm left with an image of a mixing bowl filled with iceberg--all set up for a salad binge!)
@Lorena--My thoughts EXACTLY! Like you said, indulging with little indiscretions is a much better idea. On the other hand, I think that a binge (especially for a dieter) is an awful idea. On a diet now myself, I think about those days when I'm one grain of rice away from losing my willpower...and I can't imagine I'd be able to regain any control after even a scheduled binge.
@Shr1mpch1p--Ahh, I know that ab pain! Some-days I feel my super-sore abs and walk right out of the kitchen!
For more info about my diet, check out my blog--> http://web.mac.com/orrlizzie/iWeb/Loved%20%27n%20Lost%20/Blog/Blog.html
orrlizzie at 11:33PM on 08/21/09
Removing shoulds and shouldn'ts and calorie counts from my food mindset changed this completely. I've totally lost the desire to eat when not hungry or past the point of feeling full. Occasionally I'll eat a little too much, but the mild discomfort is enough to remind me to stop sooner next time. No extra exercise or abstaining from other foods to make up for it though (unless I am craving an extra long run or just naturally less hungry) - that ruins the mindset and makes overeating seem more desirable next time.
tangledgray at 2:09PM on 08/25/09
balancing a foodie and fit lifestyle is something I'm working out too on the blogging world (aptly named Foodie Fitness: http://foodie-fitness.blogspot.com )
As for binges, frankly (pun not intended), I don't have the stomachspace for even the "whole roasted chicken" mini-binges Bruni referred to. But there are no shortage of occasions for me to indulge in larger portions and more caloric foods. Likewise, I do a trade off, if I know I'm going to indulge in a tasting menu or whatnot, I try to eat cleaner and leaner (and work out harder and longer) for the days leading up to, and following, that indulgence.
That's not to say that I bring myself to the brink of starvation and overexertion in some crazy binge-starve cycle, but just a realization that I need to bring the equation back in balance so I can stay healthy and fit while still enjoying my favorite foods.
LAOCfoodie at 2:31PM on 08/25/09
I do controlled binges as Frank describes them, once in a while. I was taught to listen to my body and respect what it requests. A couple times a year, that is a roast chicken - but I don't eat the whole thing. When it is fresh I snarf up all the crispy skin and as much breast meat as possible. The leftovers get pulled apart for future use in salads or casserole.
I also try to have "safe" binge foods and know that I can eat a certain amount of them, or less if I am satisfied. I had many food issues at one point and had to relearn to listen to my body. Sometimes I tell myself "it's OK to finish that" and then realize I don't WANT to finish it, and put the rest away. Or I do a multi-day binge, with a box of crackers or pint of ice-cream that I eat over the course of a weekend, just not all at once.
I think it's easier for me to keep on track knowing that I will be able to binge at some point. Just as now I'm going on a focused eating plan for 21 days, knowing that at the end, I have the choice to stay on it, modify it, or leave it all together. Once I started accepting that I COULD make choices about food, and that I DO make choices about food, it has all become much easier to live WITH food instead of living ABOUT food. Does that make sense?
morgancain at 7:59PM on 08/25/09
It is both ironic and appropriate that we discuss this topic in this place. I realize I have a real problem listening to my body and understanding the difference between true hunger and the desire to eat caused by having outside stimulation (reading about the best hamburger in NYC or watching Public Television food shows) or the fact that food remains on my plate. I have to take responsibility and not blame my grandmother for urging me to clean my plate. But leaving food feels bad and the potential to be "hungry later" as opposed to feeling full NOW keeps my eating beyond my true needs. I feel much better when I am eating healthy, appropriate portions, less fat, less empty calories. And I want to exercise more. But truly hearing what my body wants and differentiating that from what feels good at the time is really hard for me to discern. Really hard.
JohnFred at 4:09PM on 09/07/09