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Why I Hate 'Hell's Kitchen'

"It's an arms race of foulness."

20090721hellskitchen.jpg

Photograph from the Los Angeles Times

I’ve been an Iron Chef fan since before the Food Network wormed its way into basic cable. I’ve watched and re-watched every episode of Top Chef ever aired; Top Chef Masters, too. I’ve even gotten hooked on The Next Food Network Star.

But Hell’s Kitchen, whose sixth season premiered last night—I hate.

Even as I sit typing these words, hours after the show, I can feel myself seething with rage. It’s not only that I think that Hell’s Kitchen is a terribly crafted program. It’s that it feeds off the very worst of humanity—sure, drawing out the ugliest parts of its competitors, but getting the audience caught up in it, too.

Oh, it's not just the vulgarity—obscenities bleeped at least 15 times in the first three minutes, after which I stopped counting. It's not just the in-your-face chefs trumpeting their superiority, threatening to punch the maître d', or screaming at others for their own mistakes.

It's that the contestants, who really should be called characters, play into it, too—all trying to one-up the others, to become the nastiest, most vulgar, most extreme competitor Hell's Kitchen has ever seen. They try to out-Ramsay Ramsay, who is already unpleasant enough for an entire network's worth of television. It's an arms race of foulness.

And—the true sin, in my opinion—Hell's Kitchen has ceased to be entertaining.

  • The tension is completely manufactured. Is there suspense in watching shrimp deveined? No, and on other shows this might be a three-minute competition. But on Hell's Kitchen it's strung out over several commercial breaks, with breathless commentary, minute-by-minute recaps, and swelling INTENSITY MUSIC letting us know that something important is about to happen. If you're relying on the soundtrack to build excitement, it's because the show doesn't have it.
  • The contestants are talentless hacks. (Or at least they're made to seem that way. I was startled to see how badly Andy Husbands came off, considering I'm a fan of his restaurant, Tremont 647.) But in the heat of competition, these people can't cook. A single episode gave us raw chicken, raw scallops, raw shrimp, raw sea bass, burnt sea bass, and burnt chicken. They can't segment a grapefruit. Half of them can't devein a shrimp.
  • If they do have talent, there's never a chance to show it. In the second episode aired last night—there were two, God help us—the contestants were, per usual, entirely at Gordon's mercy, trembling line cooks fearing (or out-bitching, but we'll get to that) their obscenity-spouting overlord. With so little room for creativity, á la Top Chef, how do we get to know these characters as chefs? We don't.
  • The contestants are horrible human beings. Or, again, they're made to seem that way. But they're sexist ("Women are the best at cleaning!") and crass ("Eat a bag of shit, dude") and often borderline delusional. ("I'm the best cook here!" announced the contestant who served a pregnant woman raw shrimp). Even in their triumphant moments ("I'm psyched to go on a fuckin' yacht, bro!") they couldn't be more repellant. It's hard to watch a television show where you hate every single one of the characters. Whom does one root for?
  • The Ramsay-worship gets old, fast. Yes, he's a globally successful chef with sixteen Michelin stars to his name. One of the contestants referred to Ramsay as "the greatest chef in the world," which, on some level, we're clearly meant to accept. But that's a pretty tall claim, especially when the only skill he displays in Hell's Kitchen is the improbable endurance of his vocal cords. Even when he yells at competitors, there's rarely substantial criticism to be heard.
  • Insults aren't funny; funny insults are funny. If we learned anything from Toby Young in last season's Top Chef, it's that Brits have a knack for elaborate, scathing criticism. But Ramsay's vocabulary rarely rises above playground taunts. "Pathetic." "Dumbo." "Get your eyes checked." "Piss off." Momentarily offensive, but soon tiresome, then just fading into static.
  • It's brute conflict, not competition. Because it's never about who performs the worst—it's about who nominates them, how much they bitch beforehand, and who pisses off Gordon Ramsay. At the end of last night's episode, not only did we not find out who lost the challenge, but we didn't find out whether Joseph smacked one to Ramsay—which was, the promos promised us, the climax of the episode. In fact, it wasn't even clear why the powder-keg contestant got so up in arms. Commercial-break cliffhangers are one thing, but to not finish out a reality show episode seems like a pretty cheap ploy.

I'm well aware that Hell's Kitchen isn't intended as a skill-based cooking competition, that it's about knives clashing and curses flying. Hell's Kitchen is to Top Chef what WWE Raw is to martial arts. Perhaps I just don't understand the appeal of swearing, bickering, backstabbing pseudo-chefs wielding sharp objects. But then again, I don't like WWE Raw, either.

Postscript: My brother, also my roommate, a rabid Hell's Kitchen fan, and the reason that I'll be coerced into watching this God-awful program instead of the simultaneously-aired NYC Prep, wishes to note that not all Hell's Kitchen episodes are so riotous and crude. "Later on in the show," he says, "when all of Gordon's cannon fodder has been cleared out, the show turns from 'Who's not the worst line cook this week?' to determining who can actually design and execute a menu." Fair enough. But first impressions die hard.

51 Comments:

I totally agree. I liked the first season or two, but the formula got old really quickly. And it just seems like everything is so forced, especially Ramsey's hissy-fits.

thank you, you hit all the nails right on. this show is so blargh.
this was on last night and I was ragging on it last night when my sister put it on. Finally she said "do you think you can do better?" Right as she said that one of the contestants took a raw lamb rack and just put it in the oven without any seasoning. I said "Yes, yes i can."

I have to say that normally I watch the show and find it fairly entertaining in the train wreck kinda way. However, last night episodes were actually hard to watch and bordering on absurd. I don't know how they pick these people, like the diner cook... did he really think he was suitable for fine dining?

amen Carey! this is probably the only food-based show that i refuse to watch. after all the drama, it's not even mildly entertaining. preach!

Ahem... "'Whom' does one root for?"...

Having never watched this before last night, it seemed that unlike Top Chef, where you can have a different background as a chef and still succeed, it seems that here you can't win if you have no background as a line chef in a kitchen. The first contestant sent home seemed to have no idea about how to salvage an appetizer, they all had no idea how to get their timing right for sending dishes out, and I have no idea what was wrong with the man cooking the lamb dish that seemed to just destroy rack after rack of lamb to send out something that was awful.

I was really wishing for them to send multiple people home - Accidentally freezing the salmon was a mistake, but to me not nearly as bad as taking a 45 minute break in the middle of service, or fighting with the waiters, or serving raw chicken, or not knowing how to season lamb, or cut a grapefruit, or when to fire an entree of scallops, etc... For the show, the contestants seem to lack any of the necessary skills, and when you listen to them talk to the camera, they seem to lack any sense of perspective as to how under qualified they actually are. Overall, a pretty awful show for actually seeing if people can cook.

The weird thing is Gordon Ramsey has a bunch of shows that air on BBC-A and he's really different! I mean, there's still some crass insults and cursing but it's much more toned down and bearable. I've watched both the American and British version of the show where he makes over failing restaurants and he's so much better (nicer, more helpful) on the British version. I wonder how much of it is expressly for the "American" taste profile. Weird!

@djwackfriz: You caught me. Sometimes my angry side gets in the way of my copy-editing side.

@smackrabbit: I agree completely; it's not just that they can't cook, it's that they don't know they can't cook. Arrogance is worse than incompetence, in my book.

Yes indeed. Happening on it last night, after missing a few months, I noted that the show's trajectory had moved in oh-so-predictable directions. The original approach of throwing in one or two psychologically iffy contestants just to stir things up had morphed into a conscious policy of recruiting people with obvious personality disorders; cooking skills had regressed from actual to token to completely imaginary; and the bleeping had become virtually continuous. This much is clear: First, the producers won't give up till they've delivered an on-camera murder and/or fatal heart attack, and second, anyone foolish enough to eat food produced in such a poisonous atmosphere would run the risk of considerable spiritual, if not physical, damage.

As much as Hell's Kitchen might be a terrible show, I can't imagine NYC prep is a much better option anyhow. I cringe when I think about that show.

I'm sick of the whole "vote someone off" genre of reality TV in general. I'd rather watch Gordon cook a meal (Shirtless! Wait, what? Sorry about that.) than yell and scream at a bunch of people milking their 15 minutes of fame.

I agree with your points but how do you write an entire post without looking up the spelling of Gordon Ramsay's last name? It totally kills your credibility.

I hate how American television has portrayed Gordon Ramsey. While I understand he is an intense individual, I also know he cares a great deal about the culinary arts.

For example, take Restaurant Nightmares. The BBC version shows Gordon working with owners in a very compassionate manner. He looks to genuinely care about the people. Sure, he has raised his voice at the owners when they don't get it, but he certainly does not scream or berate them. Contrast the BBC version with the Fox version - Ramsey screams at the restaurant owners. I hate it. I love the BBC show, had to stop watching Fox.

OK - Ramsey has some involvement in this because he's letting Fox and Co 'script' him like that, but still.

Leeber & mikebmassey are right--you should check out Ramsey's shows on BBC America. If I had an ailing restaurant, I'd want his help, as long as it was for the BBC version. The American version of Ramsey's character is awful.

I watched last night's shows and was really appalled by how Gordon was being so arrogant. I don't have cable TV but last night's episodes were enough to get me to start looking to get it. The personalities of the contestants were awful and just seemed to feed Gordon's wrath no end. Neither team seemed to know what they were doing and I am so surprised to find that Andy owns his own restaurant! I have watched the American version of Kitchen Nightmares and Gordon is pretty brutal there, too. I don't think the Brits take too much too foul language. Says something about us Americans doesn't it.

I'm not sure I should be listening to someone who would rather watch NYC Prep

If only they could combine Wipeout with this trainwreck.. otherwise, Un.Watch.Able.

I find myself drawn to the show, like watching a car-wreck on the side of the road. Sometimes, I just wish they could find competent people to work the line!!! The women couldn't get a single appetizer dish out!! But I guess that's there whole appeal -- watching the total failure of these cooks.

I look at this show as boot camp for would-be chefs and Gordon is the drill instructor. Perhaps, if any of you have experienced the abuse of military basic training, his treatment of them would be no big thing (and, for us, there was no "pot-of-gold" waiting for anyone at the end of it).

The editors have everything to do with our perceptions and these guys are the heart of the show. It's no different than other "reality" shows. Just as there are experts to choose a jury, the casting folks on these shows (hopefully) make sure the contestants are going to be interesting to the viewers. They may even be told the "role" the director/producer sees for them. One thing I'm pretty sure of though is that the "action" scenes aren't scripted because I doubt whether any of them could be that good an actor.

Personally, I watch all of the Hell's Kitchens, Nightmares, Bourdain shows, TNFNS, Iron Chef, and even the Bizarre Zimmern. I enjoy them all as I do Survivor, Amazing Race, and American Idol. The DVR makes it all possible and the fact that I don't get to as many car wrecks and bar fights as I used to makes it necessary. To each his own!

You know why these kinds of shows keep coming up? People watch them and talk about them.

Shows are like any business -- if people stop watching or talking about them, they will eventually go away.

I thought the commercial for "More to Love" was pretty awesome...

I watched 5 min. of the show and had a head ache. Why would you want to watch people yelling, arguing, and getting upset? Maybe if you come from a verbally abusive home you are used to that but I'm not. It was stressful and not enjoyable at all to listen to them yell and swear.

BOOO - ERRRNS!

I love Hells Kitchen and Mr. Ramsay!
I mean: it's a kitchen drama to the extreme. Some like it and some don't.

I do. Dearly :D

Thank you, thank you, thank you, for so clearly articulating these thoughts; so far I've only been able to throw up my hands in digust and go "UUUUUUUUGH"

I think Hell's Kitchen is a reality show set in a restaurant. It is definitely not a cooking show. Its a crossover and cannot quite connect to the foodie audience. Maybe it connects with Jerry Springer's audience. lol.

In defense of Hell's Kitchen.
Have servered my time in the kitchen and as a server, you get a lot of crap cooking. So I understand they may be good, but the pressure of having to cook is the key element of the show. Either you can cook great all the time or you crack under pressure. So while I understand the dislike I still related to it. I have wanted to yell many times at people cooking my food! And yes I serverd under a chef just like him. Throwing, yelling and cursing. But the food always was good to the customers.

@trese41 - maybe but I think its' more of a back-of-house audience. I know the kitchen environment but Hate Jerry Springer (LOL I see where you're going tho)

...@robertm73 - my sentiments as well. I'ts quite a real situation so-to-speak ahaha

Carey--

Never apologize for good grammar, my friend! It warmed the cockles of my English-maven heart to see you using objective case correctly in "Whom does one root for?" Hardly anyone is left who knows how to do this right, so hold your head high. (IMHO it's conceivable that @djwackfriz was commenting on the perceived elitism of your grammar prowess rather than correcting you).

Caution, boring grammatical explanation of above comment ahead; read on at your own risk: You would say "I'm rooting for him," right? Not *"I'm rooting for he." So when you replace the objective case personal pronoun "him" with the relative pronoun to form the question, the new pronoun maintains the case of the old. And so we get "Whom does one root for?"

Shouldn't it be, "For whom does one root?"

(just kidding.)

Oh how sick am I of all miserable reality shows wherein abuse and vile behaviour are the norm. I can't bear Chef Ramsay and his posse of miscreants any longer.

I want to go on a picnic with Nigella!

hate this show as well but i still kinda love Gordon. That being said, what I mean is that I love watching him on BBC America. I love Kitchen Nightmares as well as The F Word. It might have a lot to do with the producers or directors there vs. here because he comes off different. Yes he's still vulgar and arrogant, but somehow sexier........its so weird that he doesn't translate - I totally blame the producers.

I watched Hell's Kitchen for the first time last night and wow was I unimpressed. I didn't realize the contestants were supposed to have talent - I felt like I was watching that show where Chef Jeff trying to teach kids who have gone down the wrong path in life to have a future in the culinary world.

You seriously need to watch Masterchef (goes large), Masterchef Pro, and Masterchef Australia. What's amazing is how the Australians can stretch Masterchef into 72 episodes in a season, and yet keep it interesting and food centric. The first few episodes of Masterchef Australia are weak, but once the contestants are chosen it smooths out.

All of them are FAR FAR FAR FAR better than any incarnation of Hell's Kitchen, of which the latest USA one is the worst.

You can find Masterchef Australia here Masterchef Australia

The UK Masterchef can be found in assorted other places (unfortunately none of which include any American stations).

Well...I could not WAIT until the new season started but was very disappointed as well with all the inept contestants who seem to think they are "Julia Childs" and are the best in their business only to find out that they actually stink at it! The cursing has gotten way out of hand...the attitudes of the contestants reminds me of my childhood at home (not a good thing) and no one seems to be learning anything from Chef Ramsey. I don't think at this point that ANYONE is qualified to win at the end of this contest and if they do...it's only because SOMEONE has to win...that's the name of the game, right? Hope Chef Ramsey sees these comments and changes his show to where there are contestants like in the 1st and 2nd shows, people who WANT to win and actually have cooking some skills. Not some foul-mouthed, in-your-face, lazy good-for-nothing fat asses (why don't these people DIET for god's sakes?) Where's IS your pride? Overweight is okay...but morbidly obese? Disgusting to look at. And stopping work in the middle to have FOUR bottles of water? With THAT attitude? Can you just IMAGINE them being in charge as head chef at a prestigious restaurant? Can you? Of course not show is NOT believable. And it doesn't look like it's going to be any better next week with the fire. Just more drama.

And the "Keystone Cops" had more control over themselves than this group of losers.

I won't watch another episode if this doesn't change. Entertainment? I think not!

If you're stuck with network as I am, I'd much rather watch a show that's kinda about cooking that yet another cop/lawyer drama or the soap opera spinoff of a soap opera about doctors or reruns of eveybody loves raymond...

hehe I'm not afraid to admit I kinda love Hell's Kitchen. Didn't know this season already started and just stayed up super late watching the premiere on hulu. Laughed out loud through the whole thing!

It's kinda like Wipeout. Watch it when you are feeling cranky. Just good ole fashion comic relief. :)

I enjoy Hell's Kitchen. I'm not a fan of the vulgarity, fake drama, and bad cuts. I like the show because of the contestants. There are always a few strong cooks, normally silent until they have to speak out, that are worth watching.

Hell's Kitchen is skill based. But it challenges the contestants to do more than just cook. They have to prove they can cook, can work at any station in a brigade, they can work with anyone, they can run a brigade, they can create their own dishes, and finally they can run a brigade serving their menu. They are given very little support. The victories tend to be time away from the kitchen, while the punishments revolve around the boring, hard, and repetitive tasks in the kitchen.

I LOVE Hell's Kitchen. No apologies. Yes, I guess I am entertained by seeing people FAIL, and I enjoy watching people getting cursed out. (I come from a conflict averse family, so I think it's therapuetic.) Throw in some sharp knives, and what's not to like! Maybe they could move the show one step further into absurdity by doing it American Idol style and have America call in votes.

Not sure if this has been addressed in prior posts, but, yesterday (7/26/09), the New York Daily News ran an article about Danny Veltri, last year's Hell's Kitchen winner. Seems Danny does NOT have his own restaurant in the Borgatta. He is currently working as a sous chef for Stephen Kalt in a restaurant in Atlantic City, NJ. Instead of building a new restaurant for Veltri, the Atlantic City landmark turned to master chef Stephen Kalt and asked him to take some existing space and turn it into a new eatery. Fornelletto opened earlier this month. And Veltri was hired as one of Kalt's SOU-CHEFS.

I just recently went on this rant with someone too. As a professionally trained chef, I resent Gordon't treatment of the contestants. This is how training used to be in the kitchen, you'd get screamed at, treated poorly and abused. Chefs were treated like servants who were property to be abused (I guess if you like to abuse your belongings.) During the 60's and 70's the status of a chef was elevated to be a profession. Ramsey's behavior brings the profession back decades. Why would the public want to watch people be abused? I just don't get it? Why would anyone think Ramsey's behavior would be motivating? This is a horrible show that promotes behaving in an ugly manner to completely demean others.

Watching Hells Kitchen has also become very painful for me. I could literally feel my blood pressure rising during the show. It is a sad statement when GR feels that this is the sort of reality tv that Americans want to watch....and he is probably right about a good portion of the population. I missed the first season of HK, caught it a few months ago on the Reality TV cable station....it's amazing how much more laid back GR was....not as much screaming and insulting.....kinder, gentler and nicer. I guess Fox told him that's not what Americans want to see.

Let's focus on what a fraud Gordon Ramsey really is. He has the gaul to position himself as the master culinary entreprenuer precisely as his restaurant empire teetered towards bankruptcy. He and his father-in-law were humbled into ponying up millions to gain some forebearance from their creditors. I wouldn't be surprised if all of Gordon's net proceeds from these TV programs goes to support the restaurants. But it doesn't look like many of the contestants could balance their own chequebooks so perhaps the real agenda of the show is to clone some more Gordon Ramseys for the World. Has anyone asked us if that is what we need? Perhaps the next series will be a cook-off of competing bankruptcy attorneys vying for Gordo's business.

While I have watched his show in the past,I don't any longer for the simple reason that his vocal rants are getting more and more frequent, more intense and more personal. You can only tell some one that they are stupid, dumb or to piss off so many times before they reach the breaking point. As each season progresses, the verbal barrage gets more intense and belittling. Usually with no outward rationale for it (as far as we can see) on any given show one particuar chef is in the line for fire for that particular day, sometimes for several that follow depending on that chefs reaction to the ire of GR.The pattern seems to emerge that he takes a disliking to one chef or another and then rides and berates them until they crack and end up leaving the show. Tell me to piss off once, maybe twice, I'd blow it off; call me stupid and criticise my skill set without telling me why; I'd chalk it off because of who it came from but to do it week after week?? Sorry, but my redheaded, Scots-Irish temper just might get the better of me and I'd wind up giving GR a set too like he'd not seen before. THEN I'd hand him my jacket and run, not walk out the door and not give it a moments pause of regret beyond the fact that I allowed my self to get into that situation in the first place. No one, regardless of their skill set deserves to be belittled and treated the way he treats those contestants, no one.

This is Fox formula reality television. It's all in the editing!!! But when the shock value wears off, it's all the same recycled nonsense. I've found that the ONLY way I would ever consider watching Hell's Kitchen is to DVR it ahead of time---give it at least a 15 minute head start--so I can fast forward through all of the "cliff-hangers" through all the commercials and back.
I'm a bit surprised at the "Prize" this year--running a restaurant in Canada for the Olympics? Then what? Strange that they're not handing out money as a prize anymore, isn't it? Maybe I'll just watch re-runs of Top Chef-Masters--it's a pleasure to watch REAL chefs compete (without all of the nastiness and venom).

it's nothing but entertainment don't you people get it. you watch rachele, paula, and alike they are not chefs they are celebrity's that sell cook books. they can't cook anything without being taught how on camera. carey jones don't watch any more hell's kitchen because you don't get it because your a total ass hole NOW PISS OFF.

I like it. I watch it. It's not a cooking show. Recipes... anyone!!! Without making it more than it is, it's a show about what ordinary people think passes as character on TV. We see the proud, fall, the humble, survive, the talented, excell, etc, etc.

The show was mildly entertaining the first few seasons with the obvious head cases and reality show wannabes populating the show. (Dewberry still remains a family favorite with his Scarlet O'Hara-like wilting and getting the vapors.)

Now, it's just profanity laced shouting and dumb posturing. Curious that anyone watches considering the current job situation in the country and Ramsay as the tyrannical boss. Who needs that?

Ramsey is just a bully. He wouldn't talk the way he does to anyone if there wasn't a camera crew around. What a hack.

couldn't disagree more... love Hell's Kitchen and find Ramsay to be more "passion" than bully (he grows on you). i'm not just a fan of this show, but also his F-Word show on BBC America. the more you watch him the more you realize that he has a sincere love of food and his "edge" comes more from being frustrated when others don't treat the craft with as much care and respect as he feels it deserves.

back to Hell's Kitchen, though... i find it to be diverting, fun and entertaining. characters make interesting viewing, and the rag-tag group of people they select (some admittedly with little or no culinary skill selected only for their "entertainment value" as true incompetents) make the show interesting to watch for me. admittedly this show isn't so much about cooking as, say, Top Chef, but that said, i find Hell's Kitchen way more entertaining. a guilty, guilty pleasure, i know...

First of all,
Intensity is any any kitchen even a wing joint. In HK it is amplified.
Talent, well put any person in a new kitchen and have them cook food for a chef they never worked for with people they never worked for and a menu they never learned well, if that's a sign of a hack then your standards are pretty high.
Showing off talent, that's what challenges and dealing with ambiguity during service is for.
Contestants are horrible, your watching Fox a channel that every other show is more cras then the contestants, look at Family Guy even the baby is an a@##hole.
Ramsey is one of the best chefs in the world but it's true he shows no talent on this show.
Insults are they same each year and they do get old.
Conflict is played out in all reality shows.

HerbyN at 7:34AM on 08/06/09


You nailed it. I agree exactly with everything you said.

This show is my little guilty F**king pleasure.

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