I am on Martha's Vineyard, where pies seem to be baked on every corner. I can get my pie fix from Mrs. Blake's, The Black Dog Bakery, Little Rock Farms, The Scottish Bakehouse, Fiddlehead Farm, The Old Stone Bakery, Just Pie, Morning Glory Farms, Garcia's, and literally too many other places to mention. I happen to be partial to Mrs. Blake's, because of her flaky crusts and her fruity, not goopy, fillings, but I am not slavishly devoted to her 8-inch round beauties.
So faced with this plethora of pies this July 4th weekend I am going to embark on an admittedly gimmicky, some would say radical, others would say ridiculous and silly, one-day diet of just pie.
Stay with me here. Let me do the math.
According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, a slice of apple pie, one-sixth of an 8-inch pie, has 280 calories. So if I consume six slices, an entire apple pie in the course of a day, chased down by nothing but water and seltzer, I will be ingesting 1680 calories. That will allow me to have a slice of pie for breakfast at 9 a.m., a slice and a half for lunch at 12:30 p.m., a slice for a snack at 3:30 p.m., a slice and a half for dinner at 6:30 p.m. and a final evening snack slice at 9:30 p.m.
This sounds like a plan that could actually work, not as a steady diet, but just as a grand, one-day, serious diet stress-buster. And if I play tennis or go on a long bike ride, that will knock off at least one piece of pie's worth of calories from my daily count, and maybe more. So my calorie intake for the day might be 1400 calories or fewer.
If it works, I might do this once a month. Let's call it the Serious Diet Pie Flush or the Serious Pie Cleanse. Maybe I can get Gwyneth Paltrow to try it with me. She's always talking about flushes and cleanses.
The week has been chock full of challenges. Italian breakfasts, lunches, and dinners at Locanda Verde, burnt ends at RUB, and a most excellent Sal and Carmine's pizza. Interim weigh-ins have not been encouraging. Here we go: 213. Up three from last week. I'm not going to get too discouraged. I had a big weight drop two weeks ago and it feels like my body is seeking a new weight equilibrium. Should I rethink my pie cleanse? I don't know.