Video: Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals for America After Visiting Denny's
President Barack Obama had such high hopes for America...until he went to Denny's. Now he's aiming less for being a world leader and setting more reasonable goals for the American people:
Before we reclaim global leadership, we must first stop eating six sausages and a pound of eggs covered in syrup for breakfast, and we must stop leaving the house in sweatpants.
Is he asking for too much? Would you be willing to give up your mountainous plate of syrup-drenched sausages and eggs? Only time will tell. Watch the video after the jump.
Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny's, from 'The Onion'
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12 Comments:
Mmmmm... pound of eggs covered in syrup. *drool*
Thomasj at 1:55PM on 06/10/09
Absolutely brilliant.
bessfour at 1:59PM on 06/10/09
I am too damned old to try eating at Denny's. I spent a year trying to get a cup of coffee out of the last one I visited.
Grumpy Old Man at 2:08PM on 06/10/09
lol got to love the Onion
Edwardkimuk at 2:36PM on 06/10/09
Yes, my first encounter with a Denny's two or three years back could have inspired this. I still can't believe the breakfast they put in front of me. Just... the excess, it was atrocious. Figured out that obesity problem in about three seconds.
Six days in a row we had to go there for breakfast. By the third day, a coworker and I were ordering one breakfast and sharing it. And they thought WE were weird.
By the fifth day, I was sick of restaurant food and desperate for fruit. A fruit salad, an apple, whatever. My fruit choices at Dennys? Apple sauce, or the dusty grapes sitting on the counter. I ordered the apple sauce, but he wouldn't let me, because that's only for putting on pancakes. So I got pancakes with apple sauce.
kevster at 3:01PM on 06/10/09
I love the article they did on Obama with the title of "Black man travels the country asking for change." or something like that.
I wonder if there are people that actually eat a big Denny's grand slam or whatever everyday.
wunami at 5:25PM on 06/10/09
No, there aren't Americans who eat that sort of thing every day. However, the Onion ought to consider spoofing how the president expends vast amounts of carbon, flying pizza chefs across the country just so he can have a nosh, his wife flies to London just for fish and chips and to see the Lion King. Heating his office and living quarters up into the high 70s, and then criticizing poor citizens who can't afford to purchase food and keep a roof over their heads, because he's outsourcing their jobs. There are tent cities in each of our fifty states, there are two in one town in my state, where families (citizens) barely survived the winter.
Why aren't the Onion asking the pres where all that stimulus money transparency is, as we're concerned that he's doing a Mugabe on us. Why he's planning on leaving our troops in Iraq for 10 years, and how we can continue giving our billions in foreign aid, when we have to borrow the money from China (a wealthy country that likes to hide behind claims that it's only a , "developing" nation.. that is when it isn't strip mining and over fishing Africa.
Mares at 6:39PM on 06/10/09
@wunami: I doubt anyone could eat a Grand Slam every day—unless you were Michael Phelps or Lance Armstrong or something. I usually only do Grand Slams on road trips.
Adam Kuban at 7:23PM on 06/10/09
Many American Pro Wrestlers who are currently doing a tour of Japan call Denny's home. Those guys can put away some food, but they burn an insane amount of calories both training and in the ring.
Personally, I think Denny's is nasty lol.
Carnal at 9:41PM on 06/10/09
@ wunami: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/black_guy_asks_nation_for_change
Also notable for foodies, at 1:44, the news ticker reports that Earth's Atmosphere Now 1% Corn Syrup.
shoneyjoe at 4:07AM on 06/11/09
I can only imagine what he'd say after visiting a Wal-Mart...
daveandcat at 2:23PM on 06/11/09
Mares is right! Why aren't we getting more serious journalism out of The Onion?
Cupajo at 4:54PM on 06/13/09