Ed Levine's Serious Diet, Week 73: Sometimes Only Dark Chocolate Malted Milk Balls Will Do: What's Your Weakness?
I learned once again this past week that falling off the serious diet wagon is still way too easy for me. It was Father's Day, in the evening, 10 p.m. to be exact. We had just finished a seriously delicious and reasonably sized Vietnamese take-out meal from Saigon Grill. I had stopped ordering from SG when a lawsuit was filed on behalf of its delivery people, alleging shockingly low pay and long hours forced on them by SG's owners. When a jury came back awarding the delivery staff $4.6 million dollars, I knew that I could once again order from Saigon Grill. The pork chops were great, the crystal shrimp dumplings even better, and even though the bo luc lac (char-grilled and marinated steak cubes) was a little dry, all was right with the world.
Except for one thing. It was Father's Day and I felt I was entitled to some ice cream for dessert. Said ice cream would most definitely come with toppings, which would be chosen during my leisurely walk through the Fairway aisles. I announced to Vicky and Will that I was headed out to Fairway and that I would be returning with everyone's favorite ice cream.
When I left the house I thought I was in complete control. How wrong was I? Let's count the ways.
Will had asked for chocolate chip cookie dough and Vicky for coffee heath bar crunch. For my own ice cream flavor I was going to improvise, Alice Waters-style, depending on what looked best in the Fairway ice cream department that day.
I ended up with a pint of Haagen Dazs Five brown sugar ice cream. With the ice creams in my basket, awaiting their partner toppings, I headed for the nuts and chocolate shelves. I took a jar of Scharffenberger dark chocolate ganache and put it in my basket, but then I decided that was too decadent, so I put it back.
I was patting myself on the back for avoiding the toppings trap as I waited on the express checkout line. I was at the front waiting for the checkout line straw boss to yell "Next on 2!" when some dark chocolate Marcona almonds caught my eye. Don't those sound good? They did to me, so a package went straight to my basket. As did their fraternal twin, some dark chocolate malted milk balls. Oh, baby. I wanted to put them back, to be content with each of us having our very own ice cream flavor. Surely that would be enough. But it wasn't.
I bought everything home. We each got out our pints. Vicky and Will were content to eat the ice cream without the toppings. Not me. I crushed a couple of malted milk balls and topped my bowl of seriously delicious brown sugar ice cream with them. Ditto for the dark chocolate Marcona almonds. It was clear to me that I was out of control. Father's Day had unleashed the food demons in me.
Vicky came to my rescue. She swept up the bowls of serious chocolate-covered deliciousness and put them away. She announced, "I'm giving these to my assistant tomorrow. Nothing good will come of them otherwise."
She was right. I got on Thinner on Monday and I had gained three pounds, up to 212. Thank God it was only Monday.
The Weigh-In
The remaining days of the week were a little better. By Thursday I was down to 210, so I have a shot this morning. Here we go: 210. Up a pound for the week, but the previous week had been a big leap downward, so over-all I'm feeling good. I dodged a chocolate-covered malted milk ball bullet.
The moral of this tale of whoa: Look out for the dark chocolate-covered malted milk balls and Marcona almonds. They will get you every time. What gets you every time, serious eaters.
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23 Comments:
I'd kill for the dark chocolate / chili Lindt bar! Seriously. I would commit murder if that chocolate told me to.
conky at 9:11AM on 06/26/09
Bread, butter and cheese, any cheese. If its a good loaf of bread, it will just disappear before I can stop to think about not eating it all. Somehow, the butter and cheese come along for the ride everytime. Its for the same reasons that you would never see an open bag of Doritos or a half eaten pint of ice cream in my apartment.
mediocrepop at 9:21AM on 06/26/09
i have a sort of similar tale: yesterday i baked a huge batch of chocolate chip cookies to give to a colleague who had a birthday and to a little boy who was graduating from therapy. i managed to actually put together the dough, age it, and bake it without tasting a single bit, gave everyone their cookies, watched them being eaten, and listened to the various moans and compliments without having one myself.
but i confess i had kept some back, but had stuck them in the freezer. last night i couldn't help it -- i ate three. completely frozen.
{i still can't believe i didn't eat the entire container, which i could so easily have done.}
it's really true that if there isn't anything naughty to eat in the house, it's so much easier to stick with your resolve!
cybercita at 9:27AM on 06/26/09
TJ's chocolate peanut butter cups. Dark chocolate covered espresso beans - I should know better than to take those into the movie theater. Costco carries these amazing dark chocolate covered pomegranite seeds that I can put away way too fast. Peanut Butter & Co.'s Dark Chocolate Dreams peanut butter. Wait, I think I'm seeing a pattern here. Bread, cheeses, and ice cream can all get me too on any given day.
kimberlymac at 9:39AM on 06/26/09
i too have have a recent weakness for the Haagan Dazs 'five' flavors - seems like it's at least somewhat good for you because it's so 'natural'. ha. i was really excited about the brown sugar flavor - but it left something to be desired - probably dark chocolate malted milk balls! try the mint flavor - pure heaven.
emoelely at 9:43AM on 06/26/09
My weakness is cheese. Any kind of cheese. Good French Brie if I am loaded with cash, processed American if not. I have lost 40 pounds in the past year and still have cheese at least three times a week. In fact, last night it was Caraway Havariti with Nabisco Thin Crisps. I balance it out by having six crackers with cheese instead of the whole wedge of cheese and a loaf of bread like I used to do.
I find that a taste works just as well as eating the entire thing. Who knew that was the way to eat in the first place?
queenbleu at 9:50AM on 06/26/09
Bread of all kinds and chocolate of all kinds. I find myself rationalizing overeating both when I prepare them (or dishes made from them) from scratch. I have actually been known to nibble raw bread dough. (Hey - sometimes when you're kneading a little piece might just fly right into your mouth! It can't be helped!)
Yesterday at noon I made dark chocolate pudding. It was gone before bed. 4 servings, my (ever-expanding) butt...
mollykate678 at 10:17AM on 06/26/09
What gets me every time is food shopping. If it's not in the house, I'm fine. If I go to the store, it's all over for me! Way too much there that I want, not need, even if I stick to the edges (where the chicken wing bar beckons, along with the sushi bar, the lobster salad, the stuffed mushrooms, the baguettes...).
kdjmom3 at 10:37AM on 06/26/09
My weakness is food. And potato chips. Even stale ones.
JudyH at 10:56AM on 06/26/09
I was going to die earlier this week if I didn't eat a grilled peanut-butter-and-banana sandwich. Buttered Italian bread, crunchy peanut butter, grilled in a cast iron skillet with another on top to weigh it down (I like my sandwiches flat, for some reason). So, so good, especially when I paired it with some dark chocolate with sea salt.
RunningWithScissors at 11:53AM on 06/26/09
Breakfast pastries of any sort pretty much. Donuts, danishes, muffins, sconse..I want to eat them all and could easily, and have done so in the past, downed half a dozen in a flash.
FrostyGhost at 12:51PM on 06/26/09
Oh ED its fathers day...you're allowed to cheat! And the dark chocolate Marcona almonds??? oh thats a close one.
but CHEESE is my real weakness; I've convinced myself (somehow) that this is okay to over-indulge with!
hungrychristel at 1:38PM on 06/26/09
Bread. I just ate a slice of pizza bianca from sullivan street bakery, since I was in that part of town. I had to stop myself from buying one of their loaves because I know I'd eat it all. I bought rolls instead. Sensible dinner, sensible dinner, or at least that's what I tell myself.
Aynsl156 at 2:15PM on 06/26/09
fast food. its so wrong in every way. its cheap, tawdry wrappers call my name. and sometimes they win.
aprilring at 3:02PM on 06/26/09
Bacon. Gotta have it or I'll just keep thinking about it. So I give myself permission to get 4 slices from the deli before work on Fridays. And work extra hard at the gym on Saturday morning.
I find that as soon as I decide to completely avoid something, that's all I want, carbs, fat, sugar, whatever. So I give myself permission to have a little of anything I want, and it's working. Because I go to the gym.
RhondaB at 3:57PM on 06/26/09
i am addicted to dark chocolate with almond/ peanut/ cashew butter spread on top of it. a very thick spread. and i can't seem to not eat half the bar. with 2 tablespoons of nut butter. this had led to a gain of 5 pounds in the last month!!!!!
chocolate being the theo madagascar bar, or endangered bat bar, or scharffen berger bittersweet, or ikea's el cheapo one. help.
teatime at 4:06PM on 06/26/09
French Fries...in fact...must have some now.
RJ Foodie at 5:40PM on 06/26/09
Oh, it's definitely processed carbs for me -- like bread ( I ♥ toast!), pasta, rice and potato chips. When it comes to everything else, I can pretty much limit myself. But, oh, the delicious carbs keep calling my name!
Lorena at 5:45PM on 06/26/09
What gets me everytime???? Buffalo wings, pizza, jerky, and vodka. Not all together of course :)
vadm130 at 6:03PM on 06/26/09
Soup, low calorie but loaded with sodium, my body's demon. Just a little of someone elses or canned soup and I have at least 3 pounds added and day or two of protien and starvation ahead of me to get it back off. Unfortunately, the calling of a steaming hot bowl of most any soup is most of the time too tempting for me to pass up.
DCLSweetspot at 8:12PM on 06/26/09
For me, it's cookies. But only very good cookies from a bakery or homemade. Not Oreos, not even Pepperidge Farm.
Ed, there's a "diet" out there that allows you to have the treats without guilt: www.nosdiet.com. Here's the whole plan in just a few words:
No snacks, no sweets, no seconds except sometimes on days that start with an S (Saturday, Sunday, Special days such as birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, etc).
IndyGal at 6:42AM on 06/27/09
@JudyH - I absolutely LOVE how the phrasing in your post indicates that potato chips are not food!! Hilarious, and maybe a little accurate! ;)
mollykate678 at 11:16AM on 06/28/09
Ed, you are such an inspiration for putting yourself out there like this. There is nothing like having someone to relate to your real life struggles. Thanks so much.
mycherrypie at 12:37AM on 07/01/09