Giant Cheetos vs. Regular Cheetos
"Giant orange balls are here, Robyn!" exclaimed Adam.
...Huh? I had no idea what he was talking about. And then he showed me the contents of the package and it all made sense. Kind of.
The mystery package contained two bags of Giant Cheetos in regular and "Flaming Hot" flavors. The bags made it seem like the corn-based snacks inside would be the size of baseballs. Never before had I thought, "Man, I wish this Cheetos puff were larger," while eating a regular-sized Cheetos, but now that I held such a product in my hands, I felt mildly excited.
Receiving the package on April 1 made it seem like a joke, but the bags were actually filled with edible substances. So how giant is Giant Cheetos? Find out after the jump.
Thank you to mouth model Erin Zimmer.
It's pretty big, about the same size and shape of a regular marshmallow. So in the marshmallow world, it is normal sized; in the cheese puff world, it is a fat monster.
Does bigger mean better? Not necessarily. Here's my comparison of Giant Cheetos to three of its diminutive counterparts (actually, they're not that much smaller; they're just not spherical).
Giant Cheetos
Shape: Marshmallow-sized ball. A fine shape for something soft and slightly chewy—like a marshmallow—but awkward and ultimately uncomfortable when the substance is dry, crunchy corn matter. Methinks there's a reason that cheese snacks larger than bite-sized tend to have a stick-like shape; it's easier to eat that way.
"It's a ball you can eat," said Frito-Lay marketing guru Ann Mukherjee to USA Today, likening it to the stress-relieving properties of a stress ball. I'm not sure eating a crunchy ball is a fair comparison to squeezing a round, squishy object.
Texture: Porous and too hard. I imagine this is what eating a ball of Styrofoam is like. The skin inside my mouth felt sore after being repeatedly scraped by Cheetos shards. Admittedly, I probably ate too many of them.
Nutrition Facts: Per ounce, has the least calories (150), sodium (250mg), and fat (10g), and most carbohydrate (17g) of the four types of Cheetos.
Overall: The least enjoyable of the four.
Regular Cheetos
Shape: Craggly, skinny non-uniform stick. This is my optimal cheese curl shape.
Texture: Less porous than the Giant and not as hard. Satisfyingly crunchy.
Nutrition Facts: (per ounce) calories, 160; fat, 10g; sodium, 290mg; carbohydrate, 13g
Overall: My favorite of the four.
Cheetos Puff
Shape: A smile-shaped log.
Texture: Soft and airy. Not much crunch, just kinda disintegrates in your mouth and then sticks to your teeth.
Nutrition Facts: (per ounce) calories, 160; fat, 10g; sodium, 350mg; carbohydrate, 13g
Overall: Kind of a different beast from regular Cheetos, but better than Giant.
Cheetos Swirl
Shape: A coil. In turn this could remind you of a well-swirled cone of soft serve. Or dog poop.
Texture: Even softer and airier than the puff. Kind of chalky.
Nutrition Facts: (per ounce) calories, 160; fat, 10g; sodium, 350mg; carbohydrate, 13g
Overall: Great if you like foods that are shaped like coils. I assume this appeals to kids or something.
Closing Thoughts
I don't want to eat Cheetos again for a long time. The Giant Cheetos gave me some sort of Cheetos hangover.
I'll take this opportunity to give a shout-out to my favorite childhood cheese puff: Barbara's Bakery Original Cheese Puffs. Not to say that eating a bag of that wouldn't make me feel gross either, but at least they're not fluorescent orange.
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41 Comments:
<3 cheetos puffs + diet coke
Grace Kang at 10:56AM on 04/03/09
Most of the flavor is on the outside, isn't it? Wouldn't it make more sense to make them smaller and thus improve the yum-to-styrofoam ratio?
kaares at 11:36AM on 04/03/09
Not a bad size, but they ought to be softball-sized and about 3 in a bag. Reminds me of my disappointment in the "Mega" M&Ms. I was hoping for an M&M that was so big you needed to hold it with both hands, like a hamburger. They're only just slightly bigger then regular M&Ms.
Merkin at 11:37AM on 04/03/09
i LUB cheetos. (chili and cheetos... try it!) My favorite thing is mildly stale puffy cheetos-- you know when they're kinda chewy. Look forward to trying these.
VioletCrumble at 12:33PM on 04/03/09
Thats disappointing. I was hoping you'd open the bag to find one enormous Cheeto.
ESNY1077 at 12:34PM on 04/03/09
Ah, but think of all the mock high class possibilities now!
Slice off a small portion of the bottom to give you a flat stand for it to sit on and then with a melon baller, scoup out a portion of it.
Mix together salsa, cilantro, cream cheese with the scooped cheato and pipe it back in. Wham, bam, thank you mam.
You have yourself a low rent down south cheese bouche!
Chef Colin at 12:50PM on 04/03/09
Puffs are perfectly fine in size, shape, and flavor. I hate the Crunchy variety and the Swirls are too big. Although I wish there were Flamin' Hot Puffs, instead of the nasty Crunchy ones. :(
Cassaendra at 1:17PM on 04/03/09
No comment on the strangely, nay, frighteningly, addictive qualities of "Flamin' Hot'?
jccvi at 1:22PM on 04/03/09
@kaares: I think you're showing them what the next step should be: "Cheetos Powder."
@jccvi: I didn't find the Flaming Hot version more addictive than the regular Giant Cheetos, but then..I wasn't into the Giant overall. I assume it tastes better at normal size?
roboppy at 1:34PM on 04/03/09
My favorite were the now-discontinued Planter's Cheez Balls that came in a round tin.
EricRoberts at 1:35PM on 04/03/09
cheetos are awesome. i might go get a bag later. mmmm...
foodinmouth at 1:46PM on 04/03/09
Soooooooo..... does this mean more, or less orange on the fingers?
Pavlov at 2:02PM on 04/03/09
Love your Cheetos dissection Robyn! One question, are these much bigger then Planter's cheese puffs?
Linnea Covington at 2:12PM on 04/03/09
My favorite in this class is the Gibble's Cheese Puffy:
http://tinyurl.com/d45kmh
The problem is that the large bag is essentially a single serving because I can't stop, so I only purchase a bag if I'm prepared to eat the whole thing and that's a fairly rare occurrence.
ccbweb at 2:19PM on 04/03/09
"Flamin' Hot Giant Balls" -- my husband is going to have a hayday with these.
juliebugsmama at 2:28PM on 04/03/09
@Linnea: I haven't had Planter's puffs..wuhoh. I assume these are bigger, although I'm not sure by how much.
@ccweb: I haven't had those either. Wah! I want.
roboppy at 2:29PM on 04/03/09
Nice. Who doesn't love balls in their mouth? Visit W3Schools! I know I do. (Swear I'm not spam! Just grossly inappropriate...)
meleyna at 4:19PM on 04/03/09
Man I suck. The link is right above, the text is not...
meleyna at 4:22PM on 04/03/09
so where's the review of the natural cheeto?
optic at 5:59PM on 04/03/09
@optic: There are a lot of Cheetos snacks; we weren't aiming to review all of them, just the ones most comparable to the Giant version. Which entailed the fluorescent ones.
roboppy at 6:07PM on 04/03/09
I noticed the giant cheetos at the market the other day. I'd never seen them before and didn't know how long they had been out, but I was curious about them. They sort of remind me of the (unfortunately no longer made) Planters cheese balls I loved as a kid. (Man, I miss those :P)
blisseau at 7:27PM on 04/03/09
Barbara's are the best ever! I loves me some them jalapeno chesse puffs. And they're getting harder to find! I used to be able to get them in the "natural" sections of my local grocers but now I have to make a special trip to the co-op to get them....lame.
sailordave at 9:48PM on 04/03/09
I'm a Puffs girl. They're like "cheese"-flavoured cotton candy.
piccola at 10:07PM on 04/03/09
My favorite are Little Bear Lite Cheddar Puffs (probably because that's what my mom used to buy so that's what I got used to), so I tend to gravitate towards puffs. I like the airy disintegration factor. I might have to look around for Barbara's puffs now though...
And I also miss Planter's Cheez Balls! Screw these Giant Cheetos...shrink 'em down!
cycorider at 11:21AM on 04/04/09
@violetcrumble: I'm not the only one who likes them a bit stale!
I have an unnatural love of all cheeto products. I also liked the planters balls, but have not seen them in years.
Mmmmm, now I need some cheetos!
StripeyChef at 1:35PM on 04/04/09
funny you would mention you have Cheetos hangover. I have always found that Cheetos (particularly the small crunchy kind) are a kind of miracle hangover cure. orange fingers don't last forever and luckily, hangovers don't either...Cheetos rule!
Kath the cook at 8:36PM on 04/04/09
@chef colin...I read your post 5 minutes ago and I'm still laughing. Hurry up and create a blog with a Ruhlman kinda photo on the top of the page devoted to your giant Cheeto bouche to stake your claim to the idea before Paula Deen or Martha Stewart beat you to it...LOL!
kathyvegas at 9:40PM on 04/04/09
i created an account just to mention that I once impulsively purchased a bag of flaming hot cheeto puffs at a BIG LOTS! and they were the most addictive chip product I have ever had. They were dark burgandy colored and HOT.
topodrinko at 10:47AM on 04/07/09
Tempting as that is, if by some miracle of the culinary gods, I did become rich and famous because of a blog started with such a dish. I could never look my future fellow Food Network associates in the eye knowing I got my start with a culinary joke.
Then again, empires have been started on less.
Chef Colin at 5:05PM on 04/07/09
Wise Cheez Doodles > all Cheetos products.
kmitch218 at 9:46PM on 04/07/09
Cheetos are an inferior cheese snack. The Cheezel is the finest yellow, stainy and mouth-tearing fromage flavoured cruncher on the planet. These rings of snacky wonder have been gracing the fingers of Australian children and party-goers for decades. And they come in a box. Visitors to our shores, once eating a Cheezel never look back.
jobeth at 8:10AM on 04/08/09
Cheetos swirls rock -- the leave the roof of your mouth totally raw!
susanova at 3:19PM on 04/08/09
Cheetos Swirls are still being made? I live in Riverside, Ca. (I know, I know not the culinary capital of ....umm, anywhere), and loved those. It's nice to know they're still out there. Jeez, I gotta get out more. I'm reminiscing about Cheetos Swirls...
RossS at 10:03PM on 04/10/09
For those of you lamenting the old, beloved Planters Cheez Balls (I could down one of those cans in no time when I was a kid), Utz makes an EXCELLENT Cheez Ball. Not sure how much of the country they cover, but they are in both my local grocery stores and BJ's club.
trillian42 at 1:35PM on 04/11/09
Thanks for the warning. I had no idea that the Planters Cheez Balls were long gone. I swear I have seen them relatively recently in my mother's kitchen but then a couple of months ago she found a Kraft cheese brick in her basement refrigerator that had expired in the late 70s. (This is the truth, I swear). My brother has taught my niece and nephew (7 and 5) to ask Gamby how old something is if they have any concerns. Constant vigilence is the only defense.
JohnFred at 10:05AM on 04/13/09
Ridiculous!! Give me crunchy Cheetos any day!
brigittesm at 11:20AM on 04/13/09
@Cassaendra: They DO make Flamin' Hot Puffs -- I've seen them around!
hungrybunny at 1:57PM on 04/13/09
1st thought: those tv ads for giant m&ms and the disasters when people tried to eat them.
2nd thought: can you slice them in half and make pulled pork/cheeto sliders?
[sorry, sliders on the brain: going to the store after I finish my 'net-ing to buy King's Hawaiian rolls and make sliders with pork tenderloin and slaw with honey mustard]
mauserati at 4:44PM on 04/13/09
I guess this is the appropriate place (if anywhere) to put this link:
http://gizmodo.com/5224528/i-ate-the-worlds-largest-cheeto-while-using-the-worlds-most-expensive-keyboard
(urk)
kaares at 6:59PM on 04/25/09
So i purchased a bag of disappointment for $2.50. The bag was labeled
"Giant Cheetos".
After seeing the awesome and over the top television advertisements for giant cheetos, I was super excited to get my hands on a bag!
I went to my local market and was glad to see bags of them available after seeing the new commercial a day prior.
Since the bag of giant cheetos is opaque, I decided to squeeze the bag a little, to feel how big these "Giant" Cheetos actually were.
They didn't feel giant at all!
After i felt up the bag, proceeded to crush one of the giant cheetos between my thumb and forefinger.
It took quite a bit of effort to bust one of the cheetos, through the bag.
So I thought ," Damn! this stuff is hard as hell.", and then I left the store with out the bag of the Giant cheetos.
Curiosity got the best of me, and i was back in the snack isle the very next day to make the purchase.
So I open the bag of giant cheetos, and it smells nice.
I take a bite of one, and I was immediately put off buy the harsh texture, and lack of flavor.
I tried another one, this time i popped it in my mouth.
BAD IDEA!
Giant Cheetos are worst than Captain Crunch with out milk!
So i tried to pawn the giant cheetos to my dad aka: The human garbage disposer.
After he took a bite, he asked me when the expiration date was, because he flet they tasted and felt stale.
I just had purchased and opened them that day, and the bag said "NEW" !
So yeah..... the idea of a Giant Cheeto was nice, but i wish they were bigger and softer.
I feel Cheeted by the Cheeto Cheetah.
I'm going to write frito-lay explaining my disappointment with Giant Cheetos.
VeronicaEats at 12:57AM on 04/26/09
Try Tastees - they are like Cheetos. People in the UK are loving them!!
rodney parade at 4:49AM on 08/25/09