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Served: On Dishing

I blog by day and wait tables in a New York City restaurant by night. I'm excited to bring you Served, dispatches from the front of the house. Enjoy!

"The restaurant biz has a disproportionately vast amount of dirt. Gossip flows like booze."

20080616-servedbug.jpg“That sucks! I’m sorry.” I told P.

The situation really did suck.

She turned around, looked me in the eye, and said sternly, “Don’t write about this.”

“I won’t,” I promised. So what happened? I will keep my word, despite the temptation to tell a juicy story.

Spilling my Beans

The other day at work, I sat at the bar folding napkins. My boss sat next to me, drinking a Meyer lemon soda.

“So you and Mr. Suit are dating?” he asked.

He caught me off guard. I had to think for a second. “No. Why?”

“I heard you wrote about it in last week’s column."

“Did you read it?”

“No.”

“Well. We’re not. But you should read it if you want to know what happened.”

And that was the last I heard from my boss about Mr. Suit.

Two hours later, A., my friend and fellow server, arrived at work. “We need to talk about your column,” he said by way of hello. Did we?

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked, many hours later, when there was finally a second to breathe.

To recap: Mr. Suit, a new regular and friend of my restaurant, had flirted hardcore with me. I was into him. I gave him my number. He didn't call.

"He came by at 2 a.m. the other night," A. reported. We close at 2. "I told him: 'If I give you a drink now, you'll never leave me alone at closing time again.' He said, 'You're right.'"

Basically, A. was surprised by how much I put myself out there with last week's crush confession. "It's a small world; Mr. Suit will probably read it," A. predicted. Turns out Mr. Suit is friends with some of our other regulars and knows a bunch of restaurant people. New York is a tiny world. I wouldn't bet on Mr. Suit reading the column starring him, but I wouldn't be surprised either.

The Exposé

On a job interview a few weeks ago, the interviewer looked at my resume and said, "Oh, you write Served."

"That's me," I sad, totally flattered that a bigwig chef read my stuff.

"So if we hire you, you're not going to tell all our secrets, right? Or are you?"

"Only if you want me to," I assured him.

"Just had to ask," he said, "It's dangerous hiring writers."

Danger indeed! The threat of the tell-all is always a scary one, but the restaurant biz has a disproportionately vast amount of dirt. Gossip flows like booze. There are thousands of secrets that aren't really secrets.

I try not to be too much of a gossip. That's not really what Served is about. Although sometimes, it happens. Once, I mentioned the name of a restaurant whose staff frequented my place after work. I promptly received an angry email from my boss. I removed the restaurant's name. I hadn't meant to reveal something confidential, but apparently I crossed a line. Now, I know better.

That's why I only refer to people by their initials. But P., A., and everyone else know who they are. My restaurant's a small place. So if you come there a lot, you probably know who they are, too.

I try hard to respect personal and business privacy. But what about my own privacy? Should I exercise more restraint? Maybe, but if Mr. Suit reads Served, so be it. It's honest. That, I can promise.

15 Comments:

Maybe you should be, most men prefer to be the stalker rather than the stalkee. My husband is six foot five and built line a linebacker. You should see the fear in his face when a woman flirts with him. It's absolutely amazing. It happened when we were dating and afterward he asked ME why I didn't protect HIM from HER, like he wasn't big enough to protect his own honor, hah. I don't know why but I think it's something inbred. Good luck with Mr. Suit.

"He came by at 2 a.m. the other night," A. reported. We close at 2. "I told him: 'If I give you a drink now, you'll never leave me alone at closing time again.' He said, 'You're right.'"

maybe it's just too early in the morning on the west coast for me to comprehend, but what is the relevance of this part of the story? it's bugging me.

Maybe that suit guy was flirting with A.?

how can a writer write if she isn't at least somewhat honest and revealing? well, perhaps if you wrote user manuals or about the newest blackberries. but good grief who wants to read about that.

good writing is writing that brings to life its characters and setting, and Hannah, your stories have certainly done that!

hannah, why do i suspect this column is what you are really after..creating that niche for your wrting, me thinks, is your primary goal....so perhaps u need to go undercover;but i suspect ur first restaurant job will be your last if this is how you are going to proceed...so make sure the next 'suit' is really rich.....and don't get me wrong i love ur writing but i just don't see how dishing the dirt is going to bode well for your future bosses...

If a guy is interested he will ask you out. Period. I've never met a guy who was into aggressive women. Just my two cents...

I am not an agressive woman! Not usually, anyway.

@sbelle, welcome to the modern world, we have electronic mail and phones without cords, AND WOMEN CAN ASK MEN OUT. and they like it!
and your two cents are worthless in this economy.

@Hannah, love the column, but i've known plenty of folks fired or not hired because of revealing industry blogs. heck, i was fired for being pregnant. there is _seriously_ a lot of dirt.

I'm really surprised at the negative responses you are getting to this column, and even more shocked at the amount of people who are suggesting you revert into a docile, passive lamb waiting to be snapped up by Mr. Right/Suit/Whoever. You wrote that piece because you were inspired to write about it, and if you HADN'T written about it you would have been denying yourself because of . . . what some guy you don't even really know but maybe likes you might think? Whatever. I think guys are definitely into bold girls, and a lot of the ones who aren't have weird inferiority/dominance issues. I love your columns and I think you are a great writer. You should write about whatever you want to as long as you keep the anonymity thing in mind.

I completely understand the point behind keeping things gossip-free and confidential I just don't think it really applies in this case.

2nding what Cebca said. love reading your column every week, Hannah.

still confused over hurr

Bah, Mr. Suit is a player. Or trying to be, anyway. Maybe he's a server-izer, the restaurant equivalent of the model-izer? I think some people just like the idea of bagging the wait staff.

I have no idea what you are talking about, not having had the good grace to read your earlier writings, but having been a practicing (and published) writer, my suggestions would be: a) let it all hang out; b) damn the consequences. If all you want to write is "pretty kitty" stories, then I won't want to read you and neither will 99 percent of your audience. Get tough and stay tough!

yup, this biz is FULL of drama!

I was introduced to my now boyfriend by his brother and he didn't want to have anything to do with me, so I approached him shortly after the introduction and introduced myself again and we ended up chatting for a long time....and here we are over a year and a half later. Its all dependent on the guy, go after what you want and if its right it will happen. Great column Hannah!

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