100 - [10L - 7F + C(k - C) + T(m - T)]/(S - E)

A lot of heavy lifting for a pile of butter sponges and syrup pools, but that's what a "maths teacher" in the UK says is the key to pancake greatness.

L = number of lumps in the batter
C = consistency
F = flipping score
k = ideal consistency
T = temperature of the pan
m = ideal temperature of pan
S = length of time the batter stands before cooking
E = time the cooked pancake sits before being eaten

A commenter on Buzz Feed, though, discovered that setting "S" to ten years would yield near-perfect results. So maybe just go back to following the back of the Bisquick box. [via kottke]