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Pork is my passion
It will never go out of fashion
Gives me thrills whenever I eat it
Generates poems of incomparable wit
Yay I say when offered pork on Valentine's day

Dearest pork, the many ways I love thee:

Prosiutto
Rilletes
Apple in the mouth, and roast 'er whole!
Involtini di Lonza al Tartufo, yes I'll have my truffles with some pork.
Saucisson sec
Eggs, scrambled in bacon drippings, with a side of...BACON

Trotters (braised, please)
Head Cheese
Ears, crispy and Szechuan style

Lardons (with frissee and a poached egg, of course)
Alsatian style, with saurkraut
Roasted, with crispy skin
Dough, especially pastry, made from leaf lard

Not a day goes by when I don't dream of you
Oh! there has never been a love quite as true
Bringing me joy in so many ways
Leaving me swimming in a blissful daze
Even now my soul dances as I sing your praise

People perhaps think my adoration's a phase
I disagree, my heart's will is real,
Greeting you always with a euphoric squeal!

I met you over pancakes
That first meeting at sunrise

Maple melting over,
Under,
Sliding down the bacon,
Tickling the sausage and ham.

Before I knew it, you were gone
Evacuated with gusto from my plate

Later trysts would come,
Over breakfast, lunch, and dinner
Voraciously, I have courted you
Existential bliss and edible, all in one

Be
Always
Close!
Oh
Never

Part!
Lo
Every
Aching
Second in
Ecstasy!

My Man usually brings home the bacon
While I tend to all the home makin'
But If I could win this awesome meat,
he'd be in for a real treat.
I'd whip up a feast of God's tastiest creature
with bacon and chocolate as the final feature.
They say that love makes a happy home,
but I'm hoping it will be this poem!

Bacon, oh bacon, you are my everything.
Always ready to be pan-fried; that sizzle makes my heart sing.
Come to my salads, my sandwiches, alone,
Oh beautiful pork product, you're the best piece of fat I've ever know.
Not everyone loves you, but those people don't know

Loving bacon is easy, even if those clogs in your heart grow.
Oh bacon, oh bacon, your taste is divine;
Verily delicious and wonderful and great and sublime;
Everyone should build a bacon shrine.

A SWINE'S VALENTINE

A piggy named Nathaniel

Sat along a muddy bank;
Wiggled his tail, wrinkled his snout, and
Imagined away the time.
Now and then a dream
Entertained his piggy mind--
'
Skimming across the water--a swiney

Valentine!
Afloat atop an inner tube, the graceful
Lady drifted;
Ever
Nearer
To his muddy bank; Nathaniel's love
Impending! But now
Nathaniel wakes, and blinks his piggie eyes;
Eats a tuft of river grass . . . and sighs.

Oh, hear, sweet swiney muse
I think of thee this Valentine’s Day
Nearer to my heart are you, over bovine or fowl
King of meats, there is none higher

Be mine, Swine

Always welcome on my plate,
Come on now, don't hesitate.
On with the chorizo, the bacon and the like,
Now before I take a hike.

Burnt to a crisp or soggy and fatty
At breakfast with eggs or on a cheeseburger patty
Clearly this meat is the one that's most loved
Ovo-lactos even miss this treat from above
None in the fridge?! I'll have sausage, sadly

Incredible

Have you ever been eaten,
Eaten by a love,
A love of meat?
Rather than waxing philosophical,
Take a minute.

Pork
Instantly
Gratifies.

Life in the countryside
And what is the best part?
Neither fresh air nor green grass is more
Dear to this hungry heart,
Round the barns, you may see
A full piggery; but for me, there are
Chops, ribs and bacon,
Eating well, and good conversation.

Pigfoot was a pig. (Yes, a big pig!)

Ignoble and hairy was he, but

Goodness, how he smelled like sweet, sweet bacon!

Perhaps ours is a doom'ed love;
O'er reaching blessing from above.
Resplendent in my darkest feeding
(Cuckoled greasiness needing
Imbibing hickory's green scent
N'er surgeon general's warning let relent)
Even as it stories death - I live

Lardons crisp and sweet, inviting
- Oh, 'tis pork about I'm writing -
Nitrite-free and sagely flavored
God's named Zingerman have labored
In the quest to bring this swiney lover
Nagging, begging, yea - I blubber:
Give the box to me - so I may live...

Behold the glorious swine,
Innumerable in its uses.
Potbellied vessels of flavor to dine.
Pan fried, crispy & delicious,
Ingots of white-hot salty meat.
This wonderful, magical animal
Yearns to be turned into treats.

Being so delicious, though, can pose a host of problems.
Occasionally while in captivity,
Pigs may sometimes eat their young ones.
Put it on a sandwich,
It even works on salad.
The notion it's unhealthy,
You surely think invalid.

Back bacon, streaky bacon, middle, hock or gammon.
All the bacon in the world
could answer global famine.
One more thing, I must confess.
No piggies were harmed in the writing of this address.

Lardy slaB
Is A
Tasty snaC
Tomato and MayO
Lettuce, too, oN
Earthy, toasty bread. oh joY.

PiG
Is sO
Good, sO
GooD
IN
Every bitE
SandwicheS
! yeS

Swine, glorious swine
How I want you to be mine
Oh your belly, your back...
Wow, you make my jaw slack

My heart is yours
Even if you are standing on all fours

The doctor may say no,
However, I'll tell him where to go!
Eternal love for you my pig, can only grow

Let me invite you to dinner
And let me pray that I am the winner
Romance will be had-
Don't be sad!

What a weekend it was
Eleven months back
Before the “I-Love-You”s
Our first night together
That thrill of discovery
Her body exposed
Laid out before me.
On Sunday she slept
Very, very late.
Entangled, I slipped
Passed her arms to
Organize our first
Rudimentary breakfast of
Kisses and bacon and eggs.

Being a lover of pork
And at the expense of sounding like a dork
Can I say that when it comes to true love
Only one thing on earth or heaven above
Now can make my knees go weak

Listen close as I give you a peek
Only if you promise to not give a peep
Voluptuous, sexy, and sweet...
Eerotic even, is my love for pig meat

Love is piggy
And often wiggly
Rightly porky
Delicious and dorky

Somewhere between night and day,
A sirens' call I must obey.
Under covers from which I crawl,
Steals a scent that does enthrall.
A spicy blend of herbs and meat,
Growling with hunger, I take my seat.
Everywhere in savory glee,

A lovely spread of food I see!
Down the table, plate by plate,
Don't stop now, I just can't wait!
In my sight the platter looms,
Coming closer, sausage soon?
The king of breakfast, I must have it,
In links or patties, a tasty habit.
Only those of kindred mind,
Notice my zeal for things porcine.
Sausage addiction, an uphill grind.

Beautiful sensual pork
At a special time of year
Comes a truly unique treat
Of equal parts love and lust
Nothing beats a pork-flavored valentine.

I saute and chop and cook my pork with some clementines
To please and soothe and seduce my sweet valentine.

The scent of the slowly simmering hock
Was a torment and my patience it did mock.

Finally the end was near and that was fine
The end result was on the line.

Who knew he couldn't eat pork
What a dork!

Next time i have a bright idea of mine
Instead remind me to just cast my pearls before swine!

Unconsciously
Now apart of me
Kindly she slips downstairs
Out of bed, over the dog
Something for that romantic after morning
How we share
Everything
Remember when it was bacon sizzling

Lonely with a great breakfast, too special for one
Only, always cooking for yourself
Very Jewish now, you could commit, convert
Each morning is now love, Called French toast and fake bacon

p.s. this prize could be and would be shared and loved. :)

Go now, it calls. You will not rest
Until you possess it.
A pound? Why yes, it is so much more
Nuanced than bacon
Chlolesterol? Ha!
I take Lipitor©
And this I know…
Lard pales in its presence.
Ecstacy!

bacon fried up slice by slice
and tender chops are oh so nice!
can you see how one might cling
onto a bag crisp chitterlings?
nom. nom. nom.

Is there a better way
To spend this Valentine’s day?

Munching bacon with your sweetie
Uttering love over charcuterie?
Spare me the foul, the fish, the beef
Tis sausage that my true love needs

Bannish from our plates the veg
Eat not a spot of sweets or bread

Proscuitto bring us to our knees
It’s lardon love this romance needs
Go on then, make it porcine please

By myself on Valentines day,
And I don't want a man, I just want some pork,
Caresses and Kisses are nice and all, but
Only Bacon has my heart,
No one else is as salty and sweet.
Late at night my bacon is there,
Overseas I have him too,
Very few people or foods is as dedicated as he,
Enough heartache. I just need Bacon.

Behold the glory of smoked pork
Alas a love is growing
Can this meat be real or is it a dream
Oh my, I have found it to be true
Never was there a meat as worshiped as you.

Porkuliarly
Swiney sty unto mine eye
Scrapple me softly

Beef, beer, bread, bananas:
All wonderful things, but what can
Compare with the
Oh so wonderful taste of bacon?
Nothing comes near.

(In the style of Williams Carlos Williams)

This Is Just To Say

I have eaten the
Last pork tenderloin that was in the icebox
Only you were
Very likely saving it for
Escalopes
Pardon me
It was succulent and so
Good

please give me the lard
oh, i can't live without it.
rendering the fat in a pan
knees on the ground in praise of pig

steam it,
luscious pork buns.
utilize all the nasty bits,
tummy is feeling good.

Oh how I crave thee
In all its glorious forms
Nothing compares to bacon love
Knowing I can't always have thee makes me weep

Title: Piggy, Piggy Won't You Be My Valentine?

Piggy, Piggy all brown and pink
Oh how I long for you, just think!
Roasted, braised or as a link
Knowing your fate, you give a wink

For the ribs, the loin, the belly I pray
A love for these will always stay
Today I give my heart away

Rendered down, oh liquid love!
Undying, eternal from heaven above
Lovely piggy can't you see?
Ever more you're meant to be
Sweet and tender and all for me!

From chacrute, sausage and salumi too
Our love for you is true
Right here on my plate to be
Ever more is my reverie
Valentine to me please be
Even a swine is lovable you see
Ready and waiting, mine to be.

Dearest Lard,
Will you be my valentine?
To convince you, I've written a poem for you:

How I love you lovely lover,
Atop my burgers, sandwiches and
Many others.

Be mine in 2009,
All cuts, sizes and grades;
Cuz all forms will be fine,
On top of mashed potatoes or eggs
No heath issue will make me change my mind.

Please be mine swine
Or my romantic meal it will not be complete;
Remember the love that we made in the kitchin'?
Kuz for those memories I am-a-itchin'!

Oh what the heck--marry me lard,
In pig-ness and in health;
Nothing beats your versatility,
Keep me as your lover all for yourself.

Love always,
Christel

*In Praise of Pork*

Oinks of piggies doomed to die,
Destined soon to deeply fry;
Early sizzling bacon grease,
Tumult raised for breakfast feast;
Or perhaps a silence sweet
Speaking soft of roasting meat
Whispers of a dinner nigh:
In these sounds our pleasures lie.

Nothing short of heaven's grace
Ever could the joy replace
Divined by these delicious sounds
In whose great praise our voice resounds.
Now take the plate, prepare your fork,
Inhale the breath of luscious pork;
No time to waste; now don't be shy:
Gorge yourself with pig, says I!

Dramatically portioned,
Each squealing bacon-maker
Attempts culinary genius by
Donating their body of

Pork.
In what some may think of as
Gourmet, yet totally
Gruesome, others eagerly
Yearn for the taste of smokey sweetness.

Wonderful piggy, I cannot
Acknowledge your delicious taste without
Lifting a glass to your noble sacrifice.
Kindly understand,
It isn't personal, you're simply my
Newest form of
Gastronomic delight.

Thank you all for the awesome acrostics. They made for fun LOLs at SEHQ (and probably wherever else Serious Eats is read). There were congratulations to our winner, hootspa:

Robust praise
In circles culinaire for
Porcine pleasures
Without compare
Imbibe! Your
Lardoons culled from
Bellies round with
Unctuous
Richness, pound for pound

The judges said: Points for originality, humor, and the rhymes. Well played!

Winner has been notified by email and also appears on our Contest Winners page.