Serious Eats - seriouseats.com

Ed Levine's Serious Diet, Week 52: Mr. Metabolism Fights Back on My Birthday Week

Posted by Ed Levine, January 30, 2009 at 9:00 AM

I knew this week was going to be trouble. Big trouble. I knew Thinner was going to be fickle and cranky and maybe downright rebellious, assisted in no small part by his partner, Mr. Metabolism.

Mr. Metabolism was cross with me because I had crossed a line in his view, the 230 pound line. And when you cross a line with Mr. Metabolism you better be prepared to back it up big time with a downright abstemious week. Otherwise Mr. Metabolism will bounce you right back to the 230s and not even think twice. Because that's what he likes to do: Get you feeling confident and publicly declaring your 229-ness and then bam, he and his pal Thinner in the words of Sly Stone, "take you higher."

You know a couple of sentences back, when I said the only way to fight Thinner and Mr. Metabolism was to be abstemious? Well, abstemiousness just wasn't in the cards this week, my birthday week.

I don't think reviewing a fried chicken and ribs joint is an effective way of fighting Thinner and Mr. Metabolism, especially when I bring home the leftovers. Nor is experimenting with six-foot long pizza bianca sandwiches. Or tasting some fine local wings.Or bringing home flourless chocolate cake topped with dulce de leche because the restaurant gives everyone who orders one a souvenir. And the coup de grace is that we didn't even order it. They sent it out from the kitchen as a gesture of respect. Guess they don't read my diet posts. I did play squash three times this week and I did eat very lightly yesterday, when I felt like a wrestler trying to make weight.

The Weigh-In

Well, there's nothing left to do except to climb on Thinner. No matter what happens, I will defeat you, Mr. Metabolism and your axis of weight loss evil.

230. Up a pound from last week.

You might have bested me this week, my birthday week, but it's a long race, Mr. Metabolism. You and your henchmen will be back on your heels next week, and the week after that, and the weeks and months after that. I promise. I may never be rid of you entirely, Mr. Metabolism, but I will keep you in check, neutralize you so you are not the bane of my weight-loss existence. In the words of the actor-governor of California, "I'll be back."

View other entries from Ed Levine's Serious Diet

Post a Comment Favorite this!  (0)

Tags: diets, Ed Levine's Serious Diet, health, Thinner, weight