Served: A Colorful Cast of Customers
I blog by day and wait tables by night. I'm excited to bring you Served, dispatches from the front of the house. Enjoy!
A couple came from Chicago to visit New York City for the weekend. Their plans included two Broadway shows and a trip to my restaurant. They showed up to eat after the first of their theater engagements, glowing. They had a blast; they adored the show.
The place was bustling with our usual late night rush. The couple, two guys, squeezed into the end of the bar and ordered some wine. Then, one of them saw something. He turned to the other, “was that the woman in the play we just saw?” he asked, checking out a lady across our little restaurant.
Upon closer examination, it turned out a sizable part of the cast was hanging out at a table in the corner, eating cheeses and meats and drinking bubbly. They come by often after their show. In fact, they’re friends.
The guys were a little star struck. They needed encouragement from A., a fellow server, to say hi to the musical table. But say hi they did.
They ended hitting it off with the cast. There was a bit of room at their table, so the two men wedged in and shared a bottle of wine.
The couple told the actors about the show they were going to see the following night. Turns out, the cast of that show was hanging out a few tables away, also devouring a plate of cheese.
I wasn’t working that night, but I heard the story the next evening, when the couple returned. They wanted to spend their last night in town at our restaurant. They were so sweet, genuine, and funny that I was sad they had to return to Chicago.
I’ve met a lot of awesome tourists. There are some “types” of people who I have come to expect. I’m not eager to typecast, but it’s amazing how people so often behave, at least during our brief interactions, in some very predictable ways.
An incomplete cast of characters:
The Clueless
When we first opened, our menu was an undifferentiated mass of items. With a little bit of consideration, we hoped our diners would intuit that a three dollar plate of green cerignola olives would not be enough for dinner. Or that a thirteen dollar duck confit salad might be more substantial than the three dollar mustard miso pickles.
Most of them did. But many were confused. “How does this work?” was (and still is) a familiar refrain.
So we divided the menu up into “small,” “medium” and “large” sections. The pickles and olives occupy the first category. The intention was to help out our customers by explaining ourselves a little better.
Strangely enough, the size categories seem to confound more than clarify.
About twice a night, people ask me: “What does it mean: small, medium, and large?” Seriously? It means small, medium, and large!
“Well,” I am tempted to retort, “The small plates are really, really, really big. The large plates are teeny.” But I have so far resisted the urge.
The Vegan
My place is a cheese bar! There are many places for vegans to dine in New York City, but ours is not one of them. Besides the aforementioned olives and pickles, we have nothing for them to eat. Our advice: have some wine. Or go somewhere else. Or go home.
The Professional
They know what they’re doing. They may or may not work in the restaurant biz, but they know their way around a menu and a wine list. They tend to order a bunch of stuff. They also tend to have a good time, tip well, and be a pleasure to wait on.
The Attention Whore
It is a rare but extant type who needs to be attended to unceasingly. These people ask to try five wines. They want you to entertain them. They want you to tell them about every item on our menu, and the restaurant's name, and everyone who works there, and your life story, and the art on the wall. Actually, they want to try six wines. Is that ok?
The Mom
I am young and just starting out my career. Certain people see me as a perfect target for their maternal urges. Some are wise and insightful and I truly value their advice.
Others, not so much. Sorry, lady, but we just met. I don’t want your counsel, especially when you instruct me that I need to go law school straight away if I want to amount to anything, advise that I should work for my anthropology professor in New Guinea for at least a summer, and/or dispel dating tips. Thanks but no thanks.
The Pursuer
The people who hit on me are not just lecherous old men. They come in all different shapes, sizes, colors, ages, and genders.
A first: a (gorgeous!) couple who sought persistently to woo me. I thought they were just particularly flirtatious. Then, she tried to kiss me goodbye one night. With tongue.
The Newbie: Excited
Oh my lord! This is new to me! And fabulous! The buffalo milk blue! The truffled bloomy-rind cheese! The sweet grass that tastes like butter, only so much better! The awesome condiments: wasabi pickles, cardamom spiced almonds, basil marshmallows, brown sugar fudge! The waitstaff is so nice! The wine is so delicious!
It's cool when people are super excited about what we are doing. After all, we're excited too.
The Newbie: Nervous
What is this stuff? What does it mean that the cheese is "meaty?" What does it mean that the wine is "earthy?" This is weird.
"I get it," J. said, about a group clearly uncomfortable with being at our place. "They're nervous so they're making jokes."
The Bros
For some dudes, the cheese/wine bar is an irrevocably girlie concept that can’t be remedied by our beers or bacon. To preserve their manliness, they must sit with their legs sprawled out as far as they can possible sprawl, and make lots of fun of wine.
Your loss, guys. I promise that your man parts are not going to fall off if you have some malbec and a sandwich.
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24 Comments:
Great post H2. I seem to fit several of these parameters all at once, probably my schizophrenic nature.
Re: The Vegan "Our advice: have some wine. Or go somewhere else. Or go home." I could come with another suggestion but that might cause them to actually enjoy food, by adding some in to their diet.
Re: The Bros "I promise that your man parts are not going to fall off if you have some malbec and a sandwich." In fact you are far more likely to get to use them by taking a lady to a wine bar rather than a sports bar. And when it comes to the single, what could impress a lady more than a man evolved and assured enough to drink in such establishments?
Nick Solares at 9:50AM on 11/11/08
Re: The Vegan: You really couldn't have the cooks make a quick vegetable plate or a pasta sans the cheese? There aren't any vegetable sides that you could plate together? Crackers? Bread?
As a strict vegetarian, I am sometimes dragged to unaccomodating places by friends. I am there for the company, not the food, but that doesn't mean I appreciate getting cold pickles and being told to go home!
On the other hand, I love it when a server goes out of their way to make sure I enjoy my time in their restaurant, and not only tip big, but also tell everyone I know about my wonderful experience.
KarynMC at 10:04AM on 11/11/08
"I promise that your man parts are not going to fall off if you have some malbec and a sandwich."
Love it!
I'm probably an excited newbie that aspires to being a professional. I hope the two aren't mutually exclusive. I still have a gaping void of wine knowledge (Umm... riesling please? The good kind?), but I like to think I can navigate a menu reasonably well.
JH4285 at 10:07AM on 11/11/08
Honestly Karyn, you have a responsibility to make sure that you can eat at a place you go to and that your friends are considerate of your dietary restrictions, no matter how silly they may be. I have vegetarian friends and I don't take them out for barbecue very often. There are plenty of restaurants that have veg options. A vegan in a cheese bar is in the wrong place.
If you work for a private owner (as opposed to a chain) it's not unusual to run into my least favorite type: The Friend of the Owner. They come in two categories, those who are grateful to eat at a discounted price at a restaurant, and those who think that they are VIPs and should be treated as such. My old boss tried to make "friends" with every single patron, and we would get some uppity motha uckahs in the joint. "What the hell is this? I ordered it medium and it's medium well! Do you realize I know the owner?"
schwartz at 10:16AM on 11/11/08
schwartz - I object less to there being nothing vegan on the menu than I do for being told that I am "silly" or unwelcome!
I have been to very few restaurants where I couldn't get *something* - like a spinach salad without the bacon bits or a cheeseless pizza. Would I wander into a cheese bar by my lonesome? No. Would I contact the restaurant ahead of time if I could? Yes. But sometimes I have to deal with other people's last-minute plans.
If it's my friend's birthday dinner and she wants me there, I'll go wherever. I didn't realize I was slacking any "responsibility" to society by ordering a plain baked potato at a steak restaurant!
KarynMC at 11:08AM on 11/11/08
You're not, but you also don't have the right to complain. You make a choice to go to a restaurant without options for you and you have to deal with the choice. I worked at a fondue restaurant that had one vegan option. And if one person got the veggie plate they were still cooking it in the same court boullion that their meat eating friends were. The salads had bacon and eggs in them and none of our dressings were vegan. There are restaurants that cannot accomodate you, and you just have to eat somewhere else. It's not the world's responsibility to make way for the trendiness of vegetarianism.
I, on the other hand, like to have meat with every meal. And I won't go to an all veg restaurant. Or if I have to, I'll make sure to have a burger on the way.
schwartz at 11:27AM on 11/11/08
Sure didn't seem like Karyn was complaining. Sorry vegans and vegetarians seem to upset you so much. Plus seems like all things pork is more of a trend than vegetarianism these days.
I myself and a very happy carnivore and work as a line cook in a restaurant with no vegan options immediately apparent on the menu, but we are happy to accommodate however we can when a patron with that type of dietary choice comes in unaware. We are much happier to serve a vegan or vegetarian than substituting items on our regular menu, as hypocritical as that may appear. Likely the unpleasant vegans the author has had to deal with would complain whether they were vegan or not.
My girlfriend is a vegan and often she accompanies me places where there is nothing for her to eat. She can take care of herself, however, and never complains. I guess vegan bashing really never gets boring though.
intheyearofthepig at 12:02PM on 11/11/08
I agree that restaurants shouldn't have to change their entire menu to accommodate vegetarians or vegans, but at the same time, it's not super hard to hold off a cheese garnish on a salad, as Karyn was saying.
(Or, if it is too much trouble, don't be pissed off if we only have a drink while everyone else orders food.)
And like Karyn said, you don't always pick where you go - I'd think it's far more diva-ish to insist on picking the restaurant than to ask for some bread and olives to nibble on.
piccola at 12:33PM on 11/11/08
@schwartz and @Nick Solares - Vegetarians and vegans are neither "trendy" nor do they lack "real food" in their diet. How about some respect for other members of the Serious Eats community who [gasp] have different eating habits and dietary preferences than you do?
As for restaurants being accommodating - I have ended up in meat-centric establishments lots of times when I've gone along with the preferences of the group (but wait, aren't vegetarians supposed to be whiners who harangue their friends about their diets constantly?).
Usually I try to find something to eat, and I don't think it's asking too much to get two appetizers instead of an entree plate, say, or to have them hold the bacon on a salad. The other option would be me not ordering food, which would mean me not paying for any food and the restaurant not making money on me. I've never had any waitperson ever imply to me that these requests were unreasonable.
producestories at 12:44PM on 11/11/08
Personal responsibility: both the vegans and the friends that "dragged" them to the location needed to take some for the choice of location. ("dragged", gosh I love a victim mentality)
this is a wine/cheese bar - considering the vast majority of both are non-vegan, it was a poor choice by both parties. yup, most wine isn't vegan.
entitlement: um, see personal responsibility
I have many friends who have various dietary restrictions (vegan, allergies, no seafood, no meat on the bone, etc.) We all take responsibility for each others issues and negotiate in advance and have alternative plans. You aren't helping anyone by assuming everyone can easily meet you dietary needs.
I appreciate that people have preferences/requirements in dietary issues, but sometimes you need to recognize a bad choice and cut your loses.
a wine/cheese bar is a bad choice for a vegan...
If you were going to someplace more conventionally a restaurant I can see expecting to get some more flexibility...
and by the way, particularly with vegans, you need to find out how sensitive they are. Some don't even want to eat off pans/stoves/ovens/grills that have ever been used to cook meat. Trust me, that is not an easy task anywhere that isn't vegan by design
gearboy at 1:06PM on 11/11/08
I'm sure rabbit food could be found more easily at, for example, a petting zoo. :)
schwartz at 2:09PM on 11/11/08
When did I say that I felt victimized? If a restaurant truly can't accomodate me, fine. There's a reason I don't often go out for Peruvian! What I don't appreciate are things like servers yelling at each other, "it's a vegetarian!" or obviously rolling their eyes when I ask about options - which has happened. Or being told to go home, because my personal dietary preferences make me unwelcome!
That said, most places - and the vast majority of servers - are lovely and willing to treat me like a human being, one that likes to eat, even.
Also, I don't know any vegans who are so strict as to ask that a restaurant kitchen buy all-new equipment to serve them! Many of the vegetarians/vegans I know (myself included) would even go for the nonvegan wine, since the ingredients used in the fining process don't appear in the final product. These are sticky, gray areas.
No vegan salad dressings? I'll ask for some oil and vinegar. And those cardamom almonds sounded delicious! Can I take a handful? How about a separate fondue pot for my veggie platter? There's really, absolutely nothing that I can eat? Then allow me to snack on the nuts I always carry while I make conversation with my friends. I won't complain, I don't expect servers to bend over backwards for me ... but I will lavish compliments on any place that goes that extra mile.
intheyearofthepig's restaurant sounds wonderful - I'm sure producestories, piccola and I could eat there very happily!
schwartz, gearboy and Nick? Let's just say that if we're going out for dinner, I don't want to hear any complaints when I drag you to an all-vegan eatery (in my experience, the dragging goes both ways)! :-)
KarynMC at 2:43PM on 11/11/08
I find it fascinating that this series, more than any other topic that I regularly read the comments of, almost always devolves into an argument.
thepictsie at 2:58PM on 11/11/08
don't allow the drag, stand up for yourself. I've been to at least one fabulous (or so I'm told) vegan place, Millennium in SF. sadly, it bored me. If asked again, I'd decline. I love food. Life is too short to compromise on something so important (for me at least). I'm glad you aren't strict a vegan as a couple of my friends - because seriously, they show up with their own cookware when they come to a party - at many houses, not just mine.
have you worked in a restaurant on a friday night when the customer wants to know if that is locally sourced, organic arugula? I'll just have that... - trust me, it is nightmare - so is the person who wants to know if the foie gras was humanely raised (um, probably only the ones at the farm in France recently spoken about by Bourdain - by most people's definitions)
I'll grant you that clearly I'm having a snarkier day than usual, but this is a sore subject for me. My wife, who was vegetarian (ovo/lacto) when I met her (no longer due to some other dietary restrictions which made for more soy based protein than even she could stand) and I made decisions on restaurants strictly by scoping out the suitability for her veggy diet. I "went" vegetarian for 6 years while she was.
My frustration with this issue goes back to personal responsibility. If you are gonna make a choice, great. But it isn't the restaurants responsibility to invent a menu. Nor does the chef likely want to cook your menu
Believe me, I've eaten pasta primavera more times than I can count as the only veggie option. I no longer go to places that aren't built in to deal with my or my friends dietary proclivities.
and I still claim that a vegan in a wine/cheese bar is a dumb choice for everyone involved.
I don't fault your choice of being vegan, really I don't. I just don't see why a little planning can't take place in the process - heck, vote with your pocketbook, that's how restaurants make decisions about what to offer on their menus.
and sorry, you will hear complaints, if you drag me to all vegan if I look at the menu and nothing looks interesting to me.
this == interesting...
Stuffed Truffled Roulade
French lentil & black chanterelle ragu, roasted chestnuts, black truffle butter, smoked pimenton cream, roasted maitake & exotic mushrooms, sautéed broccoli di Cicco with currants & pine nuts, mushroom syrup
this == looks like side dishes in search of a meal
Maple Glazed Smoked Tempeh
spring garlic-horseradish mashed potatoes, grilled asparagus & spring onions, Cabernet reduction
btw, same restaurant - this I would go eat at...
gearboy at 5:02PM on 11/11/08
I am a strict vegetarian, not a vegan. And I think the maple glazed smoked tempeh looks more interesting than a burger. To each their own.
KarynMC at 5:16PM on 11/11/08
I thought the Roulade looked very tasty, but I really like mushrooms and lentils
gearboy at 6:34PM on 11/11/08
Liked the post, disappointed w many of the comments Seems that some folks should search out a venue which serves humble pie-hopefully there will be two variations.
dasmueller at 10:26PM on 11/11/08
What I have learned in reading all of the responses is that, for the most part, people need better friends.
ccbweb at 9:51AM on 11/12/08
Hannah, I think your post rings very true. Those types are everywhere, even though I never had a woman try to kiss me with tongue. I can still remember my own "Clueless" customers and the ridiculous nature of their questions. And, as a vegetarian, I would try to stay out of a steakhouse, so I would agree with you when you suggest vegans don't frequenting the wine and cheese bar. I've had to go to a steakhouse and get a salad without the chicken, it can't always be helped. But if I have an option, I wouldn't go. I can definitely see where you're coming from. Please keep the entertaining posts coming!
MeganCochran at 5:53PM on 11/12/08
Count me in as another devoted carnivore who is sick of people making fun of vegetarians/vegans for their lifestyle choices.
"Stick up for yourself" in re: to being "dragged" out to a place which won't be accomodating to a veggie? Please man. Most vegetarians are already labeled difficult pariahs as it is and are WELL aware of it. Look at this thread for example: I have found most SE commenters to be well reasoned, "nice" people - far above the internet average. Yet just the slightest mention of veganism is enough to draw out the knives ("enjoy food", "petting zoo" etc). No one wants to be the downer who says the group can't go somewhere because it won't meet just their requirements.
The issue here is two fold and there are varying degrees of extremity to both. There are the extreme vegans/vegetarians who will bring their own cookware to a party - yes, that is annoying. Then there are inveterate meat eaters who will take every opportunity to knock vegetarians as some sort of personal affront to their diet and must make their feelings very loudly known. The dynamic between meat eaters and vegetarians fall mainly in the middle of those two ends, but the main pushback has always come back from the meat side ("it was your decision, live with it" "we can't accommodate you, go somewhere else" etc vs "please might i have the spinach salad minus the bacon?")
fascfoo at 11:07AM on 11/15/08
Oh, forget the vegan/vegetarian problems - we've heard it all by now. But as far as wanting to know about small, medium, and large, remember that we come from a culture in which (at least at certain coffee chains and my local grocery store chinese food take-out) "grande" doesn't mean "biggest" and "medium" is the smallest they offer. What people want to know is "how big is it, in normal speech?" and although it's unfortunate that they have to ask, they have found that it's necessary to get an idea of what they are ordering.
Likeswords at 12:53PM on 11/15/08
Great Post - interesting comments...
ddvierra68 at 5:33PM on 11/17/08
The vegan/food allergy has never bothered me; we're in the hospitality industry after all. Any chef worth his/her salt can work around dietary restrictions if the cooking is a la minute and the kitchen isn't in the weeds. The Attention Whore is the person who can best screw up my night by sucking up time I do not have to spare and the guys who think the place isn't butch enough for them always leave the crappiest tip.
RI Swampyankee at 11:12PM on 11/17/08
Hannah. . . Enjoyed your insightful post. I am a 60ish grandmother who considers myself a professional and mom type (except grandmom) diner. Nothing makes me happier than to have a chat (time permitting) with a young wait person and to hear their hopes and aspirations. My advice always is to live your life a fully as possible so that when you get old you do not look back and say: "I wish I had done and didn't. . ." If possible, I encourage them to travel while young, eat as the locals do and like and respect the people they meet and meet as many as possible.
It puzzles me that your post turned into a vegan/vegetarian and carnivore contest. Eat whatever you want and if you end up in a place, for whatever reason, which doesn't cater to your dietary druthers, cope. Life is just too short for bitching and moaning.
Today, in one of those obnoxious 20 rules to live by is this: "13. A person who is nice to you but rude to a waiter is not a nice
person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)"
I wish I may sometime find you, Hannah, with your youthful outlook on dining 'types'.
yayajac at 10:09PM on 11/19/08