Serious Eats
Should Women Get Special Treatment at Restaurants?
At some restaurants, servers can electronically punch in “L” for “lady" to ensure the gals get their menus and meals first. But at the recently-opened bar Apiary in Manhattan, this isn't an option—and in this day and age, the management thinks that's just fine. This week, Frank Bruni weighed in on the gender role situation while dining.
Us ladies here at Serious Eats have been mulling it over. Here's what we think, after the jump.
Alaina: "I think following traditional dining etiquette is a fine way to structure interactions between diners and servers and can make the experience go more smoothly—it's a framework and a starting point. But good service is more than etiquette and service trumps etiquette, even for this chivalry-appreciating Southerner."
Robyn: "I don't think having a uterus entitles me to receiving any special treatment. Not that I mind it either. Some of my male friends are more feminine than I am—should they get served first? I don't really care. Just feed me!"
Hannah: "As a server, I try my best to feel out the diners. I will pour the taste for whoever orders the wine. I work in a casual place, so old-school formality does not come into play too much. I take the order from the person who orders first: man, woman, whatever! I do serve women first, hand them menus first, and such. Why not?"
"As a woman, I don't mind if a door is opened for me, or a chair pulled out. It's so rare to be treated thoughtfully that the chauvinistic origins of the particular etiquette seem less important than the fact that someone is actually trying to act considerately."
Erin: "I don't mind some chivalry every now and then, but if the guy gets served first, that doesn't bother me either. One thing I have noticed is I usually order for the table, so if it's just me and another guy, he might feel like I'm stepping on his manliness. But he should be able to prove his manliness in other ways. (Like still having enough room for dessert!)"
Ladies reading: let's hear what you think.