Ed Levine's Serious Diet, Week 36: Spousal Wisdom
My wife, Vicky.
I haven't lost weight in a couple of weeks, and I have to admit it's kind of discouraging. But I've been telling myself that it's only a matter of time. My wife does not brook such talk easily. She worries all the time about my weight and its effect on my health and longevity. I guess she really does want me to to stick around for awhile.
But what does she know? She's been thin her whole life, as has her entire family, and in times of great stress she forgets to eat. What a concept!
Earlier this week, my wife let me have it with both barrels. She told me that my love of food and my genetic predisposition for weight gain were not acceptable excuses. I took exception to her characterization of what she obviously thinks is my futile weight loss effort. It was a really difficult thing for me to sit through. I thought I was under attack.
So what should I do? What in fact did I do?
After a sleepless night I decided that what my wife said had some merit. I decided that I really can't let my love of food rule my life.
So this week I have resisted the many temptations that have been put in front of me. We had the Shacktober excursion, and I really did just taste the sausages and the concrete. I went to a party last night at Per Se thrown by Thomas Keller for Ferran Adria and tasted three pass-arounds. I just kept telling myself that all the food I wasn't eating was still going to be around for a next time, and losing weight was going to give me a much better chance of being around for the next time. And the time after that.
I don't have to give up the inordinate pleasure I get from food. I just have to give up the idea that all the pleasure must be experienced immediately. There will be profoundly delicious barbecue and fried chicken and spaghetti carbonara and pizza and ice cream sundaes and pie to be had in the future. I just have to be around to enjoy it.
My midweek weigh-in had me down a pound on Wednesday and even on Thursday. My wife's tongue-lashing seemed to have had a positive effect. So what will this morning bring? Let's find out.
The Weigh-In
244. Down two pounds for the week. I'm thrilled. Psst. Don't tell my wife. I don't want her to think that she was right.
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18 Comments:
Congrats Ed!
ps. your wife is beautiful :)
hungrychristel at 10:42AM on 10/10/08
Hi Ed,
What you need is a commitment device. Read this short blurb on this man's weight loss strategy. Basically he bet himself $500 dollars in order to lose weight and keep his money or not lose weight and lose his money.
Maybe you can think of something clever like that. Some people have done things like handing money to a friend and if you don't commit, the friend donates the money to the KKK in your honor. You don't have to go to those extremes, but that example was to help you see that weight loss is about commitment more than anything else.
Good luck.
foodinmouth at 11:00AM on 10/10/08
oops, left out the url.
http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/02/26/could-you-lose-a-pound-a-week-to-save-500-a-guest-post/
foodinmouth at 11:00AM on 10/10/08
Your wife obviously loves you so listen to her! a little of a good thing and you'll be around to have it again. not to mention all the wonderful times you'll be around to share with a very smart pretty lady who is willing to love you enough to tell you hard truths. you are a very lucky man!
huneybumper at 11:01AM on 10/10/08
There's a great book called "Intuitive Eating" that elaborates on your basic point--we can (and should) enjoy food, and there are no bad or unhealthy foods, but we have to avoid the pitfall of "last meal" eating (thinking "Tomorrow I start my diet, so today I better gorge on everything I'll can never have again"). Reading "Intuitive Eating" has really improved my relationship with food--highly recommended.
lbsr522 at 11:27AM on 10/10/08
A Chef friend in Toledo wears a t-shirt with the ubiquitous phrase, "Never trust a skinny chef", the shirt attributing this phrase to Escoffier himself. Looking at Chefs Bourdain, Flay, Cora, and even Guy Fieri ... well, it's obvious this phrase is only an excuse.
So if you're a food writer, does a modified version of this phrase also apply, i.e., "Never trust the opinions of a skinny food writer"? I mean, if they're skinny enough, have they honestly eaten enough to know what they're talking about?
Look at how skinny critic Anton Ego is in Pixar's "Ratatouille". And he was totally believable.
I've recently taken myself through this particular line of thought. Why? Because of some spousal wisdom ... ;-)
Yeah Ed, Vicky obviously loves you. The same way my Mary loves me. God forbid the two of them should ever get together and watch you and I eat!
LunaPierCook at 11:34AM on 10/10/08
Ed, I lost thirty five pounds last year. I've struggled with weight issue and my love of food my whole life. Last year, I decided I wasn't going to diet any more and was going to eat whatever I wanted as long as I a)exercised every day and b)ate a normal portion. The most significant thing I did was to switch my stress relief from eating to exercising. When I look around me, the thin people aren't the ones who don't like food--they're the ones who don't eat when they're stressed. Maybe you should go on a long walk with your wife and thank her? Then come back and have EXACTLY what you want for dinner?? Keep up the good work. It's hell at first, but if you really want to get healthier you can do it.
Deb Harkness at 11:35AM on 10/10/08
If you try to follow all the advice you've gotten from these posts since you've started, you'll have to quit SE and become a full-time dieter! Congrats on your continued loss and on finding your own way to do it (with loving tongue lashings and a huge cheering section behind you). ;)
OneWallKitchen at 11:56AM on 10/10/08
Mr Tomato is feeling the need to tone himself up. I bought him a Wii.
Every night after he kills some jedis and John Maddens he then works out.
After about a month he has made improvement. This is a thing I thought was a crazy idea and now am so glad I bought. Wii Fit is da bomb.
I preordered a Jillian Michaels Fitness pack for him which arrives in a few weeks. If you are burnt out on exercise this is a great thing. If you want to eat a little more richly than usual you just have to exercise a little more. Also for every heavy calorie day there must be a lean day.
It is just a matter of timing. When you look at your schedule and you see two big eating days plan 5 lean ones to offset it. Ed you are so lucky to be able to enjoy what you do and do what you love. Please take good care of yourself. Go get the Wii. I know I would love to see that post. Ed Wiis.
JerzeeTomato at 11:57AM on 10/10/08
"Ed Wiis"???
Gawd, I haven't laughed this hard in a while. I can see the photo ... Robyn would have shot it in the loo ... :-D
LunaPierCook at 12:16PM on 10/10/08
Great job Ed!
One of the things that has helped me lose 30 lbs in the last year has been to continue to eat what I like...but to eat the best quality, and alittle less of it...knowing that I'm eating really good quality. Instead of the same old supermarket butter, I'll buy Plugra for butter on my bread...and only eat one piece...savoring every bite. I cook every night...but instead of throwing together a meal....I'll take my time to make something I really love....eating some for dinner, and taking the rest for lunch the next day. I've also found the standard tip for dining out - separately my dinner by 1/2 as soon as I get it, and having 1/2 wrapped to go - also helps w/portion control. One of the best things I've done is to try to cut out hfcs, and extra 'unnecessary' ingredients like flours & starches in foods I purchase (i.e. yogurt w/gelatin & corn starch in it, taco & other seasonings that use flour as fillers)....really has helped alot. It's extra work, but purchasing things in their most natural form is a big step towards being healhthier....and pretty easy once you get used to it. It really becomes second nature.
Not that I don't fall off the wagon & have a Pepsi or Mickey D's double cheeseburger from time to time....
:-(
mepolo at 1:03PM on 10/10/08
I gave myself a promised diamond necklace for a successful diet... a small one to be sure. I guess that doesn't work for you. Maybe giving it to your wife would work for you, she looks worth it.
Judith in Umbria at 2:23PM on 10/10/08
Judith, I think you're on to something...Ed could make a deal with his lovely spouse that if he doesn't lose 'X' amount of weight in a certain amount of time and keep it off for another amount of time, he has to buy her a really expensive ____ of her choice.
I agree with the person that said you'd be a full-time weight loss-obsessed freak if you followed all the advice here. Certain things always work (portion control and exercise) but there are always intangibles for each person that may work for one person but not another. Every person has to find the right combination of tried-and-true lifelong lifestyle changes along with the intangibles that are unique to you. I cheer you on in finding the perfect recipe for your own weight loss and wellness.
holdthemayo at 5:47PM on 10/10/08
Ed, cheers on your weight loss to date. Its a slow, frustrating business. I guess I'd be less inclined to respond well to being lectured, even in the most loving fashion possible, than you or others in this post. For one thing, its far from certain that fat folk have shorter life spans. There are studies to prove just about any conclusion you favor on that score. For another - until you've dealt with weight issues yourself, you really haven't a clue. Walk the treadmill, level 1, in my stretchy yoga pants before you judge me. But, hey, that's just me. Whatever works for you. Good luck, and keep up the great posts.
pourgirl at 10:28PM on 10/10/08
You are working on your consumption so pat yourself on the back!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What surprises me is how the Padma's, Gail's, Bobby Flays stay so thin when they are around food all the time...do they only eat on screen and starve themselves off???? It is hard to lose weight when you have a genetic predisposition to gain it and you are in the food industry and surrounded by great food!!!!!!! It is REALLY HARD so don't get discouraged, beat yourself up,etc...it sounds like you are making progress so stay the course..trying to lose weight the healthy way is hard which is why so many people look for shortcuts...Have you tried pilates or yoga...It is a great stress reliever, great for the circulatory system and if you have never tried it, you can even start from a chair...the point is in trying...Thanks for your posts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jbout at 9:49AM on 10/17/08
I'm not a food professional, but I also love food. I've come to realize that loving it doesn't mean I have to everything every time I want it (or come into contact with it). Not only that, but sometimes a taste is all I need.
IndyGal at 9:14AM on 10/20/08
Ed, you're an inspiration. We all want you around for a long long time, so keep up the good work. B in VT.
Barbara Hummel at 9:38AM on 10/20/08
Contrats, Ed. Don't give up, even when you fall off the wagon. And, responding to Jbout, I think thin people (even food professionals) just don't relate to food the way the weight challenged do. My daughter and I recently watched a trio of young women in a coffee shop -- all of them thin-ish, though not anorexic -- and the way they dealt with what they had ordered, in turn, a giant cinnamon bun, a bagel with cream cheese and a fruit cup. No one finished her order, and the cinnamon bun girl left the most on her plate. The bagel lady first spread cream cheese on, then scraped it off before leaving behind a half bagel, and all of them tasted the fruit cup, but even part of that was left behind. Some people really do eat just until they are satisfied, and "satisfied" doesn't mean "bursting at the seams" to everyone. It's a brain thing, I believe.
expat39520 at 9:49AM on 10/20/08