Candy Corn: Anti Stance
As Lenin once said, a lie told often enough becomes the truth. After so many fall seasons, we see candy corn and associate it with truth, with tradition, with goodness. But fall wants nothing to do with the tri-colored saccharine triangles.
If you drank a bottle of Karo syrup and ate a candle, that's what candy corn would taste like. Fall doesn't want to taste like that.
Fall wants to taste like pumpkin seeds, roasted butternut squash, and sure, a Snickers bar, or any of the acceptable candies on Halloween. Candy corn = not an acceptable candy. Candy corn = nausea.
Like Kerry, a candy corn supporter, I love everything about fall. Shoot—I would marry fall. I would have its leafy, pumpkiny babies. My birthday is in mid-October, so when I came into this Earth, pumpkins were peacefully blooming in patches and grocery stores were stocking fun-sized candy bars. I know what fall is about; I get fall.
Candy corn has become an autumnal icon, and part of me thinks that's fine. I actually don't mind seeing it piled in bowls (probably because it means a pumpkin is nearby).
I also like yellow and orange. They are not loud or ugly colors in my book. They are the colors of mustard, cheddar, and fall—and candy corn, which can't help it was made this way. Either way, candy corn still tastes gross and I don't want it in my mouth (color is not the issue).
Please don't tell me I'm a fall hater for hating candy corn. I also hate Peeps, but don't hate spring.
Related
In Videos: How Candy Corn is Made
Celebrate National Candy Corn Day with Candy Trivia and Candy Corn Products
Add a comment:
Previewing your comment:
HTML Hints
Some HTML is OK: <a href="URL">link</a>, <strong>strong</strong>, <em>em</em>
Comment Guidelines
Post whatever you want, just keep it seriously about eats, seriously. We reserve the right to delete off-topic or inflammatory comments. Learn more at our Comment Policy page.
If you see something not so nice, please, report an inappropriate comment.
34 Comments:
"Drank a bottle of Karo syrup and ate a candle" this may be the best description I've ever read! Well put.
I also love fall, and hate candy corn, love spring, hate peeps. We don't need to be defined by our candy palates!
bobcatsteph3 at 3:26PM on 10/30/08
You have my vote: I also dislike candy corn.
Raphael at 3:37PM on 10/30/08
Great! More for me.
sidebernie at 3:41PM on 10/30/08
Amen! I also agree with the karo syrup/candle analogy. Candy corn is a culinary abomination.
ScienceandtheCity at 3:46PM on 10/30/08
But candy corn just wants to be your friend, Erin...YOUR FRIIIENNNDD.
roboppy at 3:52PM on 10/30/08
I have a Candy Corn shaped candle I've had for years and put out every year as a Halloween decoration. Maybe I'll burn it this year while drinking Karo syrup :)
averagebetty at 3:54PM on 10/30/08
All candy corn is good for is to throw at people. And to give to the kids you hate.
Linnea Covington at 4:01PM on 10/30/08
I hate candy corn!
Tahitinova at 4:04PM on 10/30/08
Candy corn is the crap at the bottom of the Halloween goodie bag that is more torture (to tastebuds, teeth) than treat and deserves to be tossed. People who give that out are cruel, evil, misericiously cheap and to be avoided at all cost. In my humble opinion. ;)
PerkyMac at 4:06PM on 10/30/08
@Erin, while I hate Peeps as well (they're just stale marshmallows anyway), I can eat candy corn by the bag! And I don't care WHUT PerkMakistan has to say about it. :-D
LunaPierCook at 4:12PM on 10/30/08
I'm with you on this, Erin!
brooke29 at 4:15PM on 10/30/08
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVp-ZSlE5ic
Song from Noggin "I Don't Like Candy Corn"
Quote: "I would even eat my own feet, I bet they taste much better"
Montmc at 4:18PM on 10/30/08
Mmmm... Candle-flavored Karo syrup... what's wrong with that? Remember Nik-L-Nip wax bottles with syrup inside (http://www.tootsie.com/products.php?pid=154)? Candy corn is OK by me, too.
Peeps are evil, though.
hmcnally at 4:26PM on 10/30/08
Candy corn stinks.
That's my educated argument.
jonny509 at 4:31PM on 10/30/08
Finally, someone speaks the truth, I can't fathom why someone would want to eat the vile stuff.
All the pro candy corn stances on this site as of late have made me want to scream.
pcrackenhead at 4:33PM on 10/30/08
Even as a fat little kid who ate anything too slow to get out of the way I have always hated candy corn. I remember that first awful bite and that taste that a dozen peanut butter cups can't wash out. All my friends loved it and I tried a piece year after year to see if I acquired the taste. To date I have not though I gave up trying some time ago. I suppose its like the great cilantro battle, some people are bound to love it (I do).
christopher at 4:45PM on 10/30/08
Candy corn is perfect. Also the Indian corn and pumpkins that come with it in Brachs' "Harvest Mix." The trick is, you have to eat it until your tongue is rubbed raw from the sugar. Then you get endorphins, like a runner's high.
CandyBean at 4:51PM on 10/30/08
Candy corn (evil and good) looks like Slice Dude. Are they releated?
NYminknit at 5:14PM on 10/30/08
I agree - Karo and a candle. Foul stuff. You get my vote. And my vote for not liking Peeps as well. Two confections the world would be better off without.
renoles at 5:15PM on 10/30/08
Amen. Candy corn is grody
@linnea- Candy corn is for throwing at people! Specifically, Pro-Cornies!
greyrussian at 5:39PM on 10/30/08
Halloween is all about chocolate anyway.... why bother with candy evil, i mean corn.
dozertx at 5:44PM on 10/30/08
@NYminknit: As a matter of fact, I do have a CANDY CORN COSTUME! LOOKEE: http://flickr.com/photos/slice/2987829856/
Slice Dude at 5:54PM on 10/30/08
The yellow, orange, and white now has friends in other colors.
beth1 at 6:01PM on 10/30/08
While pro-candy corn, I have to acknowledge that the candle-corn syrup line is a riot.
That being said, since candy corn is for throwing, hit me with your best shot.
holdthemayo at 6:23PM on 10/30/08
If you're going to throw it at me, can you aim for my mouth? I LOVE candy corn!
GoldenEel at 6:35PM on 10/30/08
As a kid, I liked to bite each of the colors off one at a time. I have to agree that corn syrup/candle analogy is valid. :)
gracepiper at 6:42PM on 10/30/08
Erin: Thank you for perfectly articulating all that is wrong with candy corn.
Alaina Browne at 6:44PM on 10/30/08
By itself, I don't care for candy corn. But mix it with salted peanuts, and that's surprisingly good.
TheLoneIguana at 7:06PM on 10/30/08
How dare you disparage candles that way! They are delicious. How else could you explain wax lips at Halloween? Maybe you just need to try one of the many scrumdidilyumptious flavors at Yankee Candle. I think they even have a candy corn flavor. Yum!
FoodBully at 9:25PM on 10/30/08
Preach it! Fall deserves so much more! Wax is not a food and neither is candy corn.
BrooklynBrownie at 10:35PM on 10/30/08
I wasn't expecting this from someone who was photoshop'd into a picture with giant candy corn.
@FoodBully: my brother and I once tried to eat wax lips that we got. We thought it was some kind of weird candy that you could use as lips...then eat. Much happier eating the candy corn.
wunami at 11:02PM on 10/30/08
Erin totally won this argument....candy corn is repulsive!
Chew on That at 10:06AM on 10/31/08
As a kid, I used to break off just the white part from each piece. This was the only part I'd eat...Maybe I thought it was the most "natural" because it wasn't dyed (my mom doesn't eat the blue m&ms for the same reason--she thinks they're too "unnatural"-looking).
Now I can't stand to eat candy corn. What's even worse are those nasty pumpkins that come in the mix (although I used to bite all the stems off of those when I was little, too). I'm glad I know better now.
magmcadam at 10:18AM on 10/31/08
I must say, whatever one thinks of candy corn in reality, those imaginary candy corn illustrations are amazing.
anglerfish96 at 7:58PM on 10/31/08