Weekend Book Giveaway: 'The Saucier's Apprentice'
It's Saturday, and what would be a Saturday on Serious Eats without a food book giveaway? The subtitle of Bob Spitz's The Saucier's Apprentice says it all: One Long Strange Trip through the Great Cooking Schools of Europe. Spitz, the author of the ridiculously well-reported group biography The Beatles, is a serious home cook who sets out on a self-guided and well-researched tour of European cooking classes that functions rather well as a journey of self-discovery. If you've ever indulged in a similar fantasy, you will appreciate Spitz's engaging storytelling ability. And even if you haven't, by the time the book ends, you might at the very least entertain such a notion. He even throws in a few recipes he learned along the way, including an irresistible tabouli with zucchini, mint, and boiled egg you will want to make.
We're giving away five (5) copies of The Saucier's Apprentice. All you have to do is tell us your most embarrassing cooking story here in the comments of this post.
Contest will end and comments will close at noon ET, Monday, September 15, 2008. One entry per community member. The standard Serious Eats contest rules apply.
Comments are closed: 116 Comments:
I used to be in the cooking biz and have loads of funny stories hahaha
I think the most funny/embarrassing one involved eggs! We had a huge catering function and I was on the egg station. I had ran out of eggs and went back to cooler to get 3 more flats . In order to get back to my station ,I had to cross the room (in front of ) like 500 ppls attending this function. I have no clue what I tripped over, but I fell backwards with the eggs going up in the air...coming back down all over the front of me and
several of the guest that were near. I was a total mess !!!! Nothing like standing up with tons of egg goo dripping off of me hahahha
pamelakrest at 12:20PM on 09/13/08
I think it was when I made a chicken and rice casserole and forgot to put the rice in it. I put it on the table and thought it was a bit soupy but it might be ok and then it dawned on me. There wasn't any rice in it. I put some minute rice in there, threw it back in the oven for ten minutes or so and it turned out not toooo bad.
blueviolet at 12:30PM on 09/13/08
Probably the time I decided to make apple pie at my grandma's house... I get everything under way, everything assembled, a beautiful woned crust covering the top of the goregous apples... looked into the over about 1/2 way through, grandma looking over my shoulder, to see what [at the time] seemed like a swarm of weeviles swimming among the crosshatches.... I was devastated [it was my mom's birthday, I was 15 or 16] - but we clandestinely skimmed the nasties off ["they won't hurt anyone", she said...] and served each slice with overloads of ice cream - it's still our little secret.... it still grosses me out.
sakuraa at 12:30PM on 09/13/08
when i was but a budding foodie, a girlfriend and i invited our boyfriends to dinner. we thought we were all that and a sack of lightly roasted hickory nuts dusted with sea salt, but the truth was, we knew nothing.
she prepared her pasta side dish just as the recipe described: with 6 cloves of garlic. problems begin when one doesn't know a clove from a bulb...
i was in charge of the main dish: a nice chateaubriand. didn't know a loin from hamburger, sadly, and didn't know that frozen meat took so long to defrost! for future reference, the rinse cycle on your dishwasher is not a good method for speeding up that process.
luckily these boys had a sense of humor. we all ended up in the backyard eating watermelon and doing shots of unicum.
ps. about 8 weeks later, we had watermelon wines sprouting from the side of the garage and the scent of garlic remained well into autumn.
kikihellman at 12:30PM on 09/13/08
In the summer of '79 I was cooking at a YMCA camp for the summer. One morning we put a huge batch of real oatmeal into the double boiler and set it for low heat for a slow cook. After breakfast, it never occured to us we hadn't served the planned oatmeal. We then prepped and served lunch. During lunch cleanup someone mumbled, "What's that smell?" It took a few minutes, but we finally discovered the dried-out oatmeal. It was seriously rank! The lead cook and I carried the pot out to the dumpster, with the handles over our shoulders so we couldn't smell it. Heaving it up and into the dumpster, one of us slipped ... and we both ended up partly covered with the stuff. Talk about a Bog of Eternal Stench! After we both changed clothes, the clothes also ended up in the dumpster. The pot ended up in the basment overnight so we could no longer smell it, soaking with soapy water.
LunaPierCook at 12:41PM on 09/13/08
When I lived in a group house in DC, our oven spent three or four months having temperamental fits. These inevitably occurred whenever I was having people over for dinner. Probably the most embarassing was the uncooked chicken served with finesse to my roommate's new girlfriend, but the cookies we ended up microwaving run a close second
xaire at 12:47PM on 09/13/08
I was having a group of 6 friends over. They were visiting from Japan. I attempted to cook them authentic Japanese food, including sashimi. 3hrs later, we all discovered (nearly simultaneously) that there had been food poisoning.
hungrykat at 12:54PM on 09/13/08
I was trying a new recipe - Nigella Lawson's Chocolate Guiness Cake, and just t be safe, I made two.
Lucky for me.
The recipe calls for the batter to be heated in a saucepan to help cook off the alcohol in the Guiness. First time around, I got distracted and ended up with a half-cooked cake batter that I decided to bake anyway. Second time around, I got it pretty much right.
After baking both of them, one turned out well and the other was an uneven mess, full of lumps.
So of course, when I had friends and family taste them, everyone liked the lumpy one better!
ConschBTJ at 1:02PM on 09/13/08
We were proud newlyweds and first time homeowners when my cousin from Denmark brought his family to Texas for a week long visit at our home. I was so excited to stretch out my legs for the first time as hostess and lady of the house. I wanted to welcome them with a traditional Texas summertime meal and decided on fajitas with all the fixings and lots of margaritas and cold beer. My husband agreed to handle the grilling if I marinated and prepared the meat, so while the others were outside sipping their cocktails I got to work on the chicken and flank steak taking great care to season the meat perfectly and cut everything into perfect strips. When I took the platters of meat out to be grilled and handed them proudly to my husband he looked at me quizzically before erupting in laughter. It never dawned on me that you cut the meat after grilling it. The Danes have come back every year and every year they tease and ask for fajitas.
leah4hand at 1:02PM on 09/13/08
I was making a cake for my friend's birthday and carelessly added 1/2 cup of salt to the batter. Oh, the horror I experienced when people bit into the cake and tried to hide their grimaces!
cochon at 1:08PM on 09/13/08
I don't even remember why, but as a teenager, I decided to boil some milk in my mother's favorite frying pan. I thought the larger surface area would speed up the process.. Anyway, I inevitably became distracted and wound up with a pan full of caked-on mess. Ahhh, the maternal retribution...
miamia at 1:08PM on 09/13/08
I was making a crawfish boil. Huge pot on a burner outside for a party of about 25 friends and family. Most of them had arrived to watch me put it together. Somebody asked me what the bag of spices was that I pulled from a box. I explained it was a crab boil spice mix. Told them it smelled wonderful. To demonstrate, I put the bag squarely on both nostrils and inhaled deeply.
About an hour later, I had mostly recovered after injecting cayenne pepper and whatnot directly into my mucous membranes. Tears, drool and snot covering my face. The pain was so intense and of a specific nature which I find hard to describe, that I went into choking fits of laughter which made it difficult to breathe. I was also making strange squealing noises like a cybernetic organism dying. Needless to say, there were laughs aplenty at my expense.
It was rather funny, I don't blame them.
spanklin at 1:10PM on 09/13/08
I put a croissant from the bakery still in its paper bakery bag in the toaster and it lit up in spectacular and colorful flames. No more croissant... In my defense, I was thinking of the paper bag as parchment paper and I had definitely seen those "fish in a bag" recipes so I thought I would be alright. I guess not!
musicalpandibear at 1:22PM on 09/13/08
I was going to roast some chicken wings. I was busy talking to the company while I was preparing the wings for the oven. I slathered them with olive oil, so I thought, and shoved them into the oven.
A moment later I was at the sink washing my hands when I realized that I had used the the dish soap instead of the olive oil. I quickly grabbed the wings from the oven and gave them a rinse, well a wash really. When they were finally less soapy, I made sure that it was olive oil and tossed them back in the oven. Thank god for Frank's Red Hot because they tasted fine.
Needless to say, I was very embarrassed and never again am I going to keep yellowish dish soap in an clear glass bottle. It is always going to be in its original container from now on.
We have had many laughs about that, and I am sure that everyone at that party did not have to eat fiber cereal for a week.
passion4eating at 1:24PM on 09/13/08
That would be my first job in a professional kitchen when I was 20 and in college. The pastry chef stopped me one day to say, "Usually, we carry knives around the kitchen like this," showing me how to carry the knife pointy side down, flat side against my thigh. "Why? How was I carrying it?" I asked. "You were carrying it like this," he said, wielding the knife pointy side out, like a sword. Oops.
amandafetters at 1:43PM on 09/13/08
When I was younger, I was having a sleepover at my best friend, V's, house. V wanted to make peanut butter bars and begged her mom to let us make them all on our own without adult help. She agreed, and stayed out of the kitchen. We carefully read the recipe. "One cup salt". We both double checked it and swore that's what it said, so in one cup of salt went.
They came out of the oven, all golden brown and looking delicious and we spread the chocolate over the top and let them cool.
I had never had these before, so V cut me a huge piece. I took a bite, carefully chewed it, swallowed, then asked for a glass of water. I was too polite to tell them I thought they tasted awful, so V and her mom both took a bite. Their noses wrinkled and V told me they weren't supposed to taste like that. Her mom asked us what we did, and we showed her the recipe....which actually said on it one teaspoon salt...we had both seen the C on the following line for the sugar when we read the recipe.
When her mom wrote down the recipe for me to take home, she deliberately left off the salt, and everytime I cook using a new recipe, I get teased by anyone who knows the story to make sure I check the salt amount!
AnnaOnTheMoon at 1:51PM on 09/13/08
My most embarrassing moment was making a roast chicken for my then husband's best friend, who was visiting with his brand new wife. The table was set, we were eating in the living room in front of the fire, and the friend pulls up on his fork, the 'diaper' that comes with the chicken to absorb juices! I was very embarrassed and apologetic, for this wasn't the first time I had goofed with this person. A few years earlier I had made a simple meal of baked kidney beans and for some reason he took one bite and ran to the bathroom. Apparently I had put too much salt in the pot and sickened my friend. I haven't heard from him since. Michael, I do apologize!
rosiemoo at 2:19PM on 09/13/08
It was my first Thanksgiving as an 18 year old newlywed bride. I was so excited to host the most holy of foodie holidays by myself and impress the family. I bought an 18 pound turkey, prepped it, stuffed it and stuck it in the oven. I spent the rest of the day fussing over the many side dishes. Five hours later the apartment smelled wonderful! When the bell rang, all 12 of my guests sat down to a perfectly designed Norman Rockwell table. I asked my new 19 year old hubby to do the honors and carve the turkey with the shiny new carving set.
He tried his best to carve it properly, but he kept hitting something. We were all baffled, but I tried to keep my cool. He got down to take a peek inside. It was just sausage and apple stuffing after all! He pulled out all the stuffing and there in the deepest crevices of the turkey was all its innards. The totally cooked neck, liver and giblets were stuffed up as far as they could go, still in the bags! Poor turkey!
Everyone had quite a laugh on me! To this day, some 30 years later, I still get razzed about my first Thanksgiving. Funny thing is, when I finally grew up, I turned out to be quite the sophisticated foodie with my own wholesale bakery and catering company! Who's laughing now?
cruisingkitty at 2:35PM on 09/13/08
The white chocolate layer cake I made when I was 22 for my then boyfriend's birthday. Let's just say that the icing acted as the mortar, and if I had made many more layers, I could have built a wall.
amaLosAngeles at 2:54PM on 09/13/08
I invited several friends from my daughter's school for an "American" Chinese dinner. Cooked the spareribs for sweet and sour pork and, when they were ready to serve, discovered they were made from salted pork and the results were inedible. We were living in Newfoundland at the time where salted meat is common. The butcher didn't tell me the meat had been "cured". The ribs should have been soaked first. We made do with the rest of the meal ans the kids teased me about it for months.
suegsf at 3:04PM on 09/13/08
In high school I made a recipe from the time life african cookbook, a lamb dish with dried fruit. I brought it to a party. It was in a pyrex casserole dish. I put it on the stove to reheat it, not realizing that you could not put pyrex on the stove. The dish exploded and made a big mess of the kitchen and of course we could not eat it.
karen r at 3:06PM on 09/13/08
When my sister & I were around 9 & 11 years old, we woke up early the day after Thanksgiving and decided to reheat some of the homemade applesauce. We warmed it in a pan just fine, but when I went to taste it I spit it out in the sink immediately. "I think it's gone rancid," I said. My sister was sure I was overreacting, so I had her try it. Same thing-disgusting beyond words. We tried adding more sugar and cinnamon in hopes of improving it, but to no avail, so we tossed it. We mentioned it to my Mom later that morning and shrugged it off. A day or two later my Mom realized that we in fact mistook the gravy for the applesauce!
gastronomeg at 3:51PM on 09/13/08
i had a large group of friends over several months back. i am almost always talking about cooking so needless to say the expectations were high. now im no super chef but i can usually churn out a pretty decent meal. well things started to get a little hectic in the kitchen as everything was taking longer than i thought. i hurried as fast as i could while trying not to burn the outside of my chicken. well....in my haste i didnt cook it enough and when one patron brought it to my attention i was horrified! after taking them back to cook longer they became horribly dry! it was a long time after that before i even had the nerves to ask my friends over for dinner again :(
hoff_83 at 4:54PM on 09/13/08
One of the first times I decided my Chinese cooking prowess was sufficient to cook for other people, I announced to my roommate that she would be treated that night to a dinner of stir-fried green beans, vermicelli with dried shrimp, and steamed rice (nothing fancy -- we were in college). It was my first time making green beans (ever), but I figured it couldn't possibly be that difficult. Just throw the beans in the pan, right? Along with some minced garlic and a little oil? Of course, I had somehow overlooked all the times my mother had pre-steamed them first, and that night we sat down to a plateful of green beans that were charred on the outside, way undercooked on the inside, and littered with burnt garlic specks. The roommate bravely savored every bite, even going back for seconds.
Many successful attempts later, she now admits openly that it really was as terrible as I had thought. And I've since never forgotten how to really cook the dish.
If baking stories are allowed, this one is much better/more horrific:
I'd grown up with Cantonese cooking; it was all my mother ever made, and she's a great cook. We never complained (or noticed) that none of our meals were ever prepared in the oven. To give you a good idea of how often we used it: to this day, the oven in her house is used for storage. So, lacking the knowledge of how to cook things in an oven, I decided one day in college to bake for my boyfriend. That's what all great girlfriends do, right? So, I set about gathering the ingredients for a pound cake (his favorite) and thought I had it in the bag. The pan went into the oven. I did some reading for school, thinking I had at least 40 minutes before I really had to check on it.
Half an hour later, I wandered into the kitchenette to get a glass of water. Out of curiosity, I peered into the oven -- and immediately turned it off. The 'cake' was everywhere. Batter covered the walls and racks of the oven in splotches, dripping and oozing down. The smell of butter and sugar permeated the apartment for days (this was not so objectionable -- maybe the best part of the ordeal, really). I patted myself on the back for having the foresight to do a test run before Valentine's Day, and went about trying to find another present.
In the next few days, I cleaned out the oven. And I vowed never to make pound cake again.
It's been a year since The Incident, but I still can't bring myself to turn on the oven. There's always next year.
annerska at 5:29PM on 09/13/08
Both of my embarrassing cooking disasters revolve around the same recipe - chicken paprika. It's a recipe I've made numerous times before with no problems whatsoever, but for some reason, it's also the recipe that I can most easily destroy.
The first time I did it was on a day where things had been going wrong at work, and we were beseiged with ants at home, and I was tired and cranky and slamming things around in the kitchen. I've made this recipe so many times before that I wasn't really paying much attention when I grabbed the box of cornstarch out of the cupboard and tossed in just enough to thicken the sauce. The second I stirred it in, I realized my mistake, but by then the dish began to bubble ominously, in a volcanic sort of way, as the baking soda (which unfortunately comes in a box very similar in shape and color to the cornstarch) reacted with the tomato sauce, and the smell that began to emerge was very, very wrong. I tried to tell myself that it was still somehow edible but as we stood there and stared at it, none of us could muster up the courage to take a bite.
It wasn't long after that that I tried to make the recipe again. This time I was very careful to select the right orange box out of the cupboard. However, I mixed up another look-alike pair of ingredients - this time the paprika and the chili powder - the recipe calls for a teaspoon of one, but several tablespoons of the other. We only discovered that little mix-up when we took our first bite, however, and then promptly began breathing fire.
I've made chicken paprika a few times since then, but I'm always a little paranoid about all the ingredients now.
Jenipurr at 5:50PM on 09/13/08
All of my cookng stories are embarassing :) Once, I tried to make this potatoe soup, which turned into a huge, lumpy pot of awful tasting mush! That's the story of my cooking ability though :) Most new things I try turn out awful the frst time :D
Anastasia at 11:19PM on 09/13/08
Among my friends, I am known for my fried rice. The first time I cooked it for my wife, before we were married, I decided to use real crab instead of my usual fake crab (I have a few friends allergic, so fake is my usual). Well, I did not take into account how strong the flavor the same amount of real crab was and the whole dish tasted like crab. Fortunately she did not hold it against me and I have since been able to make it many times over with much better success.
kuromu at 11:36PM on 09/13/08
I was about 8 or 9 and just learning to cook so my dad let me make him a sandwich. He asked for a peanut butter and pickle sandwich, and jokingly, with "buttered pickles."
When it was taking far too long for a simple sandwich to be made, he came back and found me trying to spread butter on each wet little pickle slice! ;P
Even now I get reminded I don't need to butter the pickles for family sandwiches!
mikaque at 12:14AM on 09/14/08
Oh God. Once when I was in 8th or 9th grade, a friend and I were going to bake some sort of bread for our Spanish class for extra credit points. Well, we just couldn't understand why the dough remained liquid-y no matter how much we mixed it. We decided maybe it just had to be kneaded. Anyway, we poured out the dough and pathetically tried to knead liquid dough while it spread and dripped all over the counter. Turns out you have to add the rest of the flour to the bread mixture to obtain a dough-like consistency, but we even had to call my mom just to figure that one out.
deenarae0 at 12:15AM on 09/14/08
It was at my first dinner party at my new apartment. I served a roast pork loin with rosemary potatoes. Everything turned out beautifully until it was served. I didn't realize that my roommate's two guests were Jewish and couldn't eat pork! Now, I always check if there are any food "issues" with my invite list so my guests don't have to eat take-out chinese from the place down the street!
kgoods at 12:28AM on 09/14/08
I was making chili and thought it needed an additional sprinkle of some crushed red pepper flakes. When I opened the container and started to shake some out, the shaker lid came off and a LOT of pepper flakes went into the pot. That was some damn spicy chili.
disbelief11 at 12:41AM on 09/14/08
As an ambitious culinary student, I was assigned to make swiss meringue for some fruit tarts. Let's just say that the combination of bad recipe reading & using the wrong size mixing bowl; the meringue could not be contained by the mixer. It is always good when someone yells out "the meringue is alive." Let's just say I was the example of the day. It looked as though the mixing bowl had thrown up all over the floor. One of those humbling moments as a culinary student & a day that sticks with me to this day.
matttx76 at 2:01AM on 09/14/08
My mom made cookies. i had jusr moved in with them and she thought my powder sugar was flour..... the cookies made a great ice cream topping but never cookies
kathy55439 at 8:37AM on 09/14/08
I left the giblet packet in the chicken I made for Sunday dinner. In my defense, it was pretty crammed down into the bird.
cdziuba at 8:45AM on 09/14/08
i dropped an uncooked cheese cake all over the kitchen stove counter.
mverno at 9:04AM on 09/14/08
This doesn't rank up there with top disasters, but it's quite the joke in our family. When my granddaughters were small, they enjoyed cooking with me. Looking for new recipes, we bought a kids' cookbook with a recipe for "Cinnamon Noodles". The girls kept saying it looked "kind of odd", but I assured them all would be well after baking. Not. Whenever a dish doesn't come out quite right, they say "but it's not nearly as bad as the 'Cinnamon Noodles'".
Aisling at 9:04AM on 09/14/08
I tried to roast the chestnuts from outside our apartment in Germany. No one told me you have to score the shells first. They starting exploding all over the kitchen. Took me weeks to clean it all up. It was even on the ceiling!
theamira at 9:06AM on 09/14/08
I baked a cake and put it an the top of the stove to cool after it was done and the glass pan and cake busted all over my kitchen. That was a mess and was embarrasing.I was lucky I didn't get hurt real bad.
jmahurin40 at 9:33AM on 09/14/08
I haven't had any bad experiences but I had a friend who wasn't a cook try to help me one day and she tried to boil some potatoes without any water.
slb3334 at 9:47AM on 09/14/08
Not long after I started dating my (now) husband, his mother invited us for Rosh Hashanah dinner. In addition to celebrating the holiday, it would be a chance for all her friends to meet the shiksa her son had fallen for. Future mother-in-law asked me to bring an appetizer and I decided to show my stuff with a rather fancy chicken liver pate. At the dinner, everything was going swimmingly and all the guests were cooing over my meat spread. "How did you make it?" one asked. "Oh," I said to all the listening guests, "the secret to making it SO good... I soak the livers overnight in MILK!" Stunned silence. Pitying looks in the direction of my future MIL. What an idiot -- many Jews don't even let milk and meat in the same kitchen, forget about an all-night love romp in a tupperware. I knew that.
Luckily, no one there was strictly kosher. And eventually they all grew to like and embrace me. But that night there were doubts. Big-ass doubts.
pie hole at 10:02AM on 09/14/08
OK. Pick a winner. Let's go with substituting almond oil for almond extract. The error is that I stubbornly insisted on making my guests eat it even though our entire house smelled like almond oil and I knew I made a mistake.
I'm not embarassed about mixing up the ingredients - that can happen to anyone. I'm embarassed about my complete denial and inability to just adjust and move forward.
That was embarassing.
ky2here at 10:35AM on 09/14/08
My Dad, who was dying of lung cancer, asked me to make my almost famous cat fish. Unfortunately I grabbed the sugar and not the corn meal. The resulting mess was awful. The sugar burned and I lied to my Dad and said the fish was bad. I miss him and every time I cook cat fish I am reminded this embarrassing moment.
CarolHarrity at 10:42AM on 09/14/08
I'm not sure about embarrassing, but stupid does come to mind. On a hot summer day with onions wilting and ripening from the heat, I decided to dice them and put in to my dehydrator so they would not be lost. When several trays were filled, the dehydrator was turned on and I stood there as a proud cook who had solved a problem......but then the aroma started. Nice, but overpowering on a hot day. The house was evacuated for a long while.
mcnerd at 10:53AM on 09/14/08
One of the very first jobs I had was as a dishwasher in a nursing home. The chef needed to take some time off and decided to train me as his replacement--essentiallly I had never cooked before. All the recipes were pretty simple and clearly documented. He took a day off, I did OK and made an apple crisp for the next day. The recipe called for about a cup of "fat". Not knowing any better I used the bacon grease he was saving for "the birds". Thankfully he discovered my mistake before we made anyone ill.
beano at 10:55AM on 09/14/08
In the early years of marriage I was cooking for my inlaws and made my "specialty", macaroni and cheese. Well I was nervous and running late so grabbed a spice jar I thought was paprika for the top of the casserole. Baked and served it and the look on everyone's face at the first bite was priceless-I made apparently grabbed cayenne pepper instead...............
alycep06 at 11:19AM on 09/14/08
once when making pasta it started overflowing. So, in order to make sure it didn't boil over, I added some salt. And some more and some more and some more... IN the end, the difference between the pasta and a salt lick was minimal and I was pretty embarrassed.
Happyhusky27 at 12:39PM on 09/14/08
blew the microwave door off and had a chicken fly and stick in the wall- learn to take off metal binds
sandy89 at 12:47PM on 09/14/08
When I was in college my boyfriend and I decided to treat our friends to a nice brunch. We worked very hard at making a nice eggs benedict. Unfortunately the english muffins were as hard as rocks. We soon began flinging them around like frisbees. Luckily no one was injured in our cooking attempt.
miaj8 at 12:51PM on 09/14/08
I made lasagna one time and I have the same spice bottles for my spices. I keep cinnammon and sweet stuff in a separate cupboard from the usual spices. My husnabd must have moved the cinnammon one to the other side so I wanted to put cayenne pepper in my lasagna, and since they have the sam glass bottle and similair color, I put a whole bunch of cinnammon in lasagna.
I had no idea even when we were eating it, I could taste something weird, but didn't know what it was unitl few days later I saw that cinnammon was in the wrong cupboard.
But, my mother-in-law really liked that lasagna and wanted me to give her the recipe, and once I learned that a whole buch of cinnammon was in it I was embarassed to tell her that I made a mistake, I just gave her the recipe, including cinnammon as an ingreident. She made it and loved it.
Few months later I told her the whole story. We had a laugh over it.
MajaMeza79 at 12:55PM on 09/14/08
I had just gotten engaged. I invited my soon to be husband to join my mom and I for Christmas Eve dinner.I wanted to show him that I could cook a greaet holiday meal. When I took the green beans out of the oven, they tipped over on the floor and dumped out everywhere. I actually scooped the beans on top back up and put them in a serving dish. Great guy that he was and is, my fiance pretended not to notice.
fangirl at 1:29PM on 09/14/08
I'm Cajun and love spicy food. I was making Jambalya for some friends one night and we were drinking wine while cooking. I was adding Cajun Seasoning a little at a time and accidentally spilled about a handful of seasoning into the dish at one time. The dish was too hot for me to even eat and I had to throw it away. Taught me not to drink too much wine while cooking. My friends still tease me to this day about my spicy food.
SeahorseLady at 2:14PM on 09/14/08
I was giving a birthday party for my youngest daughter . It was after school and we were having a few friends and family over . I was running late and was hurrying to get the cake done . Waiting for the cake to cool , and realizing how tired I'd become , I decided to move the cake from the counter to the table so I could frost it while sitting . As I twirled around , cake in hand , to place it on the table , the cake ( apparently still warm ) slid off the plate , turned over mid-air and landed HARD on the floor . I watched as the TOO WARM cake completely shattered into a mass of crumbs . There was NO WAY to fix this . After staring at it for quite awhile , I had to dust-pan it up , toss it and call the nearest bakery and BEG for a cake . Bakery cake and I arrived home the same time as the guests .........NO lying about who baked it . They had a good laugh when I told them what had just transpired ........I had a headache !
foodie51 at 2:34PM on 09/14/08
During college my roommate decided to boil a frozen chicken; thus, skipping the whole boring defrosting phase. She also decided to spend the day and night at her boyfriend's apartment leaving the chicken nightmare to bubble away on our shared stove. Unfortunately, I was not home at the time to intervene. I was, however, the first person to arrive home...excepting the fire department. I pulled up just in time to see a fireman kick in my front door and watch smoke bellowing out of the windows. Luckily, there was just a lot of smoke damage and nothing but the chicken, pot, stove top, and front door needed to be replaced. So, while this is not ultimately my cooking embarrassment, try telling that to the fire department who very much doubted my protestations of innocence.
BrunswickStew at 2:47PM on 09/14/08
One Thanksgiving, I used too small of a roasting pan for too large of a turkey. The fatty juices spilled over the edge of the pan and caused a grease fire in my oven. My quick thinking hubby doused the flames with flour and saved the day but before I could continue dinner preparations I had to clean the oven and clear the kitchen of smoke. Dinner was delayed and that year the turkey had a slight smoky taste but the day was enjoyed and remembered by all.
toodlelou at 3:28PM on 09/14/08
it was cooking thanksgiving turkey while the giblet bag was still inside the bird that was most embaressing
fancyfeet48 at 3:37PM on 09/14/08
I'd have to say it's one of the many times I've walked away from the oven while toasting garlic bread. Very bad idea. Burned bread, smoke alarms blaring, guests coughing. Not a pretty dinner party.
And, if it had only happened once, it wouldn't be at all embarrassing. After all, mistakes happen. But the fact that it's happened often enough that I've become "known" for it... and the fact that everyone finds it so "amusing" because "you're normally such a great cook"... well... that is definitely embarrassing.
LoCo at 3:43PM on 09/14/08
I’ve had numerous disasters in the kitchen, but one stands the test of time as the funniest kitchen horror story of my “career.” It was Easter time, and I found a fun recipe in the paper for chocolate-coated cream eggs. I had no problem with the filling, but the chocolate coating just was not sticking. It kept sliding off. I eventually discovered that if I let the chocolate cool, I could pack it on by hand, rather like making a snowball. The finished eggs were attractive, with a dark gloss. After dinner, I proudly presented my special dessert. At the first bite, we discovered the problem. There was a blur in the newsprint, and rather than the intended half block of paraffin in the coating, I used half of a box. No wonder the coating wouldn’t stick! Thirty-five years later, the family still refers to this as “Lisa’s Chocolate Crayon Dessert!”
lisaray at 4:02PM on 09/14/08
I was busy getting dinner ready and grilling chicken when my mom asked what she could do to help. I asked her if she could take out the Romaine lettuce and a couple of lemons from the fridge and start on the salad. I heard her burst out laughing and she emerged from the fridge holding up a box of chilled condoms. "Is this a new type of condiment?" she asked. I was mortified! Apparently, they were placed in the fridge when my daughter decided to help daddy put away the groceries. Awkward moment at the time, but pretty funny now.
yankeesgal at 4:54PM on 09/14/08
Cooking horrors?..How about the time I cooked a fresh chicken and forgot to take out that paper packet of "innards"?...Not only did the paper catch fire, but the stuff inside set up a horrible smoking stench...ewww! I didn't roast a chicken for months without my husband asking if I checked for "innards" first.
ronnifox at 5:00PM on 09/14/08
Had the in-laws over for chicken on the outdoor rotisserie, and all was going well until the propane tank ran out and I didn't notice because I was inside. So, yeah, the chickens were late being served, and I was getting comments about the lateness of dinner...but I didn't see any choice except putting on a new tank and continuing the cooking until they were done. Not like beef where rareness is a virtue.
dbcurrie at 5:04PM on 09/14/08
Luckily I haven't had too many bad kitchen experiences. The one that sticks out in my mind the most is when I tried to make a college boyfriend some clam chowder from scratch. I thought I would be fancy and bough fresh clams..and cooked them in the shell...um..yuck! The soup actually tasted ok..but it was a little strange to see the shells floating around....Zoe
zoehunter at 5:11PM on 09/14/08
Well, I still don't think it was my fault, but it was embarrassing. I had purchased one of those huge frozen pizzas from the grocery store, and it said that if I wanted a crispy crust that I should put it directly on the oven rack. I was dubious, but I reread the instructions, and that's what it said. I set the timer, and when it went off I went to get the pizza out of the oven. It had completely melted all through the racks and fallen to the floor of the oven where it was a half burned, half goopy mess. It took me FOREVER to clean it up, and I still have no idea what I did wrong. My family thought it was hilarious (but I didn't).
Alicia Webster
5webs@comcast.net
5webs at 5:19PM on 09/14/08
years ago, i made a very fancy meal with the entree, poached salmon in aspic.. to this day, when the subject inevitably surfaces, it is referred to as 'Jelled Meat'
chromiumman at 5:33PM on 09/14/08
The Crown Roast almost fell on the floor as I was taking it out of the oven.
saturdaynightfever at 5:38PM on 09/14/08
When I was first married, I did NOT know how to cook. I just followed recipes and hoped for the best. The first time I made lasagne, the recipe I used failed to mention boiling the lasagne first, so I just put the stiff pasta into the baking pan. It was not good.
toastworthy at 6:04PM on 09/14/08
My extended family -- all great cooks -- descended on my home for a Sunday afternoon meal. Being very poor and VERY expecting, I decided to build a giant pizza with a bunch of toppings and two types of cheeses. It looked delicious and smelled wonderful as I attempted to pull it out of the oven. As I manipulated the pizza to the baking rack, I lost control of it and the pizza slid upside down on our deplorable kitchen carpet. Let's just say we were so poor that the six-second rule applied and everyone started picking up the pieces and molding them back into the shape of a pizza. It wasn't beautiful, but it still tasted great. However, thirty years later it is still one of the fun family stories we all tell.
skytoucher at 6:09PM on 09/14/08
Pride goes before a Fall
My husand and I once hosted a from-scratch TexMex dinner for another young couple. It was the typical TexMex "Wednesday Special": Enchiladas, refried beans, and rice, but all home-made. What delicious ancho sauce on the enchiladas! Just as we all finished-- everyone stuffed full, our friends impressed, me really smug-- our elderly German Shepherd ambled in, paused right in front of us and took a runny, German Shepherd-sized dump. From Everything Nice to Everybody Nauseated in 5 seconds flat.
SallyMutant at 6:31PM on 09/14/08
When I was little, I made sugar cookies with my best friend. While she read the recipe, I added in the ingredients. When she said that the recipe called for 1/4 c of salt, I questioned if she read it right. She exclaimed that it was exactly what was written in the recipe. So, I added in the 1/4 c of salt. After the cookies baked and cooled, we were excited to try the cookies. We both took a cookie, bit into it and made the worst face ever. They were terrible! She checked the recipe and noted that it was 1/4 tsp not 1/2 c!
atreau at 6:40PM on 09/14/08
Cooking a Turkey and the oven wasn't on
dolls123 at 6:44PM on 09/14/08
basic, happens to most new cooks: the salt and sugar switcheroo! but not so funny when you're trying to impress a new friend...
gorzd at 8:20PM on 09/14/08
A couple years ago my boyfriend and I decided to make a pumpkin pie from scratch for dessert for Christmas. His mom, who loves that we cook together, bragged to everyone that was coming over that we were making a pie from scratch, not from a mix, etc, etc. Pie comes out of the oven and it looks beautiful and smells beautiful, and we are all proud of ourselves. Evidently we were not the only ones who thought the pie looked wonderful, the dog did too, and she helped herself to half of the pie before anyone found her! When it was time for dessert, everyone wanted to know what happened to the fancy, home-made pie they had heard so much about. We told them if they really wanted, there was some left, tooth marks and dog hair included.
agk685 at 9:13PM on 09/14/08
Count me in
yadgirl at 9:32PM on 09/14/08
Several years ago I was heating oil in wok for stir fry and turned my back for a couple of minutes. Bad idea. Suddenly flames are reaching half way to the ceiling, the smoke detectors sounding and the kids are screaming. Grabbed the baking soda and quickly got it out but the kitchen was full of smoke and the ceiling was black. Had to leaving the windows open all night to air out and repaint the ceiling. Couple of days later it was my birthday and one of my friends thought it was appropriate to give me a fire extinguisher as a gift. Still have it to this day and never another need to use it.
slcrose at 9:44PM on 09/14/08
I used to love experimenting in the kitchen when I was little. I can recall a particularly horrible result that we deemed "frog cookies". Not only had I loaded them up with food coloring, but they were so dense and rubbery they actually bounced!
merlee18 at 9:54PM on 09/14/08
I took a cooking class on how to make a perfect souffle. I asked my friends over to show them what I learned. I opened the oven--and there it was chocolate souffle soup. UGH!!!!!!!!!!
fshapiro at 10:00PM on 09/14/08
I bought some Greek yogurt for a tarragon-lemon yogurt sauce I wanted to serve with grilled salmon. It took us a few bites before we realized something was up... I used vanilla-flavored yogurt instead of plain.
gogocroquette at 10:19PM on 09/14/08
I grew up eating perfectly cooked rice from a rice cooker. The first time I tried to make minute rice in a pot in someone else's kitchen, it was mush.
anonymoose at 11:15PM on 09/14/08
My boyfriend and I baked a pumpkin pie for a pot-luck Thanksgiving dinner. My boyfriend isn't a regular in the kitchen, and is even worse at baking...so he put me in charge of giving him tasks to do. We set out all the ingredients on to the kitchen table and started following the recipe. The pie looked great when it came out.
That evening...
We had a great Thanksgiving dinner with a dozen friends...now, came time for dessert. We had a fair spread of desserts at the table, so almost everyone took a sliver or spoonfull of each dessert. When we tasted the pumpkin pie, my eyes bulged and were tell-tale signs that something was wrong...we had forgotten to add sugar!
jpark107 at 11:28PM on 09/14/08
I didn't know that electric ovens had to be vented when using the broiler, and I caught a filet on fire. I had to blow and blow on the steak to get the flame out. The filet WAS edible, BTW!
missm at 11:34PM on 09/14/08
Someone at work gave me a bushel of fresh pecans, so I shelled them while watching television. I took a beautiful pecan pie to the Thanksgiving dinner, and my sister bit down, screamed, then had blood running from her mouth. Apparently, I didn't shell as well as I thought I had!
Lisbethl at 11:51PM on 09/14/08
I made a cake for my Grandma's birthday. The entire family was there when we found out that I had put in too much salt. I thought the recipe said Tablespoon but it was actually a teaspoon.
agsweeps at 11:57PM on 09/14/08
The kids helped me make a quick scrambled egg meal for us and a guest. We couldn't figure out why we were getting little hint tastes of mint.....till we realized it was chewed up gum they got in the bowl as the eggs were getting beaten. I just wanted to die on the spot.
maggie0352 at 1:18AM on 09/15/08
for my wife's birthday one year i decided to make some gumbo...never making it before i followed a recipe...it amazingly turned out great except...the easiest part...the rice turned out bad...i still have no clue what i did...must have been too little water...none the less it was great tasting if you could just get the hard rice down your throat...gahhh
rdazer at 2:12AM on 09/15/08
A few weeks ago, I was trying to make a chocolate zuchinni cake from some zuchinni that a co-worker brought in. I completely forgot to put the baking soda in, so the cake did not rise AT ALL! Needless to say, I didn't bring that to work. I asked the person for anothe couple of zuchinnis and made it properly the next time!
elangomatt at 2:12AM on 09/15/08
On Thanksgiving, I mistakenly added salt instead of sugar into the pumpkin pie filling. Even the greedy raccoons rejected it.
salty at 2:37AM on 09/15/08
Last year Thanksgiving was preparing a side dish of scalloped corn which asked for a package of cornbread muffin mix. We were sitting at the table, I tasted it and couldn't figure out why it tasted so funny when discovered that instead of cornbread mix had used apple cinnamon muffin mix. Could not be salvaged.
rdoor at 5:31AM on 09/15/08
When I was little, I wanted to make some Malt o Meal Muffins. I remember they tasted horrid..because I put TBSPs of baking soda instead of tsps.
I also once managed to set a microwave on fire because of foil paper.
princessvessna at 5:59AM on 09/15/08
It has to be the time I made a strawberry rhubarb pie to bring to a friend's dinner party when I wanted to make it look pretty and clean up the burned bits on the top. I preceeded to scrape, the whole pie went flying right into the garbage can that was at the end of the counter. Needless to say that pie never made it to our friends and we had to stop at a local bakery on the way there.
trishden at 6:36AM on 09/15/08
I was a waitress. I was carrying a tray of cheese and brocolli soup. I slipped and up went five bowls of soup all over me and the neighboring tables. What a mess.
idahomom at 7:56AM on 09/15/08
I wanted to make a special cake for my husband . I put grape koolaid in a chocolate cake. He ad a strange look on his face when he ate it like "Um it's good. What is it? garrettsambo@aol.com
garrettsambo at 8:08AM on 09/15/08
I made mushroom risotto for a group of very skint, very inebriated students in my uni days, substituting rice pudding mix for arborio since we were none the wiser as well as the rice pudding mix being cheaper...
bklee at 8:28AM on 09/15/08
I made chocolate cookies and they tasted very strange-I had used salt rather than sugar!
susanchester at 8:30AM on 09/15/08
I set out to make penne with vodka sauce one evening, thinking that I had plain vodka in the fridge. Since I tend to cook very quickly and don't always pay the most attention, it wasn't until sitting down and eating the sauce later that I realized I had used watermelon vodka. ew. ew ew. I haven't even thought about making vodka sauce since.
beegoode at 8:57AM on 09/15/08
Many many years ago, I was asked, at a party to cook the chicken liver-wrapped-in bacon (see how long ago this was??) appetizers. The oven was on, but not working well and the bacon DID look cooked, but unfortunately the chicken livers were quite raw, as I found out after several guests popped them into their mouths.
tillacat at 9:13AM on 09/15/08
I had the "great idea" to make stuffed chicken. So I pounded out the breasts, layered them with cheese and veggies, and rolled them up neatly. Then I secured them with toothpicks. Rainbow toothpicks. Dinner that evening was very festively colored... I don't know what I was thinking. It was a very blue soup Bridget Jones moment.
Erin at 10:06AM on 09/15/08
I can't think of any embarrassing cooking stories at the moment.
lilyk at 10:29AM on 09/15/08
You might also read the original "Saucier's Apprentice" by Raymond Sokolow, published in 1976. Subtitled "A Modern Guide to Classic French Sauces for the Home," it's a tour de force, and a must for every serious cook. I haven't read Spitz's, but am I alone in tiring of all the many post-modern permutations of food books? I'm a food blogger myself, and a voracious reader of literary food crap. But as my stomach has distended from too much good food, I feel a similar pressure on brain from too many food magazines and clever personal stories about cooking/eating. Or maybe it's just Monday and I'm cranky.
pcullie at 10:32AM on 09/15/08
As a young baker still learning (and confusing) my Ts and Cs, I put 1/4 cup of salt in a chocolate cake instead of 1/4 teaspoon.
The family still ribs me about it to this day.
Mitzi at 10:49AM on 09/15/08
I had invited six friends to stay over for the holiday of Sukkot. I decided that the best thing to do was to make one really large bird instead of several smaller ones, so I acquired a turkey. When I was picking spices out of the cabinet with which to season it I thought I recalled something about using some powdered chicken soup starter. Forgetting that that was something to do later to make gravy, I added several shakes of the powder to the mix of onion, paprika, etc. that I was rubbing under the skin. When the turkey came out of the oven it was moist when cut and smelled wonderful. When I served it and finally took a bite I realized that the powdered soup mix was probably a bad idea. It was the saltiest thing I have ever cooked. So embarrassing. Unfortunately that wasn't the only bad thing to happen that weekend. There was a chicken soup incident. I can't even go into it.
Stufsocker at 11:14AM on 09/15/08
End goal: Pumpkin pie. Started with: Normal pumpkin, which we carved, cleaned, and put into a pie crust to bake.
Never did that again. Apparently baking needs recipes.
pookywookyster at 11:21AM on 09/15/08
Making my first homemade chicken soup for company. Everything is going well. One of the last steps-drain broth and return to pan...and then debone cooked chicken. Forgot to put a PAN UNDER the strainer...broth went right down the sink. I had chicken and a few carrots...soup-gone!
Dinner-take out pizza!
mama43 at 11:33AM on 09/15/08
I was giving a demo on how to make apple crisp. Well, the apples I bought had very weak cores, so after the third apple failed in my apple corer/peeler/slicer, I decided to make pear crisp instead. Oh, well. Turned out fine.
cowleyh at 11:43AM on 09/15/08
When I met my husband one of the first things I told him was not to expect a domestic goddess and that I hoped he liked just the basics for cooking because that was about all I could do. I honestly don't think he believed me until one evening when I was boiling some water for pasta and I forgot about it because I got to doing other things. Needless to say that when I finally noticed was when he noticed that there was an empty pot on the stove and the inside was chipping off. After the initial shock wore off he turned to me and said that he now believed me and would I like to go out to dinner.
beausdorei at 11:48AM on 09/15/08
I don't have an awful lot of cooking mishaps in my history - probably because I take such things far too seriously. The worst thing I've done lately is adjusting to a gas oven - it seems to get hotter than electrics and I've overtoasted garlic cheese bread a couple of times and overcrisped the skin of a roasted chicken.
lritz at 2:06PM on 09/15/08
I don't have one, sorry :(
gkran at 2:09PM on 09/15/08
The most embarrassing thing I've ever done was to accidentally put salt instead of sugar in the Thanksgiving cranberries...since I was one of the last ones to try them, I was totally confused by the looks on everyone's face. I didn't know eyebrows could raise that high.
jkusina at 5:09PM on 09/15/08
When I married I was pretty confident in my cooking skills. The second year we were married I found out there were till things I had to learn. That year I decided to have my in laws over for Christmas dinner. I would make most of it with just a couple of my sister in laws adding a dish . Thing is I had never prepared or cooked a Turkey on my own. It was always my mom's job. So Christmas eve i'm getting the Turkey ready and was very upset because MY Turkey didn't have any giblets and I always made my special sage dressing with giblets. I grit my teeth and made the dressing without giblets. Early Christmas morning we opened gifts ad I put on my apron and started cooking, The pies were beautifl the Turkey golden and I was still bemoaning the fact that my dressing was missing the giblets when my oldest sister in law was the first to arrive. She called me to the kitchen and my almost done turkey and showed me where they were hidden at the Other end of the bird. Boy did i blush!! The embarrasement would have ended there, except my loving husband had to tell everyone who walked thru the door about it LOL
Dove420 at 5:22PM on 09/15/08
give your self and roomates food posining, just once... And It will haunt your dinner table at the most inappropriate times FOREVER!
Colengal at 6:36PM on 09/15/08
I hate to say, even with 7 years working as a cook I can't really remember any embarassing incidents. I guess I'm lucky!
gibbylet at 6:37PM on 09/15/08
I once used condensed milk instead of evaporated milk in a dish made
specially for the guest who didn't eat meat. It sure didn't taste like it should!
idoherty at 8:02PM on 09/15/08
Working in a fast food restaurant and filling the mayonnaise jug with horseradish instead. The lunch rush was over before I figured out what I'd done wrong and why everyone was complaining about their burgers.
deedleweedle at 8:11PM on 09/15/08
My first meal for my husband and it turns out raw, yuck!
noey718 at 8:30PM on 09/15/08
I was trying t impress some friends and made hot chocolate from scratch but forgot to add any sugar
singermagic1 at 9:55PM on 09/15/08
When I first got married I wanted to have our families over for a nice Turkey dinner. Well, my dressing was horrible and I didn't take the gibblets out of the turkey before I roasted it. I was so embarrassed.
Gracie at 10:07PM on 09/15/08
When I was young I cooked popcorn in the microwave without a lid....Not too bright!
donnak4 at 11:53PM on 09/15/08
Sorry for the delay here, folks, but I have the winners:
rdazer
jpark
slcrose
zoehunter
BrunswickStew
Congrats to them and thanks for everyone who commented! Winners may also be found on our Contest Winners page.
Adam Kuban at 2:44AM on 09/17/08