Served: Not My Party
I blog by day and wait tables by night. I'm excited to bring you Served, dispatches from the front of the house. Enjoy!
Vacation over! Back to work.
I get to the restaurant to find a party in full swing. Every once in a while, we close to the public for some sort of private event: a baby shower, an engagement celebration, a business soiree.
“What’s this?” I ask K., a fellow server, as she puts down a plate of untouched hors d'oeuvres, about the people in suits and slinky dresses crowded into our little wine bar. But nobody seems to know (or care) what brand of celebration is going down with our assistance.
I am unloading my purse from my shoulder when a grumpy older gentleman requests another glass of wine and two coffee cups only half full of coffee. Now, please. How does he even know I work here?
It turns out the two half-full coffee drinkers have already asked K. for their coffee, so I have an awkward moment with their extraneous beverages. Good thing I need some caffeine badly. The only waste is dirty cup. And the unhappy man’s unhappy glare.
Parties are often good money—our owner makes sure to include a generous gratuity as part of the party throwing price. I assume they’re lucrative for the business, too. That doesn’t mean they’re fun to work.
Catering Is Another Ballgame
I love my job. I wrote about some of the reasons why: I get to play a part of people having a great night, I get to work with people I respect and love. Perhaps, though, my favorite aspect of what I do is the relationships I get to develop with our customers.
Some become friends. Others are just passing by, and it’s fun to talk to people for even a minute. I get to see a sliver of their lives. Perhaps they are visiting New York and I can point them in the direction of a cool spot. Or maybe they will tell me some strange or wonderful story that will make my night.
I love to share something delicious they’ve never had: an awesome effervescent Favorita "Fallegra" from Piedmont, a peppery Hungarian pinot noir, a cheese made with a layer of a different, fresh, gooey cheese inside. Or let them check out how perfect our chocolate cake is—dense and dark and the tiniest bit crunchy from its cocoa nibbed exterior—paired with a glass of toffee-y, roasty Madeira.
Parties need no curators; they certainly require no boisterous banter from me. So I am left to perform the less glamour table-waiting duties: the filling and refilling of glasses, the delivering of snacks, the removal of dirty dishes, the directing towards the bathroom. (Ours is a tiny Manhattan spot, and there are minimal options as to the bathroom’s potential location. Yet, finding it remains a remarkably difficult task for many!).
Depending on the event, there may be a preponderance of chewed up wads of food stuffed into squished up napkins (gross), or plates full of uneaten cheese that people are “saving.” For what?
Tension
Eating out is often a stressful activity. Are you on a bad first date? Dutifully fulfilling a painful family obligation? Dining with an obnoxious friend of a not-so-close friend? Are you breaking up during dinner? Evicting your houseguest who has overstayed his welcome by a few months? Or were you unaware that your once happily carnivorous burger buddy is now a vegan raw foodist? You are not alone. Restaurants are full of unhappy campers like you.
Parties blow up the awkward dynamics of the table to a much larger scale. The whole room becomes a bad soap opera where everyone has slept with everyone else; or maybe, just a family reunion of a less than idyllic family. After all, all families are less than idyllic. And an abundance of alcohol does not always help the situation (although it certainly can).
Catering, of course, has certain perks. There is a sense of satisfaction when an event comes to an uncatastrophic close. Actually planning a menu, a party, and a night can be a lot of fun. And there tend to be plenty of leftovers to take home.
Party To Go
But the other night, a man who had spent the night darting in-between guests and servers to snap pictures tapped K. on the shoulder.
“What does he want?” I wondered.
Turns out, his request was to take all of the leftovers home. It might be tacky, the owner conceded, but of course we’ll do it. So I outfitted myself in latex gloves, saran wrapped slices of goose breast and baguette and Mimollete, and handed the man his party doggy bag.
By seven, the coffee cups and wine glasses were cleared. The tables were hoisted upstairs from the basement, in the rain, arranged, wiped, and set. As the last party guest ambled out into the wet night, little boxed truffle in hand, the first couple plopped themselves down at the bar.
We talked about Washington, rosé, and the Greenmarket. Ok—I was back in the groove. Party over, the night could proceed.
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18 Comments:
OK Hannah, as one who spent many years in the restaurant business I always appreciate your youthful insider perspective. I suppose I should have written earlier with a positive comment.
But like most, I only write when I disagree, and two things in this column made me want to write.
First, your condescending tone here:
"the directing towards the bathroom. (Ours is a tiny Manhattan spot, and there are minimal options as to the bathroom’s potential location. Yet, finding it remains a remarkably difficult task for many!)."
I for one feel awkward when entering a new establishment and having to wander around looking for the restroom signs. It is easier for me to simply ask a hostess or a waitress...and isn't that what you say your job is all about - making the experience easy and pleasant for the customer?
Second, there's this:
"Turns out, his request was to take all of the leftovers home. It might be tacky, the owner conceded, but of course we’ll do it. So I outfitted myself in latex gloves, saran wrapped slices of goose breast and baguette and Mimollete, and handed the man his party doggy bag."
I just don't get what's tacky about taking what you paid for. Is it because that meant that you and the staff wouldn't get to take it home? Would outfitting yourself with the latex gloves been less onerous if you were packaging the items for yourself and the staff?
Keep writing, you do a good job. But don't forget that not everyone is part of the restaurant "in crowd".
pcbaga at 10:27AM on 09/09/08
I understand the bathroom comment. It makes me feel like people can't think for themselves, they are like sheep who need to be herded to the bathroom. I've been asked where the bathroom is WHILE STANDING IN FRONT OF THE BATHROOMS. It just gets old.
Also, the leftovers thing is tacky. If it were his plate of food, no problem. But asking to have all the leftover food wrapped up for his personal smorgasbord later is just a bit extreme.
But that's just my opinion.
hotcobbler at 10:35AM on 09/09/08
Having catered a few events myself, but having never received this request before, I have to wonder: is it more tacky to ask for the leftovers or roll up food in a napkin and throw it into your purse? We know that the later is the more common tacky phenomenon.
I think taking the leftovers from a party is a little ridiculous. When you pay for a party, you are paying for a set number (usually) of trays and hotel pans, that will be replenished should they run out. I think most people are aware that the restaurant isn't going to throw out the untouched food. It's one thing to ask for a single piece of cake wrapped up, but the napkin- stuffers, and "I'll take everything leftover" guy are taking it one step too far.
liwinegirl at 10:50AM on 09/09/08
agreed on the point of the guy taking ALL the food, unless he was the person throwing the party (picking up everybody's tabs). of course he's entitled to his plate, but if he's just one guest asking to take it all, that's definitely tacky.
sarahlucy at 10:58AM on 09/09/08
I'm with pcbaga on the bathrooms. From a diner's perspective, some places seem to do all they can to confuse a need-to-pee patron. Bathrooms may be up or down a flight, might be behind a curtain, might share a doorway with the kitchen area where employees are hurrying in and out, and often have those stupid "clever" signs that give vague hints at which one is male or female.
Adam Kuban at 11:03AM on 09/09/08
Sounds like this picture-taking party guy might have been in on the party planning. I'm baffled why it's so tacky to ask for the leftovers from a party that you paid for. Yes, the staff may eat the untouched food, but it's not his responsiblity to pay for their meal. He may not have wanted the food to go to waste. He may not have known that the staff wouldn't waste the food.
If it was me and I paid for the food, I'd take it home to eat or take it to the office the next day.
I'm with pcbaga, it's all a bit condescending.
_greenbean at 11:31AM on 09/09/08
Hi all!
Ok, let me clarify: I been the one to ask where the bathroom is while standing in front of it. I am a big asker of "where is the bathroom?" But it is funny to hear the question 67 times in one night in such a bitsy place. That's all. But I don't mind answering. And I'm not offended or surprised that people ask so often, just amused.
My boss (not me!!) made the comment about the thorough leftover collection being a tacky move. I think I agree, but I don't claim credit for the idea. I was not policing his manners, just sad I didn't get to eat those leftovers!
Hannah Howard at 11:57AM on 09/09/08
Interesting story! I don't know anyone in the restaurant business so these insights have been like a peek into an alternate universe that exists on the same plane.
We always feel guilty walking into a restaurant and looking like we're casing the joint for the bathroom. I can imagine a few people thinking, "use the bathroom before you leave for the restaurant!" 99% of the time we are out and about hours before going to a restaurant.
Cassaendra at 12:24PM on 09/09/08
I get annoyed with the bathroom question, and I am not ashamed to admit it. I have worked in the service industry for 7 years. It doesn't matter if there are clearly labeled doors, an arrow, or a freaking neon sign, people are going to ask where the bathrooms are. I understand that some bathrooms are more difficult to locate (hey, I had to ask when they were down a flight of stairs at one place.) And it is not even that I am annoyed with every person that asks (I will answer you politely, even after you walked into the manager's office--clearly marked office-and closed the door behind you), it is just part of the job that gets repetitive.
Honestly, every single server has a different pet peeve than the next. I work with people that can't stand to make hot tea for people, others that are annoyed by smokers, and me, I hate when people think their kids are old enough to have a glass without a lid when they clearly are not. (I curse them silently as I am mopping around the table, believe me.)
brittj8585 at 2:21PM on 09/09/08
I understand that maybe this camera guy was too busy taking pictures to eat and would like to take some of it home. Not an odd request. But ALL of it? A plate, maybe, but taking all of the leftovers home unless he himself paid for all of it IS tacky.
The good thing about having an opinion is you don't have to be nice all the time. If the 68th person that night is asking where the bathroom is located, the server should politely direct them to the right place. But they are still allowed to be irritated afterward. The asker only has to ask once, but the server has to answer always.
amanda0730 at 3:19PM on 09/09/08
Rock on, amanda!
Hannah Howard at 3:34PM on 09/09/08
i love the way you write, hannah, and i got such a clear image of the party. i used to have a restaurant so i can totally understand the flavor
of your tone..... serving people is a labor of love, believe me. you have
to love what you do in order to do it. in the restaurant business --you see it all ..... and if you PRIVATELY resent what customers do sometimes, i'd like to see anyone in any job that doesn't feel the same way towards co-workers, bosses or clients, sometimes..... it doesn't mean you don't have their best interests at heart.
keep up the good words.... always enjoy your blog.
pooch at 4:18PM on 09/09/08
I guess asking for leftovers depends on who the guy was, as far as paying the bill, and how the food purchases were arranged. Assuming he was the guy that paid, if the food was from the regular menu and the agreement was that the people would get fed until they were done, then there are no leftovers, really. If he ordered special food that was purchased and cooked for the event, then all the leftovers are his because he paid for all of it, whether it was served or not. If he ordered x number of plates, and x -3 were served, then he should get 3 portions of leftovers, because that's what he paid for.
If he was a guest and he was asking for doggie bags from everyone's plates, then it's just creepy. Unless maybe he's feeding goats. If he was a guest and asking for unserved leftovers, then the decision to give that to him should have been up to the person who paid the bill.
As for common practices for party leftovers, when we got married, at about the end of the night the food staff rolled out carts with containers holding all of the various un-served food. Anyone who was still there could take whatever they wanted. We didn't know they were going to do this, but it seemed like a sensible thing to do. Being a wedding hall, it's not like they could serve the stuff the next day or use our leftover meat to make soup for lunch. Giving it all away made a heck of a lot more sense than throwing it all away.
dbcurrie at 12:04AM on 09/10/08
We simply don't allow them to take leftovers home *evil grin*...company policy.
Tahitinova at 12:11AM on 09/10/08
I agree with what the others said: It wasn't tacky if he threw the party (and paid for it) - it is if he's a guest.
That said, I'm the girl who packs an extra roll or dessert in her purse, as proven by the crumbs on the bottom.
piccola at 12:24AM on 09/10/08
I guess some people have different ideas as to what is theirs to take when they leave. I have no problems asking for my leftovers at a restaurant, if I'm going to eat them. I've never thought about asking for leftovers as a guest at a party. Well, with one exception...but that's not relevant. But if I paid for a party where x number of portions or x pounds of meat was paid for, I'd expect that I would have the option of keeping the leftovers when it was over. I might not want them, but I wouldn't expect to be refused.
On the other hand, my mother used to waitress when I was a kid, and she would talk about the people who would order coffee and drink all the cream and take home all the sugar packets and some would even empty the salt and pepper shakers. In their minds, if it was on the table, it was theirs.
Of course, she's the one who walked out of a restaurant with a little wooden cutting board in her purse.
If a place told me their policy was not to package up leftovers, I'd probably wonder what they did with them. If they were feeding the staff who worked the party, I don't think I'd care much. But if I suspected they were using the leftovers for someone else's dinners, I'd start wondering if they were feeding leftovers from someone else's party to my guests. And that's not a good thought.
dbcurrie at 2:21AM on 09/10/08
Just one point about the bathrooms: a customers who asks might be mentally retarded or illiterate or legally blind. What's "obvious" to fully-abled people is not obvious to everyone. But Hannah, I think you probably thought of that already.
annien at 10:31PM on 09/10/08
Yes, it does all seem very condescending. Once at Nougatine, my guest felt ill suddenly and when we asked a waiter walking by where the rest room was, he just stared at us as if it was beneath him to respond and walked away. Meanwhile my friend was sitting at the table on the brink of passing out. Luckily, a waitress came by and helped us out.
As for calling someone tacky for asking to take home leftovers, I think it was pretty tacky for the owner to insult a patron of his restaurant.
bionicgrrl at 12:46AM on 09/11/08