Phyllis Richman's Waiter Rant
Retired Washington Post restaurant critic Phyllis Richman lets loose with her own waiter rant. I've eaten with Phyllis, and she's smart, funny, and doesn't suffer fools gladly.
Her pet peeves:
- Restaurant staffers who snatch plates at a table before everyone is done
- Disappearing waiters who stop paying attention to their station, even whey Phyllis wants to pay the check
- Show-off waiters who insist on asking how everything is
What else do waiters do that drive serious eaters crazy?
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25 Comments:
Actually, I like most waiters. Maybe because I've been in their shoes.
However, the first one you list above, "plate snatching" (LOL) while others are still eating. Definitely my number one peeve, it drives me nuts.
OliverRanch at 12:57PM on 09/05/08
With all due respect, after reading her 'rant' the only conclusion I could come to was that Phyllis has obviously NEVER waited tables.
I'll stop there or else I'll wind up ranting myself.
gastronomeg at 1:01PM on 09/05/08
Seriously? Maybe it was considered rude a century or so ago, but I actually like having my dirty plate out of my way. I mean, really, this woman finds her dirty plate smeared with the remnants of her dinner an attractive centerpiece she wants to keep around as long as possible? Yet another reason why critics need to get real jobs.
ryansm at 1:10PM on 09/05/08
I agree with the first one. Just yesterday, a waiter took my plate while I was still working on it and stacked a bunch of other plates on top of the fries I'd wanted to finish eating. =\ He didn't even ask if I was done.
OneWallKitchen at 1:53PM on 09/05/08
I don't like it when they don't write down my order, I'm not sure if they try to remember it to try to impress their patrons or what, but I'd say 6 out of 9 times, my order shows up wrong.
One of these days I'll be testy enough to say "perhaps you should have written it down", but I really don't like to be rude, cause I don't want the 3-5 second rule applied to whatever I send back. :P
and I agree with ryan, I'd rather them take away dirty plates of those who've finished than have to stare at half chewed food on other's (or my own) plate.
BE GONE chewed food plate!
Southern_bella at 2:00PM on 09/05/08
yeah taking the food before you're done is truly irritating. the other night at an italian place, we ordered a small plate of meatballs and a side of broccoli rabe, and they took the plates with a meatball left and half the broccoli! before we could get out a word!
sarahlucy at 2:37PM on 09/05/08
I hate it when everyone is not served at the same time. I was out to eat with three other people this weekend and they served two of us and the other two waited a full ten minutes before their food arrived. It was very annoying.
lakeloverhh at 2:43PM on 09/05/08
I'm pretty sure it's not isolated to the waiters (I think it's a user error, actually), but...I'm PREGNANT, for goodness sake - why won't anyone give me a pitcher of water when I ask for it? If you don't give it to me, I WILL expect that you will return to my table every 7.5 minutes to refill my glass.
Thankyouverymuch. ;-)
Oh, and taking my plate when there's still an OUNCE of food on it. Again, I'm pregnant...if I want to nibble on my parsley, you better get out of the way! hahahaha
(No, these aren't serious rants...I know being a waiter or waitress is hard, and I try to give them the benefit of the doubt most days. HOWEVER...pregnant and thirsty isn't a combination that makes it easy! ;-))
Teahlo at 2:58PM on 09/05/08
@gastronomeg , I'm actually interested in hearing you expound a bit. Why are avoiding those three things too much to expect from a professional waitperson?
#3 is my #1 peeve. I really can't stand when a waiter interrupts a conversation to ask how everything is. Really good waiters know how to make meaningful eye contact rather than create interruptions. I really appreciate that.
Tactful_Cactus at 3:16PM on 09/05/08
One of my friends actually did call the restaurant when her server mysteriously disappeared. A group of friends sitting on an outside deck, hadn't seen the server, or any server for half an hour. She called the restaurant to ask them if they'd mind sending someone out to the deck as there were several tables looking for the server. Rude, though it did get the point across. Had I been there, I would have been nervous about getting something extra in my drink.
My pet peeve is when I ask if a restaurant has any specials, and the server says, "Oh, it's all special!" It's common for restaurants to have a list of specials, usually offering things that are unique (ie. "special") to the season. Many times the server offers them up right away, but sometimes they forget, so I like to ask. If you do not have a list of specials, fine, but I can guarantee that everything on your menu is not equally wonderful. As a customer, I have an idea of things I like better than others at my favorite restaurants, and I'm sure the servers do as well. If I ask for specials and you don't have them, then I'm looking for your guidance on the menu. A vague answer like that feels patronizing and reduces the server's credibility.
drew13000 at 3:33PM on 09/05/08
Ha! Ha! Elitism is so funny.
I put myself through college as a waitress. I always tried to ask, "May I take your plate?" You know what 9 out of 10 people would say? "No, I'm still working on it."
If a waiter takes your plate with food still on it and you don't protest fast enough, call them back and say, "I still had [X] on my plate and wanted it. Could you please get me a replacement?" I've been on both sides of the plate. I've brought patrons a plate with a replacement for the bit of parsley garnish that they were saving to eat last, or with new toast to replace the crust of toast that I cleared because it was covered with a crumpled napkin. And I always did it with an apology.
Try being civil to wait staff because, hey, you get more flies with honey and all that, right? But it's hard to do when you're sitting in judgment or on your high horse.
Tokyorosa at 3:37PM on 09/05/08
Tokyorosa- i agree with you completely. there is a lot of elitism in dining. the clearing the plate issue really depends on where you dine. in some places it is not acceptable to clear plates and leave one single person eating. but if you are finished and put your knife for and napkin on your plate, that is my clue to clear it! should we even get into the rants of servers. how about listening to the specials i describe so i don't have to repeat myself thirty seconds later when you ask what they are.
as far as rants from the customer's side of the plate, i have different complaints about serving staff, because i am a server. i have been asked before if i can close out my bar tab or finish my dinner and move to the bar so the server can leave. to me that says they dont want to wait around for my money, and if thats the case then you won't be getting a tip! you are in the business of making people happy to make your money, get used to it. obviously there are exceptions when it comes to staying three four hours after finishing or after close, but who's to say, while the restaurant is still open i may not order another expensive round of drinks or dessert?
another complaint is having a server who doesn't actually know the menu. when i ask a question, don't give me a confused face! this is your bread and butter, know it! if you work in a bar and can't tell me the names of the beers you offer, you should be working somewhere else.
bodelou at 3:50PM on 09/05/08
and as far as asking how everything is, its not showing off. its what we are supposed to do. otherwise, there are some people who will sit, eat their entire meal and then mention that its terrible. wouldnt it be more convenient if you had the opportunity to fix something before all evidence is gone? if we didnt come by and ask how it was, you would be complaining that it we weren't around enough to deserve a tip. its easy to forget that working as a waitress is not just taking orders.
bodelou at 3:53PM on 09/05/08
I personally hate it when waiters are describing the specials and preface everything with "Tonight I'VE got this, and this...", rather than WE'VE got something. I think it's uppity and makes it sound like they own the place. I'm all for servers who take pride in their job, but a restaurant is a team environment, so that little verbage glitch really bugs me.
erelmartin at 3:56PM on 09/05/08
I really hate it when waiters assume that just because we are dressed casually (jeans and t-shirt) assume that we're not a good tipper and proceed to basically ignore us and give us the bare minimum of service for the entire meal. That is so incredibly rude and a really stupid assumption because I happen to be a perpetual over-tipper to those that treat us well.
I can't tell you how many time we have gone out to eat and had to wait 15+ minutes just to get some menus and drinks....it's ridiculous. Everyone deserves the same level of GOOD service, regardless of what you think they may tip you.
elderberry44 at 4:10PM on 09/05/08
I like most wait people too, they have a hard job and most of them are terrific. My worst experience was in an unnamed Thomas Keller restaurant the food was terrific but the waiter spoke to us as if we were boobs who had never eaten anywhere but a Denny's. Quite annoying.
(I left a KFC wetnap with his tip.)
(And yes, we tipped sufficiently.)
GregWA at 4:29PM on 09/05/08
@GregWA: Oh you can't leave us hanging with just that. What happened!?!
ryansm at 4:41PM on 09/05/08
I hate "in you face" service. For example: the personal introduction, the asking if you want pepper before a chance to taste the food, the "how is everything" every 5 minutes, the removal of plates before everyone is done, the incessant refilling of glasses, the stacking of plates at the table, the addressing of patrons as "hon" or "sweety". I'm not a big grump, I just like subtle service, with a minimum of interruptions to my meal. In France they bring a pitcher of water for the table, and you serve yourself as needed. Much more my style!
PeanutButter at 5:15PM on 09/05/08
@Peanut Butter, oh, yes, I forgot, the dreaded pepper grinder. Same thing with pargmigiano - one should be allowed to taste the food before deciding if either is appropriate. Suppose that's a little tricky for the wait staff, though. Certainly no fun to have them hovering while you feel pressured to taste.
OliverRanch at 5:37PM on 09/05/08
My complaint is very simple--please refill my water glass. If I'm at home, I can get water anytime I want to, and if I can't eat with a dry throat. Sometimes it's the fault of minuscule restaurant glasses, but I usually ask for a larger glass. I've been left stranded after ordering a CORN MUFFIN (a delicious delight but the driest food on the planet, even with butter) and dirty thoughts about charging the restaurant for choking to death. (In this case, the fact that the server slammed the glass down when I hunted her down to get my water and then refused to look me in the eye for the rest of the night made me especially irritated).
Oh, and when they serve the 'paid drinks' but forget to bring the water....
HeartofGlass at 6:58PM on 09/05/08
I hate it when waiters aren't familiar with the menu, like when I'm told something is vegetarian and it isn't. A minor (related) pet peeve: when they can't pronounce the names of the dishes properly - this is especially true in French and Italian restaurants.
Otherwise, the only thing I mind is snootiness. I can forgive almost anything if the person is nice and sincerely apologetic.
piccola at 9:00PM on 09/05/08
While I am picky about the doneness of my beef and suggested exclusions (salt and onions, mostly), we are considerate diners. I'm sure being a waiter is a difficult job. Any job can be. I think the bad servers lack any sort of common sense or they just hate their job. If it's the latter, get a different f-ing job. I don't want to have to deal with the pitiful BS drama and get attitude when I'm paying to have someone serve me and the kitchen to feed me. WTF.
Walking in and being seated and receiving no service for 15 minutes is inexcusable. It's only happened to us once because, regardless of the type of restaurant, we walk out after 5 minutes. That time, my husband ripped on the manager for 10 minutes telling him he could go across town, eat at their other establishment, drive back, and still not have gotten service. There was only one other diner, not a party but a sole diner, in the restaurant at that time. The manager gave my husband $50 (or more?) certificate. My husband tossed it back at him and said something to the effect of, "So I can suffer through this service again?" We walked out.
I like my water glass filled because 99% of the time that is my only drink. I don't care for soda with my meal, unless it's a hamburger - then it's a root beer. I drink iced tea at home, and most places fail when it comes to iced tea - they use crappy tea or brew it too stingy. I avoid all alcohol.
I find it rude to remove plates when the entire party is not done eating, just as I don't want anyone in the party to sit around for 30 minutes while everyone else is eating (who really should not be eating in the first place until ALL diners receive their food). I also want to slap the idiot that eats so slowly that they're the only one eating after everyone has finished their entree 30 minutes ago, and is still picking at their plate. Good grief, give up so people can go on with their lives -- chew quicker or stop babbling!
The other pet peeve is waiting for my check. I reeeeaaaaally hate waiting 15 minutes for my check after asking. If I've asked for my check, that means I'm ready to go NOW. NO, IT DOES NOT MEAN I WANT DESSERT. Again, lack of common sense.
I never thought about calling the restaurant. I'll have to try that. ROFL.
Cassaendra at 7:12AM on 09/06/08
Based on past experience and after hearing experiences of others, I really can't totally fault the waiters; some of the behaviors described depend on how they are trained and the requirements they are "encouraged" to practice while doing their jobs. I'll wager that if they were personally surveyed on the best way to do their job, most would want to avoid certain practices.
If there is a problem with a certain type of behavior, I offer a gentle suggestion to the manager and most definitely after the meal is over.
Kimc54 at 12:24PM on 09/06/08
Those are my fiancee's top 3 things that annoy her. The plate cleaning especially because I always finish before her. I hate when waiters fill my water over my shoulder or across the table. I agree on the person who talked about not writing orders down. I am not impressed by their memory skills!
pbelardo at 7:56PM on 09/06/08
Having served in numerous restaurants for over 15 years, I sympathize with (most of) the comments posted here, particularly the water thing. Problem is, most restaurants are not owned by people who have worked in restaurants. When servers ask if we can get more water pitchers, they tend to say things like, "You've got three. Part of your job is checking on the tables." So if I don't bring you a water pitcher, it's probably because I simply don't have one to spare.
As for familiarity with food and beverages, believe it or not, most restaurants do not allow servers to sample food and drink unless they pay for it. I'm not talking about high-end places that conduct daily tastings of specials etc. I'm talking about the majority of restaurants- middle price range, not too fancy. So I've worked places where I have never tasted most of the food or any of the wine or bottled beer. Totally sucks. Makes my job so much harder. But owners tend to see any consumption by staff as waste or theft while expecting us to have psychic powers of flavor divination.
Ditto things like plate clearing. My current restaurant owner freaks out if he walks in and sees an empty-looking plate on a table. So I have to balance not being annoying to the customers with my employer's expectations.
I'd love to hear from restaurant owners about how and why they do these things that make their employees' jobs harder and leave customers less satisfied.
thatgrrl at 9:00PM on 09/07/08