Hostess Fruit Pie, One Less Thing For Me to Eat Before I Die
When Raphael discovered that I had never eaten a Hostess Fruit Pie, one of the foods listed on the Omnivore's 100, he responded with stunned disbelief. When some of our other Serious Eats coworkers revealed that they too lived lives devoid of Hostess Fruit Pies, our collective anti-pie stance nearly pushed him to the edge of having a heart attack. He immediately ran to the nearest grocery store in order to end our Hostess Fruit Pie deprivation.
And then we unleashed the partially hydrogenated horror within the paper wrapper.
Actually, it wasn't as bad as I was expecting (as I was expecting "nearly inedible"). The glazed crust had some kind of satisfying crunch to it and the pie's inner artificially flavored apple flavored goo wasn't tooth-achingly sweet. Not that it reminded me of my favorite apple pie or anything. Maybe it would've been better after a few minutes in the oven, or if I had been a sugar-starved elementary school student. I heartily disagree with Hostess' website saying that with these pies "a trip to the snack cake aisle can be like visiting a country fruit stand." If so, that's some messed up fruit.
Although I've never eaten Hostess Fruit Pies as a kid, I'm pretty sure they fit under the Pixifoods category. If only I had seen these alarmingly elaborate Hostess Fruit Pie comic book ads as a kid—then I would've been all over them.
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63 Comments:
those things are good... never that fruity... just sweet. but man, good snack.
foodinmouth at 1:40PM on 09/04/08
When did they go to the two mini-pie format?
worldcupfever at 1:44PM on 09/04/08
Yeah, I remember half-moon shapes and much more filling or is that a different brand?
Asado at 1:54PM on 09/04/08
@worldcupfever, I was about to ask the same thing. There's obviously considerably less fruit than when the thing was one entire pie. I recall it being nice and thick in the middle. I'd break it in two and eat it from the inside out.
The packaging indicates it's plural ("pies"), but not only that, it also reads, "Drake's by Hostess" instead of just being a Hostess product. Methinks they've screwed it up for good. And that's a sad thing to see.
LunaPierCook at 1:56PM on 09/04/08
I loved the half moon shape....especially in cherry!
davey at 1:58PM on 09/04/08
Robyn: I have news for you. You still have yet to eat a real Hostess fruit pie. This Drake's business is crap. And if it's not the half-moon shape, then it ain't a Hostess pie. I'll see if I can find you a REAL HFP while I'm out and about in the next few days.
Adam Kuban at 2:01PM on 09/04/08
Ah, there it is ... the Hostess Fruit Pie page has a dropdown box at the bottom, and you can get to the Drake's Cakes page from there. Here's Drake's page on Wikipedia, which gives quite a convoluted history.
LunaPierCook at 2:28PM on 09/04/08
I had a bad experience with one when I was like 6. Haven't had one since.
VoraciousMatt at 2:29PM on 09/04/08
I also noticed that this package had a best before date of Aug. 25. I'm not all that confident that that would make much of a difference, though ...
jeninewsbite at 2:30PM on 09/04/08
I probably shouldn't admit this, but the first time I had one was about 7-8 years ago, after my FLUB (fat, lazy, usless boyfriend; now an ex) discovered I had never had one. We were both high out of our minds... and they were fan-f*cking-tastic! But shortly after, we tried to buy them again and noticed that they were differently shaped...
Also, back then, we used to hunt for the ones that only said "Drake's" on them, not both Drake's & Hostess. I'm sure some digging would uncover some changes around that time...
feistyfoodie at 2:31PM on 09/04/08
Oh and I was a cherry person, though we tried every flavor.
feistyfoodie at 2:31PM on 09/04/08
@Adam: WTF I STILL HAVEN'T HAD A REAL HOSTESS PIE?
I feel cheated. :'[
@jeninewsbite: Yeah, I doubt it matters. It might be August 25, 2010 for all I know.
roboppy at 2:42PM on 09/04/08
I don't like the sugar coating on the crust.
I like Tastey Kake pies and here in Texas, you can always find a good southern fried pie.
eatorama at 2:54PM on 09/04/08
I was all over these as a kid. I would get them from the store after school. Delicious treat, but now, I'm not sure I would want to eat it!
pequenalooloo at 3:03PM on 09/04/08
THAT IS NOT A HOSTESS PIE!
That's Drakes!
peekpoke at 3:04PM on 09/04/08
when he was growing up, my boyfriend would refer to the lemon flavor as "phlegmon" to most accurately reflect the color and texture of the filling. yum.
amrobo at 3:23PM on 09/04/08
Those squares look ridiculous. I almost cried out, "Imposter!" but saw the strange hybridized brand name on the package and now I'm just confused and sad. Ooh! Remember the pudding filled ones?
JustNancy at 3:26PM on 09/04/08
Yeah, the two square pies messed me up. Some foods shouldn't be square, yet manufacturers persist. First it was square fish, now it's square pie. Get a half moon like everyone's saying. When I was a kid, I liked apple, but I was all over the chocolate pudding pies. It would probably make me ill now.
OneWallKitchen at 3:27PM on 09/04/08
Nope, 2 little pie squares does not a Hostess make! Cherry, full-size half-moon is the only way to go!
peachfish at 3:27PM on 09/04/08
I'm so glad everyone is as weirded out as I am by these little square pies. These are not the Hostess pies that contributed so well to my freshman 15...
islandchild at 3:29PM on 09/04/08
Mmmm, Hostess Pies. I lived on those things in high school. We actually asked the vending machine guy why the machine was empty so often, and he said that our school went through the hostess products faster than any other school on his route.
And yea, it has to be cherry, and it has to be the half-moon shape. Every once in awhile I'll buy one at a gas station on a road trip - the sugar'll keep you going for hours!
cyberroo at 3:38PM on 09/04/08
@JustNancy: Yes. I remember the pudding ones. I always preferred the fruits, though.
Adam Kuban at 3:40PM on 09/04/08
Drakes is far superior in all products to nasty Hostess.
Sad that Hostess is taking them over.
peekpoke at 3:41PM on 09/04/08
Why are there 2 little squares? Doesn't this extra crust raise the fat content of the pie?
beth1 at 4:08PM on 09/04/08
@amrobo: Phlegmon! That's awesome. Actually got coffee from mouth onto keyboard with that one. For true!
jeninewsbite at 4:11PM on 09/04/08
Yeah. Pity nothing stays the same. Except twinkies. Are they still the same?
Deb Schiff
Altered Plates
Here and There
hereandthe at 4:28PM on 09/04/08
I remember the horrid greasy crust that formed on my tongue after eating one...shudder!
bisbee at 4:36PM on 09/04/08
Does anyone remember the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pies they had in the late 80's early 90's? They may or may not have made by hostess...
They were little pies filled with vanilla pudding and topped with green icing.
They were the best.
jonny509 at 4:41PM on 09/04/08
Wow! No half-moon pies? That's just not right. A square Hostess fruit pie is like a trapezoid-shaped pizza.
I remember the pudding-filled pies, especially lemon. My favorite pies were cherry and peach. Back in the day, Dolly Madison and Hostess were not owned by the same parent company and Dolly Madison pies were actually better.
holdthemayo at 4:46PM on 09/04/08
I like the shape, it reminds me of a ravioli
ag3208 at 5:17PM on 09/04/08
I just don't understand why you'd bother with anything but the cherry flavor, shape notwithstanding.
producestories at 7:50PM on 09/04/08
Gosh, you guys are better than psychoanalysis. Last night, I suddenly recalled milk on jello (horrid parent food), and now I'm suddenly channeling cherry Hostess (and lemon) pies. I've got the whole experience! And it was an ice age ago!!
islandexile at 8:16PM on 09/04/08
yep, cherry and lemon were the ones i loved.
cybercita at 8:24PM on 09/04/08
I loved the blueberry and the lemon.
And yes, THAT IS NOT HOSTESS (adding my name to the rant list). I am frothing, foaming at the mouth--the whole point is the tough, sugar-crusted filling in the half-moon shape from which you suck out the filling!
Deep breath. Okay. But still, your quest must continue.
Also, the real Hostess pies have a cute little icon on them of a Hostess character.
HeartofGlass at 9:03PM on 09/04/08
These are what the 'real' pie wrappers looked like:
http://home.earthlink.net/~fruitpie/id2.html
HeartofGlass at 9:09PM on 09/04/08
That isn't at all a real Hostess pie, so please don't judge too harshly! Come to the south (I'm in North carolina), and every gas station will have a big table of fruit pies near the cash register. If you are lucky, they are a local bakery or a local grandma who fries them and has her own little kitchen business, but they always have the Hostess kind too. Peach and cherry were always my favorite! The main difference is that a real Hostess fruit pie is one single pie in the wrapper, not two square ones.
jessleigh at 9:19PM on 09/04/08
i've had the hostess fruit pie when it was one pie and let me tell you robyn, you are not missing much. instead of 1 big craptastic pie, now you get 2 smaller craptastic pies. just looking at the pies make me want to barf.
bionicgrrl at 9:33PM on 09/04/08
Another, "hey, that's not a Hostess fruit pie!"
My favorite was the lemon. I haven't had one in years, though.
jenilowrance at 10:20PM on 09/04/08
Chocolate......I don't like the cherry. Well, I don't like any of them now, but I always ate the chocolate ones.
amanda0730 at 12:56AM on 09/05/08
I recognized those as Drake's right away and was curious as to why it also said "Hostess" on the package.
@jeninewsbite, it does make a difference. If they sit on the shelf too long, the moisture of the filling softens the crust. Still, eating them "fresh" is not going to suddenly make them OMG AMAZING, but it does make them better by a fair amount.
wunami at 1:35AM on 09/05/08
That sad item is so NOT A HOSTESS PIE!!! We still have the half-moon shaped beauties here in Tennessee.
I think I need to send a few Robyn's way! That sad picture of those odd squares has me heading to the store and post office ASAP.
Can I send them to the same address posted for the "Eat Me" stickers??
Erinay77 at 3:35AM on 09/05/08
Those things are delicious, but oh man- look at the nutrition information! They are positively lethal.
That being said, I like lemon :)
spartana07 at 9:07AM on 09/05/08
Yup you have to get the moon shaped ones and in vanilla puddin'
Mamacita13 at 2:06PM on 09/05/08
I miss the Hostess "Chocolate Pudding Pie". It looked like you were eating a turd, but it was quite good.
kaszeta at 3:41PM on 09/05/08
They've got the "real" Hostess pies at my local Winco. I haven't tried them in quite a while. I think I used to get cherry or chocolate. I'd certainly prefer more filling to more crust, and I imagine the crust part is cheaper to make, so they put in less filling for the two mini-square pies!
misseditor at 7:47PM on 09/05/08
gross!
I thought they were gross as a kid, definitely wouldn't want one now. Doubt the square ones are better.Thanks for making me remember the taste and yucky feeling in my stomach from the oh, so sweet fruit like filling, yuck, yuck, yuck....
sorry, imitation fruit flavor has always made me nauseous, go ahead and enjoy them if you like. You can have mine!
passion4eating at 12:07AM on 09/06/08
Hostess is taking over Drake's? Noooooooooo!
Drake's pies were a treat of my childhood; just seeing this picture took me right back. Apple were prevalent, blueberry were the rare treat.
BeccaMJ at 1:25PM on 09/06/08
I used to refer to the filling as
'Apple Vaseline'
superdlux at 8:46PM on 09/06/08
It's hard to belive no one has mentioned hubigs pies. I live around New Orleans, they are a local thing down here in Louisiana, and they are wonderful! I tried a hostess once to see if they compared- and I couldnt even finish it it was so gross.
The best hubigs flavors are coconut cream, chocolate, and lemon.
delilah at 9:20PM on 09/07/08
I used to love the Hostess apple ones, when I was a kid. I have not had one in years. I wonder if the shape has more to do with serving size and making it easier to determine that. Maybe 1 pie was two servings. I don't know...just thinking aloud.
ChocolateQueen at 10:03AM on 09/08/08
you haven't lived till you've had the cherry. My hubby is a big fan of the apple pie, but the cherry really are the way to go!
Gizmosma at 11:15AM on 09/08/08
I ate a ton of Hostess Pie's as a teenager. I loved them. My son still hasn't eaten one. He tasted his first Twinkie and first Devil Dog a few months back. He liked them but didn't ask me to buy them again.
Nothing wrong with it, once in awhile. Everything in moderation.
I've eaten 65 things on that Omnivore's list. The only thing I won't eat are insects and head cheese. Give me that eel baby!
RisaG at 11:21AM on 09/08/08
Dear Serious Eats,
I have always been a Drake's Devil Dog Devotee. The chocolate part is good and so is the marshmallow. Uhm, uhm, uhm. I don't like Hostess fruit pies and I don't care for their cupcakes, either. So there!
mrslinda at 11:25AM on 09/08/08
Looks like Hostess and Drake's have merged. Drake's had been owned by Borden's for many years but that's the world of corporate mergers. Worse than the players being traded in MLB!
The Hostess product I really miss is Hostess O's donuts. Unlike regular jelly donuts, Hostess O's were shaped like regular donuts, and the jelly went all the way around, inside the ring. And they had a very nice raspberry jelly, too. I haven't seen them since I left California in 1992. Are they still around anywhere?
The best individual fruit pies were made by Table Talk in Massachusetts but they went out of business in the 1980s. They were round and in little pie tins and were like regular pies, only individually sized.
BergenCountyWarren at 10:56AM on 09/09/08
That cutaway photo is horrifying. The "pie" is all pastry and hardly any filling. I can't even comment on the "two-pie" travesty.
The Hostess pies of old weren't made of flaky pastry, it was a hard shell with glaze. And the filling was generous and very good - chocolate and blackberry were my favorites. I seem to remember a pineapple pie too. As many of these things I ate as a child, it's a wonder I remained skinny as a twig.
Clementine at 1:34PM on 09/09/08
@delilah I was scrolling to the bottom to say just that! I stay Uptown, and my boyfriend has a serious thing for the Hubig's chocolate. They're okay occasionally, but they generally make me cringe. I love the fruit ones though, especially apple and lemon. Silly Hostess, pies are from Hubig's!
nightowl at 4:09PM on 09/09/08
My dad called them "chemical pies". Take a look at the ingredient list... :(
robfadams at 10:33PM on 09/11/08
@BergenCountyWarren: Table Talk still exists. I see them at my local Market Basket all the time. In all their mini pie tin glory. The last ones I purchased were stale though. :(
wunami at 10:50PM on 09/11/08
As someone from the Northeast who was raised on "real" snack cakes--Tastykakes--I wouldn't consider eating anything by Hostess, Drakes, or Table Talk. That's strictly kid stuff. Tastykake fruit pies are made with real lard, and very few artificial ingredients.
If you've never had a Tastykake fruit pie, you haven't lived. Go to their website and mail order some.
salpico at 7:36AM on 11/05/08
I signed up just to comment on Hostess fruit pies. I was eating one a while back and had to ask myself why or if I liked it. The fond memories of them fell away as I evaluated the one I was eating and found that the crust smelled like Play Dough. I don't remember making this connection as a child (which seems odd to me), and I can't help but wonder if the recipe has changed over the years. At any rate I was eating another one tonight and had to stop and see if anyone else thought they smelled like Play Dough (my wife agrees that they do) That brought me here.
It is probably too late to get a reply about this because the last post was from november, oh well.
By the way, my favorites groing up were cherry and apple and were, as was the one I ate tonight, half-moon shaped.
I still find them edible, but will tell my wife not to buy them for me again.
I can't get past the Play Dough thing.
whatseatingme at 9:04PM on 01/15/09
I HAVE BEEN READING ALL OF THESE COMMENTS ABOUT WHICH PIE IS BETTER. THE SQUARE ONES OR THE HALFMOONS AND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY ARE ALL GOOD, BUT THERE IS A DIFFERENCE.
hunter2400 at 1:07PM on 03/16/09
I used to eat all kinds of the pies as a kid and i loved them. I am 27 now and just recently discovered the delicious nature of the pies. I do agree with you guys about the half moon pies as opposed to the square ones. Don't get me wrong the square ones do the trick, but the whole pie is the daddy of fruit pies. the reason im writing this blog is because i found a website in which you can order the old school half moon pies and have them ordered to your house. This is the website. http://www.freshchocodiles.com/hostess/fruit_pies.html
hunter2400 at 1:11PM on 03/16/09
i just posted a website for ordering the pies but after a little more research i found that the company is bogus. They don't ship anything, they take your money and run. F them for that
DO NOT ORDER ANYTHING FROM THAT WEBSITE OK...................
hunter2400 at 1:16PM on 03/16/09