Did You Know? Broccoli Is the Anti-Bacon
Who knew there was a Holy Church of Bacon? Great URL, by the way: worshipbacon.com. Its members, who practice "baconism," have their own cosmology—one in which broccoli is the Anti-Bacon.
It surprises people to learn how dangerous broccoli can really be. Here's what a leading doctor had to say about it: "Oh yes. One of the deadliest plants on Earth! Why, it tries to warn you itself with its terrible taste." —Dr. Hibbert, PhD.
Broccoli poses a grave threat to the Holy Church of Bacon and all Baconists. When tainted with Broccolian evil, a piece of Bacon is forever tarnished and should never be placed within one's orifices.
The Holy Church of Bacon site is set up as a wiki, which lends it a false air of seriousness that plays perfectly into its satire. I love the "See Also" links on the Broccoli entry: "blasphemy" and "Four Centaurs of Healthfood" among them.
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8 Comments:
I'm surprised there's no link to present-day pork-barrel politics. Might just have to do something about that.
LunaPierCook at 8:41AM on 09/29/08
There is a battle of good vs. evil going on within myself. I adore both bacon and broccoli. Shhh, don't tell anyone or the Baconists will send an exorcist to rid me of the cruciferous demons.
holdthemayo at 10:03AM on 09/29/08
I am of the opinion that one should never eat broccoli regardless. I've never liked it, but I admit, I try to get my daughter to eat it. I also won't eat cauliflower since it is just albino broccoli. I am all for eating bacon though.
feep at 10:21AM on 09/29/08
But broccoli and bacon are so good together!
What am I saying, bacon is good with everything.
Laurel E at 10:51AM on 09/29/08
@LaurelE, you've got that backwards. It should read as: "Anything is better with the addition of bacon." Old, grimey carburetors, for example.
LunaPierCook at 11:16AM on 09/29/08
but, but its soo tasty, but bacon is tasty!
is this like the new kosher then?
no broccoli cooked in the same room as bacon?
whats going on!?
zenazure at 12:58PM on 09/29/08
That's unfortunate, because our broccoli salad always has lots of bacon. (though, definitely way more broccoli than bacon.)
amanda0730 at 1:16PM on 09/29/08
I love both - how can it be the anti-bacon?.... I think celery is the anti-bacon.
Yu Ming Lui at 3:32AM on 09/30/08