Crazy Craigslist Cookie Ad
I've seen my fair share of crazy Craigslist ads, but this one takes it to a whole new level. A bright clean bedroom on Manhattan's Upper West Side can be yours for only $1 a month, if you agree to bake the owner 50 cookies every day by 6 p.m. It sounds easy enough, but there are some pretty specific restrictions attached:
Forbidden ingredients include anise, marjoram, allspice, caraway, and oats. I will nevertheless request oatmeal cookies from time to time and you must find a way to make them without oats. Good luck with that.
This apartment is clearly being rented out by the Cookie Monster. To anyone who responds to this ad, "good luck with that."
Read the full ad after the jump.
new york craigslist > manhattan > rooms & shares
$1 Room for ONE DOLLAR in bright, clean apartment (Upper West Side) (map)
Reply to: hous-834022781@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-09-09, 1:44PM EDT
I am looking for someone to rent the spare bedroom in my spacious 2-bedroom apartment on the picturesque and desirable Upper West Side. You must read carefully, however, as this situation is not suitable for all.
The rent is $1 per month, utilities included, as long as you bake me fifty (50) tasty cookies every day by 6 p.m. If you have not completed this task by 6 p.m., I will pour vinegar on all your belongings, throw them into the street, and have the locks changed. No exceptions and no excuses. Hell or high water, those cookies better be done and yummy.
Cookies are always cookies and never biscuits. I do not eat “biscuits”.
I will decide the specific type of cookie the day before and will submit my preference in writing by 9 p.m. of that day. You are responsible for the recipe and ALL the ingredients (at your expense, of course). The kitchen is large and well equipped with cookie sheets, rolling pins, mixing bowls, etc. You may NOT hum or sing as you prepare the cookies. You may, however, recite song lyrics in a normal speaking voice.
Forbidden ingredients include anise, marjoram, allspice, caraway, and oats. I will nevertheless request oatmeal cookies from time to time and you must find a way to make them without oats. Good luck with that. The worst ingredient of all, though, is NUTMEG. If even one speck of nutmeg, even the tracest amount of the stuff, is discovered in my home, I will pour vinegar on your belongings and chuck them in the street. You may assume the locks will be changed. You may use cinnamon, cloves, and raisins, though I am rather indifferent to these and will likely not be impressed. Chocolate is encouraged, as is vanilla bean extract.
You will be given three cookie cutters: a crescent moon, a star, and a doggie in profile. All cookies must be in one of those three shapes. The doggies must be given names and all the names must be different and cute. Cuteness is my call, not yours. For example, “Smuggins” is cute but “Lionel” is not.
The cookies must be artfully arranged on a lace cloth on a silver platter and garnished. Permissible garnishes include jellied fruits and candied flowers. Sugared figs are under review, but don’t get your hopes up.
Your room contains a twin bed, a dresser, a desk w/chair, and a TV with cable access. The TV is tuned permanently to the Food Network. You may watch only shows featuring cookies and cookie by-products.
If you are interested in this arrangement, please submit the following:
1) Your favorite cookie recipe
2) A picture of tasty cookies
3) A short original poem about cookies
Thank you.
86 at B’way google map yahoo map
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 834022781
Add a comment:
Previewing your comment:
HTML Hints
Some HTML is OK: <a href="URL">link</a>, <strong>strong</strong>, <em>em</em>
Comment Guidelines
Post whatever you want, just keep it seriously about eats, seriously. We reserve the right to delete off-topic or inflammatory comments. Learn more at our Comment Policy page.
If you see something not so nice, please, report an inappropriate comment.
23 Comments:
This is an arrangement I would consider, but only because I'm constantly broke and a little insane. That being said, all of us should be afraid of that person, very, very afraid.
PumpkinBear at 5:28PM on 09/10/08
But I thought cookies were a sometimes food?
cyberroo at 5:31PM on 09/10/08
Until reading this ad, I looked at cookies as a sweet lil' innocent dessert...something that everyone could enjoy...including unicorns.
THIS GUY TURNED THEM INTO SATAN'S PLAYTHING.
roboppy at 5:34PM on 09/10/08
Sounds like a guy that will flay you for accidentally dropping an oat into his oatmeal cookies.
It would be a great CSI episode though!
AliNC at 5:50PM on 09/10/08
I am crying from laughing so hard while reading this.
dishingupdelights at 6:04PM on 09/10/08
Is this a fetish thing?
Marls Barkley at 6:27PM on 09/10/08
Marcel Proust is alive and well and living in New York Cty.
marimann at 7:09PM on 09/10/08
this douche bag needs a hobby and possibly lipitor.
ChelleyD01 at 7:51PM on 09/10/08
hahahaha that is great, I don't know what I would name all the doggie cookies though :)
Sarahrm at 7:59PM on 09/10/08
I wonder if you would have to come up with new doggie names every day or could you reuse them? Not that if you could reuse them that would make it any less crazy.
allirose at 8:26PM on 09/10/08
LOL
This guy is a prime candidate to get smacked with a roll of Pillsbury cookie dough.
holdthemayo at 9:39PM on 09/10/08
you know, i would so do that. i like baking cookies, i'm not half bad at baking cookies, and my savings would probably last me a few months in this kind of situation.
actually, this sounds like a reality show.
redhead at 10:37PM on 09/10/08
how much $ do you think all those cookies would cost you a month?
_greenbean at 9:00AM on 09/11/08
i'm sure this is meant to be funny, but i'm a little scared. nay, quite scared. as though apartment hunting isn't hard to begin with!
in dubious batter at 9:12AM on 09/11/08
@cyberroo: you are the first person to make me laugh out loud today!
this post was pretty hysterical too-very creative.
what short, original poem about cookies would you write for submission?
gastronomeg at 10:57AM on 09/11/08
Do you think he is going to eat all of these cookies? I mean, what is the larger plan here?
I think this set-up is one of the only things that could drive me to hate cookies. And that is a sad, sad thing.
Laurel E at 11:11AM on 09/11/08
Why do I feel like I just read some sort of ransom note?
OneWallKitchen at 1:24PM on 09/11/08
The cookie stuff is funny, but my favorite touch is the pouring of vinegar into your belongings. That's demented, in a lovely way. I'm picturing the writer as Elaine's boss from Seinfeld, the one who made her buy socks for him...
Ghostly at 2:01PM on 09/11/08
NOOO, someone flagged the post for removal. Whoever it was, I'm mentally pouring vinegar on all your belongings and throwing them out on the street.
mlo at 2:07PM on 09/11/08
Ode to the Cookie,
my friend is sweet and always there for me!
with a glass of milk, he's always available for breakfast or midnight talks
he is great with my kids and always brings a smile to my face!
I try to get my fill, but I always miss him when he's gone.
Ode to the Cookie.
csbrown at 9:25AM on 09/12/08
You are not permitted to hum, but may recite song lyrics in a normal speaking voice. This guy is great!!! I wish i could write ad's this funny. The response would be phenomanal.... you may assume the locks have been changed...
bridge at 7:56PM on 09/15/08
this is one sick fuck - looking for for servitude from a submissive subservient type. Has nothing to do with the cookies. Anyone who would even consider this type of arrangement deserves what he/she gets. Craig.....where are your standards? Why do you allow postings like this?
kee kee at 12:02PM on 09/16/08
@keekee---don't think I would use such strong language as sick f*ck, now...maybe "anal-retentive" would be a kinder, gentler, way to put it, or with some serious obsessive-compulsive issues?
iamon02 at 1:10PM on 09/16/08