Serious Eats
Gothic Novelist Works for Whitman's Chocolates
Somewhere in between writing Cthulhu Mythos, Necronomicon, and other horror fiction, 20th century author H.P. Lovecraft might have enjoyed a stint as a Whitman's Sampler copywriter. Shifting from macabre folklore to confectioneries could be a nice change of pace, no? McSweeney's writer Luke Burns thought so, creating these Lovecraftian descriptions for Whitman's Sampler sweets.
For the white chocolate truffle:
The horror of the unearthly, corpselike pallor of this truffle's complexion is only offset by its fiendish deliciousness.
For the peanut butter cup:
In 1856, a fisherman from a tiny hamlet on the New England coast made a terrible pact with serpentine beasts from beneath the sea, that he might create the most delicious sweet seen upon the Earth since the days of the great Elder Race. Thus was forged the satanic pact between peanut butter and chocolate...
Chocolate and night terrors, teamed up like never before!