Gothic Novelist Works for Whitman's Chocolates
Somewhere in between writing Cthulhu Mythos, Necronomicon, and other horror fiction, 20th century author H.P. Lovecraft might have enjoyed a stint as a Whitman's Sampler copywriter. Shifting from macabre folklore to confectioneries could be a nice change of pace, no? McSweeney's writer Luke Burns thought so, creating these Lovecraftian descriptions for Whitman's Sampler sweets.
For the white chocolate truffle:
The horror of the unearthly, corpselike pallor of this truffle's complexion is only offset by its fiendish deliciousness.
For the peanut butter cup:
In 1856, a fisherman from a tiny hamlet on the New England coast made a terrible pact with serpentine beasts from beneath the sea, that he might create the most delicious sweet seen upon the Earth since the days of the great Elder Race. Thus was forged the satanic pact between peanut butter and chocolate...
Chocolate and night terrors, teamed up like never before!
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5 Comments:
This is almost creepy how the Serious Eats writers and I seem to inhabit the same internet niche. I was just chuckling over this McSweeney's piece over the weekend. Stop stalking me, guys!! ;)
Pammeh at 5:08PM on 08/18/08
This is one of my most favorite things ever. I think we need to use this writing style more often.
roboppy at 5:13PM on 08/18/08
hmmm maybe SE folks should start getting paid by the word like poor ole HP was. hehe the eldrich horror of having to come up with 3000 words on white chocolate? eeeekkkk. long live Miskatonic U.!!!!
huneybumper at 7:25AM on 08/19/08
Sounds like R'lyeh thing -- the dessert that will drive you insane.
Stushi at 2:53PM on 08/19/08
Actually, Lovecraft was addicted to sweets without the income to indulge it too often -- friends record his passion for ice cream.
Stushi at 2:54PM on 08/19/08