Serious Eats
The Next Food Network Star, Episode 5 Recap: Don't Screw Up In Front of Bon Appetit Judges
I really wasn't a fan of this show when handed the beat. Everything felt so sloppy, forced; the goofy personalities were hard to watch. These people are seriously on television? Not to mention a decent Food Network time slot. But I found a new way of looking at it, and now I'm hooked.
The Next Food Network Star is less a food-food show, more a spoof of everything else on the network. The focus is not on raw kitchen talent, Asian street food or four-second meals. Instead, it's like a sketch comedy group's reaction to food television today. The overstated personalities, the ridiculous do-or-die challenges (involving something of grapefruit-caliber), and our obsession with fame. Then you realize it's not a joke, but a real show with real people running on a real network's budget, which fascinates me on some level.
The First Challenge: Avoid "Delicious, Amazing, Yummy" Descriptors
Iron Chef alum Cat Cora explained why six wicker baskets were sitting on the counter. Were they going on a picnic? Nuh-uh! Contestants had thirty minutes to create dishes using secret ingredients inside these baskets. But the second part was the real challenge. Explain another contestant's finished dish on screen without using the predictable "food" words or looking lame on television—their weakness.
Most enjoyable, but also most depressing, was Jennifer's noodle-naming. While hacking at Lisa's udon dish with fork and knife obsessively, she oozed about the "linguine."
Oops, Jennifer Mixes Up Linguine and Udon
Hey, we've all been there. Sometimes I accidentally make my Alfredo with udon, so what? They're both long, stringy, and uh, noodley. Human error. At least Jennifer is personable and approachable, and her on-screen noodle glitches are even endearing. It's Lisa that scares us. Even the committee has urged her to soften up, but her squinty stage eyes came across as typically fake this episode. Even if she can cook, the lady gives off ice queen vibes.
Kelsey also entered the failing girls category. Predictably Rachel Rayian in front of the camera, she dropped every sparkly adjective in the book. Absolutely delicious... beautiful! ... big burst of flavor in your mouth! But the shimmer dissipated when her mouth flamed up. What she thought was citrus was actually a habernero pepper. Poor little Kelsey!
Kelsey's Mouth on Fire
Shane was the right balance of unannoying and still energetic, which definitely rubbed Cora the right way. "I like your energy," she declared, pleasing him to no end. Throughout the episode, he seemed to make flirty eyes at her, and we're guessing, he slipped her his digits after the show.
The Main Challenge: Make Mom Proud By Getting Into Bon Appetit
Bon Appetit editor-in-chief Barbara Fairchild showed up with her entourage of "Bone-App" editors, as they kept weirdly calling it. Teams of two had to recreate turducken, Beef Wellington or Coq au vin, what you might find in a Bon Appetit holiday spread. The winner's recipe would be published in the magazine's August issue.
On one team, Aaron and Adam were better at pronouncing "vin" than they were actually cooking it. Aaron got all Euro-fancy while Adam went simple, rhyming it with "sin." Aaron's typical goofiness again saved the day, even if judges thought this recreation missed the part about "red wine and chicken becoming one." (But remember, the show is not about the food.)
The boys were hardly dramatic compared to Lisa and Jennifer, Team Cat Fight. When Lisa's shadow Jennifer accidentally broke a bottle of apricot juice all over the still-cooking dish, Lisa looked ready to sock her. Do people really bang breakable jugs on countertops like that? The girls were forced to toss out a ruined piece of duck confit and the acorn squash, leaving Jennifer with no contribution to the dish. Lisa was steaming, but told herself, they don't like me when I'm mean, so calm down.
That's Not Sea Salt; It's Glass
Who's Safe
Team Blondies, Kelsey and Shane, have been recent favorites with judges, and sealed the deal again by dedicating their dish No-Nightmare Beef Wellington to their mamas. Kelsey should have left it at that, but also threw in her default, "I made this in culinary school" line, annoying judge Bob Tuschman. "It's like a pilot saying, I just finished flight school, I think I can fly this plane!"
Who's Eliminated
Lisa is safe. Adam should tone down his goofiness, but for now, he remains "wittily charming" and also safe. Aaron is staying too, but needs to reveal more of his "true self," according to judges.
What exactly do they mean here? That he should describe more dishes as "hoopty"?
Aaron Likes His Coq Au Vin "Hoopty"
Jennifer "Oops I Did It Again" Cochrane was sent home after mixing-up Italian and Japanese noodles, and hitting that bottle of juice too hard on the countertop. No more oops-ing for Jennifer.
Previously
NFNS, Episode 4 Recap
NFNS, Episode 3 Recap
NFNS, Episode 2 Recap
The Next Food Network Star's Lisa Garza: Love Her or Hate Her?