"It's hot steamy food in your face right now."
Sure, eating is fun, but it's just so darn time- and energy-consuming. Fortunately, The Onion News Network announces the fast food industry's latest development: wearable feedbags.
"Something that we heard over and over again was, 'I really love your food; I just wish it wasn't so much work to have to eat it,'" says a fast food executive in the video. Obviously, the only way to solve this problem is to strap your food to your head.
"Sometimes I don't feel like moving my arms, so this way you can just have it on your face, close to your mouth, so you don't have to pick anything up," says a man with sauce all over his chin.
Information on the eventual development of family-style feed troughs and drive-through feed hoses after the jump.