After months of experimentation I have finally come up with my perfect diet breakfast. I wish what I am about to tell you would be of more comfort to those of you who strive to eat a reasonably healthy diet, but it most assuredly isn't. In fact, what I'm about to tell you may be horrifying. Because I haven't settled on Greek yogurt or granola or toast made from whole-grain bread as my ideal diet breakfast, though I have grown to appreciate each of those foods in recent months. In fact I am using all three of the above-mentioned items in my diet breakfast rotation, along with a toasted bialy with the lightest schmear of whipped cream cheese.

But for this past week at least, my ideal breakfast turns out to be a 0.8-ounce bag of Kettle Bakes potato chips, a 20-ounce bottle of Diet Coke, and a banana. I find it has everything I'm looking for in a breakfast.

The chips are crunchy, satisfying, and moderately caloric (each bag is just 100 calories). These potato chips taste like potatoes, aren't greasy in the slightest, and have enough salt to be lipsmackingly good. They also have one of my favorite lines of copy on the bag: "The rice cakes are jealous." C'mon, you have to admit it; that's genius. Who's the copywriter?

The Diet Coke supplies the caffeine, plenty of taste, and is very filling. Twenty ounces of Diet Coke will fill even the hungriest of folks right up.

A perfectly ripe banana is, of course, a beautiful thing. It's creamy, sweet, and a wonderful source of potassium.

I hope, serious eaters, that you are not too disappointed in me. I know this breakfast leaves a great deal to be desired nutritionally and is lacking in so many other ways. For one thing, too much Diet Coke has a corrosive effect on my intestinal tract. But right now this particular breakfast seems to do the trick in the morning. I am sated after I eat it, and it tides me over until lunch. I have found in general that eating a real breakfast is important in my effort to lose weight and keep my energy level up.

Now we're about to find out whether my chips, diet coke, and banana breakfast has helped me lose weight this week. I stayed even for the week. I'm still down nine pounds overall.