Ed Levine's Serious Diet, Week 20: Sneak Food Can Be a Real Problem
Last week, on Martha's Vineyard, I too often found myself in sneak food mode, a condition that frequently afflicts those of us of the dieting-living persuasion. What is sneak food mode? I'm sure at least a couple of serious eaters know it all too well.
Sneak food mode is just that, a moment, a window of opportunity that allows me to buy food to eat (all in the name of research, of course) that my wife (and sometimes my son, who is about to turn 21) will never find out about.
On the Vineyard sneak food moments or opportunities abound, as you are about to find out. And let me tell you, my serious eaters, this sneak food stuff is a slippery, slippery slope, which, if I let it get out of control could cost me up to 1,000 calories of food that I absolutely do not need.
The first sneak opportunity on the Vineyard is the morning paper run. I tell Vicky I'm going to Alley's General Store to get the papers. Alley's sign says it is "Dealers in Almost Everything." With my particular issues the things that they deal in that get me in trouble are chips, chocolate, and penny candy. So in attempting to buy the New York Times, the New York Post, and perhaps the local Martha's Vineyard Gazette, I often end up with a Mary Jane (10 cents), or a mini-Toblerone bar (35 cents, and a bag of potato chips that I convince myself I have never tried before. A little sweet, a little savory, neither of which do I in the least bit need. I usually throw out the bag of chips after eating about ten of them. This ritual tossing of the chips saves me from eating the whole bag and also destroys the evidence of my sneak food foray.
Sometime they are sold out of the Post at Alleys, so I have to drive to Conways, the pharmacy a couple of miles down the road. That drives takes me past Mrs. Blake's, which as you know from last week's post, would be insanely dangerous sneak food territory except for one thing. Her optimal sneak food items are her cookies and her hermit bars, and they're not all that good. If she made an individual pie now that would be a sneak food delight or disaster, depending on the way you look at it. But thank God she doesn't, and I have never figured out a way to buy a whole pie as a sneak food.
A whole pie requires a slicing implement and a fork, neither of which I carry with me. If I ever did start carrying both of those then, Roger, we would have a problem. A very big problem.
But right between Mrs. Blake's and Conway's is Fella's. Fella's makes a pretty good breakfast sandwich, which is of course a perfect sneak food because it's meant to be eaten in its entirety by one person on the go in the car. If I throw out the butcher paper it's wrapped in and brown paper bag it comes in, no one will ever be the wiser.
My last opportunity for sneak food is if I have to drive into Vineyard Haven to do a major food shop. Right before Cronig's is John's Fish Market. Attached to John's is a pretty good fried seafood window, Sandy's Fish & Chips. Sandy's makes swell fried clams. I have been known to polish off a small box of clams and leave no telltale signs.
But this week I managed my sneak food impulses pretty well. I did have a few Dijon Honey potato chips (damn fine) at Alley's and a mini-toblerone (I have to say that Toblerone bars just aren't that great. They're too sweet and not chocolaty enough).
But that's it. No fried clams, no breakfast sandwiches, no mediocre Mrs. Blake's hermit cookies. I did sneak in a still-warm oatmeal raisin cookie at the Artisan's Fair, but I threw out half of it. So all in all I think I battled my sneak food demons pretty successfully this past weekend.
I weighed myself two days ago and I was in pretty good shape. Of course in the interim I ate my review meal, and review meals are a most worthy meal for a future diet post. So what's it going to be this week, Mr. Scale? Damn, up a pound. You let me down this week, Mr. Scale. I am now down a total of seven pounds.
Add a comment:
Previewing your comment:
HTML Hints
Some HTML is OK: <a href="URL">link</a>, <strong>strong</strong>, <em>em</em>
Comment Guidelines
Post whatever you want, just keep it seriously about eats, seriously. We reserve the right to delete off-topic or inflammatory comments. Learn more at our Comment Policy page.
If you see something not so nice, please, report an inappropriate comment.
9 Comments:
Mary Jane's and fast window fried seafood would do me in. My pockets would be bursting with peanutty goodies and my tummy with "in the basket" no fries (see how diligent I am? ;), with tartar and cocktail sauce on the side, please.
Good thing I'm stuck in PA.
As they say in Philly, "Guh luck"!
PerkyMac at 9:26AM on 05/30/08
Fried seafood. Oy. Hang in there, Ed.
OneWallKitchen at 2:27PM on 05/30/08
Oh man, Ed. You nailed this one on the head. Sneak food is a huge problem for me, too. Only in my case, it's unadulterated junk, not any kind of good Eats. I tell my wife (usually days later) that I feel bad about having such a sweet tooth and eating impulse snacks like M&Ms and she always says "I never see you eat any of that sort of thing!" And it's true. She never does. Just the guy at the corner store...
Harold Check at 6:46PM on 05/30/08
My sneak foods: red velvet mini-cupcakes at the deli across the street, Almond Joys, Nutella banana crossisants panini'd, and ice blended whatevers at Peet's coffee.
Once, I randomly saw my boyfriend walking our dog up the street while I was finishing off a cupcake in the car and I literally ate the paper wrapper of the cupcake before I pulled over to pick them up.
mangabanga at 2:40AM on 05/31/08
Here's my theory (and I don't sneak-eat; no judgement if you do, I just don't)...if I want to eat something that I can't get on a regular basis anywhere else (i.e. blueberry ice cream on the Vineyard), I go for it. I may not eat the whole thing, but if I do, I can live with it. Either way, if I reaaally want it, I go for it.
Toblerone and Mary Janes? Not worth it in my book (any day), but if nothing else, Ed, you should know that you can find those anywhere, any time! Great fried seafood is a different story.
My two cents... :-)
Curlz at 11:37AM on 05/31/08
LOL, Ed, this was an enjoyable read. I couldn't decide if it's a cautionary tale or a tutorial, either way I'm craving fried clams!
wookie at 12:11PM on 05/31/08
This is the perfect profile of someone who has eating/weigh issues. And people who don't fit the profile have no idea what it's like. You've held up the mirror to a lot of us and opened a window to those who have never peeked in. Good luck on the Vineyard. Watch out for those sneaky pounds.
challah at 8:02PM on 05/31/08
fried clams!!!! hold the mary janes and chips but send those clams my way! wink Dont be to upset Ed diets go up and down for Everyone just eat what you love in small amounts and keep excercising you'll do great!
huneybumper at 8:05PM on 05/31/08
You had me at fried clams. I agree with huneybumper, go for a jog. Don't give up on the good stuff.
mkcunningham at 9:20PM on 06/01/08