In Videos: Andy Rooney on Fruit
"I've bought a thousand honeydew melons and only three of them have been ripe." —Andy Rooney
As Alaina here in the Serious Eats office pointed out, "Andy Rooney is the original blogger." I never thought of it quite like that, but as the camera follows him on a trip to the grocery store (from last night's 60 Minutes), what does he do but essentially blog aloud?
I think with Andy Rooney, you either love his schtick or hate it. I happen to love it, since I'm basically Andy Rooney minus 55 years. Check out his curmudgeonly observations on fruit:
"I think we would eat more fruit if we knew for sure it was going to be any good when we bought it."
"Lemons: one of the great fruits. So versatile. So many things you can do with them. Of course, you can't eat them."
"Mango: They're good, but the pit is a strange shape and hard to get at. You need a very sharp knife and about a half an hour to get at what you want to eat."
"I'm not too familiar with papaya. I'd buy one but I don't know whether I'd know what to do with it and whether you eat it for breakfast or dessert."
"I suppose over the years I've wasted more money on melons than anything I've ever bought. I've bought a thousand honeydew melons and only three of them have been ripe."
"I don't want to buy six or eight bananas. I don't want to get them in a pack. I just want one or two bananas."
"I think a cherry is the only thing I've ever stolen from a store."
"One of the great mysteries to me is how they make a grape without any seeds in it. And where is the next generation of grapes coming from if they don't have seeds in them?"
"What do they have tomatoes in with the fruits for? I know there are people that argue that a tomato is a fruit. Tomatoes are a vegetable; I don't care what they say."
"What in the world is a pluot?"
Related
Andy Rooney [Wikipedia]
Fairway Market [official site]
Blogger Without Borders [Flickr]
Video link: Andy Rooney on Fruit [RedLasso]
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13 Comments:
I (heart) Andy Rooney.
bisbee at 12:40PM on 04/14/08
This reminds me of:
"I don't understand it, so I'll be angry about it."
Tomatoes aren't fruits!
WTF is a Pluot?
Do I eat it for breakfast or dessert?
glutton at 12:46PM on 04/14/08
First of all, I love the fact that I have a Fairway just several blocks away out on Long Island. When the other supermarkets are getting in garbage (or have fruit rotting on the shelves) I can take a quick trip over there and get what I need without a fuss. That and it usually ends up being cheaper!
Second, this was absolutely hilarious. I needed a bit of levity this morning and Rooney rarely fails to deliver.
First Chair at 12:49PM on 04/14/08
One day we'll all be Andy Rooney.
Raphael at 12:52PM on 04/14/08
Andy Rooney fans represent! I was really afraid he was gonna go negative on mangoes and I was going to have to choose between two beloved mainstays of my childhood, but it turned out alright.
anildash at 12:53PM on 04/14/08
Ha! Love him!
bitchincamero at 12:55PM on 04/14/08
3 out of a few thousand? I would have given up after, say, 10 bad melons. Maybe the problem is Andy. And to Raphael, not all of us will be crotchety, whiny, professional complainers. Some of us plan to be mellow, open-minded, cool old people. I've met a few that inspired me.
BrianPrestonCampbell at 12:58PM on 04/14/08
Most grapes aren't grown from seed. The "next generation of grapes" are usually clones of the previous generation, grown by grafting or planting cut vines from other plants.
jamieforrest at 12:59PM on 04/14/08
What I want to know is when did they film that? 3 o'clock in the morning? Where are the people? Where's the little old lady nudging you with her cart? Where's the impatient woman, just back from her run (that'd be me), barrelling through the aisles? Where's the mother with the double stroller clogging the aisle? Where are the people in my beloved Fairway?
Dee at 1:27PM on 04/14/08
@BrianPrestonCampbell, like the rest of us you'll probably only be a "mellow, open-minded, cool old" person if you can remember to take your meds every morning. :-D
@Dee, it's television. They probably rented the place when it wasn't actually open.
I really wanted him to walk around the corner and meet head-on with some real fruit. You know, those guys from "Queer Eye". ;-)
LunaPierCook at 2:12PM on 04/14/08
Rooney's schtick was cute for about two years, back in the 70's.
Since then it's just been bloviation.
srhcb at 9:56PM on 04/14/08
@Luna: Fairway is almost always open. They might be closed Christmas day, but that's about it. (Oh, and on 9/11/01, they closed at 8pm or so, so staff could get home to loved ones. It was very strange to walk by and see the place shuttered.) And I doubt that they'd close down the place merely for Mr. Rooney. They must've done it very very early in the morning.
Dee at 1:25PM on 04/15/08
Andy Rooney is a "National Treasure".
Boscompb at 10:14AM on 05/19/08