In Videos: Andy Rooney on Fruit
"I've bought a thousand honeydew melons and only three of them have been ripe." —Andy Rooney
As Alaina here in the Serious Eats office pointed out, "Andy Rooney is the original blogger." I never thought of it quite like that, but as the camera follows him on a trip to the grocery store (from last night's 60 Minutes), what does he do but essentially blog aloud?
I think with Andy Rooney, you either love his schtick or hate it. I happen to love it, since I'm basically Andy Rooney minus 55 years. Check out his curmudgeonly observations on fruit:
"I think we would eat more fruit if we knew for sure it was going to be any good when we bought it."
"Lemons: one of the great fruits. So versatile. So many things you can do with them. Of course, you can't eat them."
"Mango: They're good, but the pit is a strange shape and hard to get at. You need a very sharp knife and about a half an hour to get at what you want to eat."
"I'm not too familiar with papaya. I'd buy one but I don't know whether I'd know what to do with it and whether you eat it for breakfast or dessert."
"I suppose over the years I've wasted more money on melons than anything I've ever bought. I've bought a thousand honeydew melons and only three of them have been ripe."
"I don't want to buy six or eight bananas. I don't want to get them in a pack. I just want one or two bananas."
"I think a cherry is the only thing I've ever stolen from a store."
"One of the great mysteries to me is how they make a grape without any seeds in it. And where is the next generation of grapes coming from if they don't have seeds in them?"
"What do they have tomatoes in with the fruits for? I know there are people that argue that a tomato is a fruit. Tomatoes are a vegetable; I don't care what they say."
"What in the world is a pluot?"
Video link: Andy Rooney on Fruit [RedLasso]