What kind of food-related apparel is there? I thought of two categories: items that are useful to the food preparation process and are worn for an extended period of time (i.e., not an oven mitt) and items that contain food imagery but provide no functionality other than to make you less naked. Here are some of my top picks for things that may help you in the kitchen and things that definitely won't but may catch the attention of passersby who also have a penchant for food. (Prices do not include shipping unless otherwise noted.)

Professional Clog

giftguide-apparel-shoes.jpgComfortable and durable footwear with slip-resistant soles is important when working in a kitchen for long stretches of time. Dansko and Birkenstock clogs are popular with chefs for protecting their feet and being comfortable even after standing for hours. Wear these shoes; you don't want to mess up your posture! Dansko Professional Clogs, $104.95, Birkenstock Professional Clog, $89.95


giftguide-apparel-aprons.jpgAlthough an apron is meant to act as a protective layer between your clothing and the food you're preparing, that doesn't mean your apron has to be a boring piece of fabric; it can look good and absorb organic residue! For a unique apron, search on handmade goods marketplace Etsy—you'll have nearly 4000 products at your fingertips. One of my favorites is MotherKnowsBest's Japanese Ducks Waist Apron (zoom into the photo to see the pattern of cute duck heads). I also like CrochetBee's Vintage Yellow Gingham Apron from the 1950s with a flower cross stitch pattern on the skirt hem. Japanese Ducks Waist Apron, $19.99, Vintage Yellow Gingham Apron, $12

Bacon Scarf

giftguide-baconscarf.jpgLet bacon keep your neck warm this the winter. Not only does bacon prevent neck frostbite, but it can even heals wounds. You can even eat bacon! Crazy, huh? Embrace the bacon, for it can do no wrong. Bacon Scarf, $35

Bacon Bracelet

giftguide-baconbracelet.jpgIf the weather isn't cold enough for scarves, you can comfortably wear your bacon pride with this leather bracelet made to look like a bacon strip. People will think you have bacon wrapped around your wrist! And that's not weird at all! Bacon Bracelet, $20

Little Dumplings Necklace

giftguide-dumplingnecklace.jpg Dumplings of the world unite in Pagliei's series of sterling silver necklaces adorned by a charm of a potsticker, tortellino, empanada, wonton, gnocco, raviolo, or pierogi. I don't like to wear jewelry, but for the love of the dumpling I would wear one of these. Little Dumplings Necklace, $40

Child's Hot Dog Shirt

giftguide-hotdogshirt.jpgFor the adolescent hot dog lover in your life, give them a shirt with a happy hot dog dude peeking out of its chest pocket. A happy hot dog dude who's eating dog. You can teach your kids about cannibalism as well! Baby/Child Pocket Tee, $16

Ironic / Cute Food T-Shirts


Some people only wear plain, graphic and wordless t-shirts. I am not one of these people. One reason is that I'm unable to pull off wearing a solid colored shirt without looking incredibly boring. Granted, I'm still boring if I wear a shirt bearing a cute image or a silly phrase, but at least those shirts have the potential to make another person laugh or smile. Here are six t-shirts that I found amusing and/or cute without being too lame.

Food In, Poo Out, $20: Humans are basically just poop machines, you know. Spread the word. This may also make a good gift for people with chronic constipation. (Seriously, I've done it!)

If You Can Read This Make Me a Sandwich, $10 until December 16th: This shirt may not actually drive anyone to make you a sandwich, but it doesn't hurt to try.

You Really Grate On Me, $10 until December 16th: Next time you grate down a block of cheese, think about how you so brutally sheared away its existence. And then enjoy your cheese!

I'm Made of Meat!, $17/Men, $19/Women: My god, that steak! He's sweating! With excitement! Or something! I can't stop staring at it!!!

Pancakes, $16: Eat it quickly; the bottom pancake feels much pain.

Bacon is a Vegetable, $18/Men, $19/Women: And butter is low in fat!


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