I like to be creative with my new year's resolutions. I try not to repeat myself, but that can be hard to do when I don't follow through on many of them. That said, I have many new and old resolutions, and I know you won't be surprised to find out that just about all of them revolve around food.
I resolve to eat more vegetables, even if I have to cook them with bacon to do it.
I resolve not to stop at New York's Gray's Papaya for one little hot dog any more on my way home or on my way to a fancy-pants restaurant for dinner. I justify that stop by saying to myself that it's really my own form of amuse bouche. I also resolve to stop wasting my breath by ordering my hot dogs well done at Gray's. The counter guys never listen.
I resolve to eat less bad pizza. No matter what city I'm in, I know where the good pizza is, and there is no excuse for not seeking it out. Being late for a meeting is a small price to pay for an excellent slice.
I resolve to send back hamburgers that are not medium-rare. We medium-rare burger eaters must stick together and send a message to burger overcookers everywhere. We will not stand for this. It is a matter of principle.
I am going to try to limit my bacon intake to 3 times a week, once at breakfast, once at lunch, and once at dinner (see above).
I resolve to try to cease all eating activities after 9 o'clock if I'm home. I don't need to read You On a Diet to know that's a real mistake.
I resolve to go cold turkey on bad frozen french fries. There are enough good fries out there. The bad fries just aren't worth the calories or the carbs.
I resolve to wait for the pizza to cool off before taking my bite. Pizza burn is not fun, and I seem to get a case of it every time I have a slice.
I vow to skip the bad bread served at many restaurants in New York and beyond. It's just that it's so hard because that basket of bread is brought to my table almost immediately, and I'm hungry. I wish more restaurants would serve crudités or nothing instead of bad bread.
I resolve to try to finish my nose-to-tail examination of all things porcine. Long live pig!
I resolve to eat less bad food in general. Being hungry is no excuse. There's always a better bite nearby.
I resolve to complete my tour of America's great fried chicken joints in the coming years. Look out, Prince's in Nashville and Watershed in Atlanta: I'm coming, I'm coming.
I vow to leave no pie tin unturned in my quest to eat every great slice of pie in this country. That means I must visit Karen Barker in North Carolina at the Magnolia Grill this year. I have eaten Barker's transcendent pie at events but never in its native kitchen.
That's all for now. I'm sure many of the New Year's resolutions posted here as comments here will apply to me as well.