'Top Chef' and the Broccolini of Doom

Top Chef in the Air

As Abraham Lincoln used to say, we're getting down to the raisins. Only six competitors are left in the fight: Sara M., C.J., Brian, Hung, Casey, and Dale. Last week we lost Howie. Wow. It felt really good to say that. This week's show opens with the remaining chefs sleeping like innocent babes until...

Padma bursts into the Fontainebleu penthouse and rousts the groggy chefs from bed, telling them they need to make her some breakfast. Yes, it's the surprise Quickfire Challenge -- prepare breakfast in 20 minutes, somehow utilizing a fancy blender. The penthouse kitchen has been stocked with ingredients and six tiny work stations and the cooks are told to roll up their pajama sleeves and get cooking. (Warning: Spoilers after the jump.)

Within a minute, Hung (or, as he claims, a gremlin) manages to knock a jar of truffle oil all over the floor. It's an inauspicious start to a truly breakneck challenge. Still, at the end of 20 minutes, Padma is served six fairly delicious-looking breakfasts. C.J. made some crepes because, in his words, "Ladies love 'em!" Sara made egg-in-the-hole French Toast, Casey also offered sweet toast, but with some kind of citrus-based salsa. Hung knocked it out of the park, however, giving Padma steak and eggs -- a dish that she said she rarely cares for -- and playing the blender card to perfection with a boozy shake of fruit juice and Grand Marnier.

After Padma pays her respects to her favorites and pronounces Hung the winner, she tells the chefs that they're done with Miami. They're pulling up stakes and heading West. Final destination: The show's climactic episode in Aspen, Colorado. But first, a side trip to New York City.

After the flight, illustrated by a lovely product-placement shot of a Continental jet, the chefs are met by Padma at Newark Airport and told that they won't make it to New York unless they survive the elimination challenge. That challenge is to prepare 18 servings of a first-class airline meal, using the kitchen facilities at the airport and finishing the dishes in the ovens on a Boeing 777.

This week's guest judges are the head of Contintental's Congress of Chefs, plus bad-boy world traveler Anthony Bourdain, and a cabin-full of Continental flight attendants. Of course, Padma and Tom are also on board.

The dishes look good, for the most part. There weren't any major meltdowns in the prep or the cooking. The Top Chef story editors attempted to make an issue out of CJ being a little rushed at the end of his prep time and Hung not volunteering to help, but it really seemed like a stretch to imagine that once you finish your dish, you're expected to lend a hand to whoever's feeling the heat. If that's an unwritten rule of the competition, someone better write it down, because it's a little counter-intuitive. In any case, the prep went smoothly and most of the dishes looked like they were heading for an "on-time arrival." And yet...

Things went South fast. I think it might have been a bad idea to seat Bourdain and Colicchio next to each other. They had such as obvious rapport they clearly had no remorse in savaging the dishes. Everyone knows it's more fun to run things down than pump them up, and it seemed like Tony was surprised, and almost a little disappointed, when he came across a dish he had to laud instead of lambaste. Still, as vicious as the on-screen criticism may have been, there's little doubt that the food in question deserved to be called out. The main culprits were Sara's couscous side dish, C.J.'s roasted broccolini, and Brian's lobster and potato hash. Here were three plates that the judges unanimously agreed were sub-par at best, and in one case, the worst dish served in three seasons of Top Chef. Ouch. That's one honor to leave off the résumé.

On the flip side: Hung, Casey, and Dale were all given high marks, despite the extremely difficult circumstances in which they were asked to work. Hung's Chilean Sea Bass delighted Tony for its sophistication and the smart use of a protein that could spend the minimum amount of time in the unforgiving airplane ovens. Casey's Grilled Veal Medallions with Crimini, Apple-Brandy Sauce with Cauliflower Gratin impressed everyone who tasted it, despite the unusual choices of veal and a non-crowd-pleaser of a vegetable in the cauliflower. For the second week in a row, Casey took home the trophy and the non-parting gift -- this week it was two first-class ticket anywhere Continental flies. Have fun in Cincinnati, Casey!

On the chopping block, inevitably, was the author of the dreaded "worst dish in Top Chef history," and he took it with about as much class and good humor as any reality TV contestant I've ever seen. No tears, no recriminations. Just a thank-you to the judges and a hug for his fellow contestants. I have a feeling it will be a long time before CJ serves anyone any broccolini, whether land-based or airborne. Good luck, big guy, you'll be missed.

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