Serious Eats
'Top Chef': All Dressed Up
Guess what, this week's Quickfire Challenge was sponsored! You really have to hand it to the Top Chef ad-sales crew. One can only imagine the high fives at the Bravo business offices as they force "synergies" on the production team week after week. Maybe next year they can spin that process off into its own reality show—Top Ad Sales Executive. I relish the thought of hearing those magical words: "Please turn off your Bluetooth headset and go..."
Ah, but I'm beating a dead horse on this one. Speaking of which, most people wouldn't want dead horse mixed into their Cold Stone Creamery ice cream. Or cauliflower espuma. Or Sriracha sauce. But, hey, that didn't stop some of the chefs from trying. The Quickfire Challenge was to prepare toppings to be folded into mall-goers' favorite high-calorie dessert. Tre, Howie, and Dale got high marks for preparing high-end fruit-based condiments for their dishes. Hung and Casey got hung out to dry for using the aforementioned cauliflower and Sriracha. In fact, Hung emptied the proverbial pantry on this challenge. That dude seriously needs to take it down a notch. He has gone from first episode front-runner to permanent disappointment. If he doesn't make some adjustments soon, methinks he will be heading back to Guy Savoy tout de suite. [Warning: Spoilers after the jump.]
On the other side of the kitchen, Dale's solid performances have given him some nice momentum. He won the Quickfire with his peach cobbler topping and was given immunity from elimination.
In fact, not only was Dale given immunity, he was given the night off and a dinner date with guest judge Govind Armstrong. That left eight competitors to duke it out in yet another team challenge. Two teams of four were told that they'd be using mobile kitchens to cook late-night snack food for hungry Miami clubgoers. Of course, they were told this after being led to believe that they themselves were going out to the club for a night of dancing and debauchery. Oops. And of course that meant that all our attractive chefs were dressed to the nines for their shopping, chopping, and hash-slinging stints at the griddle. You gotta hand it to the Top Chef producers on this one. Each of them can officially put "Evil Genius" on their business card.
So, while Dale and Govind canoodled at the guest judge's Table 8 restaurant, the two teams slaved away producing ceviche tacos, sliders, Cuban sandwiches, quesadillas, onion rings, bacon-wrapped shrimp, cheese grits, and other assorted greasy treats.
The first group, made up of Brian, Hung, Cheesemaker Sara, and Tre, worked as a confident, energetic, thoughtful team. Let's nickname them "The Winners." The other bunch, made up of CJ, Casey, Pouty Sara, and Howie, worked like a bickering, chaotic, dysfunctional family. Let's call them "The Losers," which is exactly the position they were destined for from the very start of this challenge. It was actually interesting to be so completely certain of which team was going to be sending someone home. It certainly upped the drama you felt while watching this crew implode over the course of the evening.
Each team member on the losing side seemed to play his or her role to perfection. CJ attempted to rise above the obvious problems they faced and bring everyone together. He failed miserably, but at least he knew what needed to be done. Casey made sure her quesadillas went well enough to keep her in the competition. Then she kept her head down. Howie acted like the self-absorbed egotist we've come to know and, um, love. And Pouty Sara acted as the brunt of Howie's abuse, seething and preparing her hamburgers and milkshakes as... slowly... as... humanly... possible.
The real victor of this episode was Tom Colicchio, whose criticism of each of these losing competitors at the judges' table was spot on.
In the end, Pouty Sara's lack of assertiveness and her inability to take a shitty situation and make something out of it doomed her to elimination. On the upside, she went out with some choice words for Howie, who has clearly cemented his position as this season's Marcel. I have to admit that Sara lasted a lot longer in this competition than I imagined her youth would carry her. During the premiere episode, she was my prediction for first to go home. A prediction that she managed to defy week after week.
On the winner's side, Tre took top honors for making a great dish of bacon-wrapped shrimp and cheese grits that satisfied both drunken Miami clubbers and the judges. He also transitioned seamlessly from limo to roach-coach by simply taking off his shirt and flashing his "guns" to the lucky patrons lined up for grub. You stay classy, Tre!
Finally, if you ignored my advice about checking out the Top Chef blogs, you are missing a delightful dust-up between guest blogger Rocco DiSpirito and now permanent commentator Anthony Bourdain.