Quotations from Chairman Bruni
I knew Mr. B was going to hate Max Brenner, Chocolate By The Bald Man, I just didn't know how he would express his distaste.
The stupendous lead paragraph: "If we're not vigilant, who knows what could happen? We could wake up one dark chocolate morning to an East River of cocoa and a Hudson of hot fudge, slices of banana bobbing on its surface. The streets would be paved with bonbons, the skyscrapers bricked with fudge. Calorie counts would skyrocket. And a pox of tooth decay would descend."
His take on a congealed lasagna Bolognese: It "could have been the work of that great Italian artisan Chef Boyardee."
His 6-year-old nephew Gavin delivered the coup de grace. After eating a sampler plate studded with candies like Pop Rocks, Gavin doubled over, his hands on his stomach. He let out a pathetic moan, accompanied by words as true as any I've heard spoken.
"Not everything," he said, "should be made into a dessert."
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6 Comments:
you've got admit there is little about those places that aren't revolting -- from concept to execution. it's symptomatic of the nursery-ifacation of manhattan. (and i mean that in both senses -- too many strollers and too many overgrown babies. the article in the times about apartment buildings that are like college dorms was horrifying as well).
Dish at 9:31AM on 05/02/07
I couldn't agree more, though I'm not sure I agree with you about the apartment buildings with common areas. Anything that naturally fosters community in a big city is okay with me.
Ed Levine at 9:40AM on 05/02/07
Honestly, I was expecting worse out of Bruni. I mean, this is bordering on a recommendation!
"I liked the feel of the cup and the frothiness of the dark chocolate. If you want to check Max Brenner out — and a spectacle this extravagantly sugary perhaps warrants a gander — an off-hours hug mug is the way to go. You’ll be out only $3.95 and 20 to 30 minutes."
I've been to Max Brenner more times than I care to admit - like many other places, it's a guilty pleasure. The food isn't bad - not fantastic by any stretech, but serviceable. The hot chocolate is enjoyable. Many of the desserts are over the top - but I assume that's the point. Prices are, for NYC, reasonable. It is, as Bruni said, satisfactory - which certainly doesn't merit a NYT review.
I have seen some horrible behavior in there, though - one too many kids have nearly started a fire because they think leaving a graham cracker on top of the smores flame is a good idea, and apparently the parents don't care. But that's a separate issue.
Dan Dickinson at 10:55AM on 05/02/07
ed levine you hippie.
couldn't we foster community like in the olden days (and by olden i mean the 1980s): go to bars, get drunk and go home with people?
Dish at 11:31AM on 05/02/07
@Dan Dickinson, me too! Most of my chocolate-loving friends have said that it's actually TOO expensive for the poor quality chocolate that they use.
That said, I do enjoy their hot chocolate, but only the Italian kind. It's possibly the only decent thing on the menu, but seems just a bit expensive for the small size you receive. I guess someone has to pay for the chocolate faux Willy Wonka piping across the ceiling.
kathryn at 11:47AM on 05/02/07
honestly, i also expected worse from the chairman! i find max brenner hot chocolate, as well as its marketing ploys, offensively bad. as to the audience it caters to: i recently saw rachel ray recommend it on her travel show... 'nuf said.
sabrina at 1:42PM on 05/02/07