Prime Ego, Prime Rib: Introducing Trump Steaks
Donald Trump, billionaire, owner* of the world's most famous combover, and now purveyor of over-priced meats? He recently launched his latest venture, Trump Steaks, selling USDA Prime Certified Angus Beef filet mignon, New York strip, rib eye, porterhouse, and steak burgers, to be distributed exclusively through his website and, as Grub Street said, the "appropriately eighties" Sharper Image. The meats are packaged in four collections: Classic, the cheapest, includes four steaks and twelve burgers, and costs $199; the priciest is Connoisseur, which has sixteen steaks, twenty-four burgers and will set you back a whopping $999—and that's before shipping, which is presumably not free.
Trump touts the fact that his steaks are "selected so that their beef meets nine additional quality standards not even required of USDA Prime" (which, by the way, is not that great) but doesn't say what these nine standards actually are, and says they're "aged to perfection" without saying how long they're aged for and by what method, wet or dry—you know, the little details that people who are serious about their meat would care about. I enjoy your hair, Mr Trump, but I'm staying away from your steaks.
* Or should that be "perpetrator"?