Fodor's introduces its Ten Commandments of Paris Dining by saying "the rituals of dining in Paris are far less complex than, say, in Japan, but observing these few principles will increase your chances of obtaining good service," but I think all except numbers two and ten apply to restaurants all over the planet, and for ten, you really only need to find the appropriate word to use.
My favorite is Commandment No. 7, "Thou shalt avoid awkward requests: Salad dressing on the side, omelettes without egg yolks, well-done steakswhen a chef takes pride in his work, these things make him bristle. Try to save this type of request for cafés."
From talking to people in the industry, I know that waiters will think less of you and so will the kitchen, and even in the best of restaurants in the world, you and your dining companions may receive lesser service and lesser food because of your fussiness, so just stop already. If you think about it, one of the most beautiful things about eating at a restaurant is that what arrives at your table is the result of someone's life's work, so if you can't do them the honor of letting them do what they do best, maybe you should be eating elsewhere instead. (Food allergies are of course the exception to the rule; any restaurant worth your time and money should and will bend over backwards to make sure you enjoy your meal!)