Caffeinariffic New Coffee from Frisco Pseudo-Renegades
San Francisco-based marketing experts Meth Coffee have emerged quaking from their lab with a new extra-caffeinated beverage dusted with yerba mate.
This vibrationical catalyst for upstarts, earthquakes, and brain shifts is roasted for you by a master druggist, bionicalbrain chemist, and coffee viscologist within hours of receiving your order to guarantee maximum potency.
Just navigating their website is making me jittery. See the I'd-be-outraged-if-this-actually-made-it-on-television video.