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Many of my answers match those of previous poster.

Haggen Dasz (sp?)

Skippy (crunchy)

Bagel

Regular Cream Cheese, but very little

Relish on hot dogs, in theory, choosing from two offered. Prefer cole slaw.

Dark Chocolate! So much so that I would prefer to say Chocolate. That is, there is chocolate, then there is milk chocolate.

Sweet Butter

Pastrami

Onion Rings

Regular Coffee, black, strong, no sugar

Pliant Bacon

Dark Meat. No contest.

• 1) Haggen Dasz or Ben & Jerry's? it's spelled häagen-dazs

* 2) Skippy or Jif? skippy

* 3) Bagel or Bialy? bagel

* 4) Whipped or Regular Cream Cheese? regular - Ben's

* 5) Relish or Sauerkraut on your hot dogs? neither; cooked onions

* 6) Milk or Dark Chocolate? dark

* 7) Salted or Sweet Butter? sweet

* 8) Pastrami or Corned Beef on a Deli Sandwich? tough choice -

pastrami

* 9) French Fries or Onion Rings? ummm, tough choice - onion rings

* 10) Espresso, Regular Coffee or Latte? reg n am, espresso n pm

* 11) Crispy or Pliant Bacon? crispy

* 12) White or Dark Meat (on either chicken or turkey)? white

* 13) hot dogs or hamburgers? hamburgers

* 14) plain pizza or "the works"? the works

etc, etc, .............................

Since you called this a Rorshach test, I am going to talk more about what immediately came to mind for each one. But I would love to see you turn this into a whole Briggs-Meyers thing. Tasting vs. Seasoning, Overindulging vs. Portion-Controlling, Cooking vs. Taking-Out, etc.

Here were my answers, which you will no doubt find terribly revealing.

* 1) Haagen Dasz is becoming unfortunately more and more like B&J. In the past it was always Haagen Dasz because you would compare the ingredients. Haagen Dasz would have something like five, and Ben and Jerry's, something like fifty. Anyway, I see a tree here. A vanilla bean tree. With nice long vanilla bean pods. Which is odd, as vanilla grows on vines.

* 2) Skippy or Jif? The first thing that came to mind was a little guy in a Peter Pan costume, who I assumed was Skippy. But then I realized, no, that's Peter Pan. I guess Peter Pan is in the public domain or something? It seems odd that there are Peter Pan buses driving around, and Peter Pan peanut butter, and this guy -- and neither the estate of JM Barrie, nor Disney, nor Johnny Depp can do a thing about it.

At any rate, who was Skippy? I am trying to imagine the peanut butter label. First, I see the label with Skippy from "Family Ties" on it. That can't be right, so I focus again... and now it's Waldo, as in, the person people are always asking Where he is. That can't be right, either, but Skippy must look something like that. For Jif, I draw a blank altogether -- yet, of course, that is the peanut butter I have always preferred.

* 3) Whenever I see a bialy, I always want to feed it. Perhaps that's because all I see is their deep depression. (1)

This urge to feed those who are depressed is probably a cultural thing picked up from either my Italian or my Jewish grandparents, that goes pretty far back. It's quite confusing to me, as it seems like a bad impulse that could mess up any kids I may eventually have. How much are you charging per hour for this, anyway? Is my time up?

* 4) Regular cream cheese. Whipping something unwhippable is a crime made only possible by heavy industry, but maybe Ferran Adria would disagree. Some people are all for advancing food technology and enhancing "mouth feel" and all that. I think regular cream cheese has pretty darn good mouth feel, and is already industrial enough. But maybe I am a hypocrite for preferring "natural" cream cheese, which is like protesting the invention of new kinds of balogna.

* 5) I've completely forgotten what you asked for number 5. Perhaps the post a reply page should show the original post above? Just a suggestion (David).

* 6) Dark chocolate is clearly having its Best Year Ever.

* 7) I have only in recent years learned that there was a difference between salted and sweet butter, and I still am surprised by this the two or three times a year I actually go to buy some (the rest of the year it magically appears in the fridge on a semi-monthly basis, which is one of the happy side effects of being married). I just thought there was the butter I can buy, and the stuff they have in restaurants that actually tastes good. This is probably the result of having grown up a ways out on Long Island, which until recently was a surefire way to know nothing about food that wasn't red sauce-based, from a deli, caught in the bay, or ordered by its number and taken home with a free cookie.

* 8) Corned beef and pastrami are both more satisfying than cigarettes, but probably as surefire a way to shorten your life. I have no scientific basis for this immediate reaction. They both have a lot of formaldehyde in them, right? No? Sorry, I don't know who gave me that stupid idea. On Long Island we made pastrami from Biology class frogs.

* 9) Onion Rings are not on the same playing field as French Fries, no matter how equal placement Burger King gives them on the menu. Onion Rings are like the Mets of burger sides. (2)

* 10) Question number ten is a trick question. It really should be written: do you still have any hangups -- after all, you grew up on Long Island -- writing in a public forum that you prefer an espresso-based, milky drink to a working-class, good enough for you back when you were working a real job, less-than-a-dollar cup of coffee? And, if not, are you going to think it makes you sound edgier, or more European, to say "espresso," and not the frothy, milky, latte or cappuccino?

At any rate, espresso, of course -- I mean, a good strong cup of black American coffee. From Dunkin Donuts. They have really good coffee, you know. (This is what is called a "Long Island conceit." People say this to make fun of people who live in cities, then get into their SUV, drive five miles to the drive-thru Starbucks, and order a frappuccino.)

* 11) ... (Sorry, still trying to imagine "pliant" bacon. The image that came to mind was of a Bacon Gumby.)

* 12) White or Dark Meat? I had forgotten there was dark meat.

(1) This is a bialy joke!!

(2) For anyone just joining us, what you saw above, with the dig on the Mets, was called "being a troll." Or "making a joke," if you prefer. At any rate, I am glad my e-mail address is not published here. And now... I am thinking that I hope the admin for this site is not a Mets fan. And that he doesn't remember how to do that awesome e-mail denial of service attack thing he is fond of recounting to people sometimes in the elevator. )

1. Ben & Jerry's (love the apple pie).

2. Skippy crunchy.

3. Bialy--had them every Sunday from Avenue U in Brooklyn growing up, get them from Kossar's now. Pretentious? No way.

4. Regular cream cheese (preferably with vegetables added by Russ's).

5. Sauerkraut.

6. Dark, but I don't care all that much.. Maple or caramel would be my dilemma.

7. Sweet (unsalted). I did cross this up once, and asked the nice woman at the Ronnybrook stand at Union Square for "unsweetened butter."

8. Corned beef.

9. Onion rings if they are real, not reconstituted glop.

10. Bustelo.

11. Crispy.

12. Dark meat.

And I take my pizza plain, no toppings.

1) Haggen Dasz decafe coffee, not too frozen. I find Ben & Jerry's just too sweet these days.

2) Whatever is on sale and CREAMY ONLY. I like flipping back and forth between the two to reflect on the differences.

3) Love a good Bialy and always feel like I'm eating fewer calories because there is less bread.

4) Whipped is kind of gross, but easier to use.

5) Sauerkraut and Mustard. That's it.

6) DARK CHOCOLATE! Before I met my husband I didn't distinguish. He really preferred dark and now I can't stomach milk chocolate.

7) I only use sweet butter.

8) Tough Call! I love pastrami, but a corned beef Rueben is one of my favorite sandwiches. I'd have to say pastrami.

9) Onion Rings hands down. I hate french fries.

10) Latte for me please!

11) Crispy bacon - pliant bacon is disgusting!

12) Dark meat, that's where the flavour is!

My personal results: 1) Haagen Dazs, if there was ever any question 2) None of the Above, I prefer Peter Pan 3) Both. 4) Regular 5) Both 6) Dark 7) Sweet 8) Pastrami 9) Onion Rings, but only if they are a superb example 10) Turkish 11) Crispy 12) White.

Jason Perlow / Off The Broiler / Founder, eGullet

1) Ben & Jerry's

2) Jif

3) Bagel

4) Regular

5) Sauerkraut

6) Milk!

7) Salted

8) Pastrami

9) French Fries

10) Regular Coffee

11) Crispy

12) White

• 1) Haggen Dasz

* 2) Skippy

* 3) Bagel

* 4) Regular Cream Cheese

* 5) Relish on your hot dogs

* 6)Dark Chocolate

* 7) Sweet Butter

* 8) Pastrami on a Deli Sandwich

* 9) Onion Rings

* 10) Regular Coffee (but with half & half)

* 11) Crispy Bacon

* 12) White Meat

Also:

Hellman's, not Miracle Whip

Heinz KETCHUP, not CATSUP

Sharp Cheddar, not that wimpy mild stuff

Sears, not Monkey Wards!

1) Haggen Dazs or Ben & Jerry's? Ben n Jerry's because I love the flavor names they come up with and the funky tub designs.

2) Skippy or Jif? Umm, I prefer the local Lily's cos it's sweet and so creamy :).

3) Bagel or Bialy? I love bagels! And never tried a bialy.

4) Whipped or Regular Cream Cheese? Regular.

5) Relish or Sauerkraut on your hot dogs? relish.

6) Milk or Dark Chocolate? Ok, why isn't white chocolate an option?!

7) Salted or Sweet Butter? both

8) Pastrami or Corned Beef on a Deli Sandwich? Pastrami!

9) French Fries or Onion Rings? Fries

10) Espresso, Regular Coffee or Latte? Latte

11) Crispy or Pliant Bacon? Definitely crispy

12) White or Dark Meat (on either chicken or turkey)? Dark, but I try to be good and eat mostly white.